23 month old biting, help!!(9 Posts)
My 23 month old DS2 keeps biting his 6 year old brother.
He is not doing it in anger to hurt him, it is when they are messing around having fun. He doesn't seem to realise its hurting his brother.
I've told him off and put him in time out but he he is quite young to get him to understand.
I haven't dealt with a biter before, so nay ideas would be appreciated.
Im afraid im not going to be much help here. I've never delt with a biter so young but you are doing exactly what i would. By taking him away from the fun straight away hopefully he will realise that it is stopping him from enjoying himself & stop doing it. This may take some time if he doesnt realise he's doing it in the first place. With my DS1 he was almost 4 when started biteing, saying no didnt work & i didnt have the heart to bite him so whoever he bit was alowed to bite back if they wanted. That soon worked but feel your LO is way too little for that. Im afraid it might be time, Patience & perserverence. Good luck xx
Thanks for your reply mo4m. I'm hoping it doesn't last too much longer.
My son bit another a nursery once (he was around 21 months). Children bite for all reasons: teething, frustration, unable to communicate etc. The way the nursery dealt with it was to go 'the injured' and to see if they were alright and then they went to my son and spoke in a calm but firm voice to him, explaining why it was not acceptable to bite another child and that it hurt and made the other person cry. He was told to go the 'the injured' and either say sorry (which he couldn't do as he couldn't say the words) or to give that person a hug. When I got him home that night, he was in the bath and I repeated what the nursery had told him, again, in a frim but calm voice, explaining why it was wrong to bite. I also explained that if a person bit him, to never bite back, but to say "NO (whoever!)" Well, it seems to have worked, as we have never had another incident like that again. Good luck x
My dd is was a biter. It started at around 18 months and carried on until recently (she's now 2.8). I consistently pulled her away from the situation, sternly told her 'NO WE DO NOT BITE' and devoted attention lavishly on the bitee. She would then have to go and say sorry.
We also started giving a small toy to the bitee from her collection (ie a small toy car etc) with the apology.
I think what has stopped her biting is the fact her speech has now come on leaps and bounds and also her understanding, so she is not getting frustrated. I found a great book about a little girl who bit and she has related to that well (Nooo mummy - I'm not the bully who bites, I'm the nice girl...!' Also, following her last bite a couple of months ago - I pretended to cry which she was devestated to see. I said that I was crying because she had bitten another little girl. I was a bit dramatic about my crying and she was wailing too saying - 'I no bite no more'. Anyway, it seems to have done the trick
Also a quarter of children bite at some point - just remember that it is just a phase that will be over soon. They just have little underdeveloped brains at this age that get frustrated and cannot deal with emotions.
it's a shame all maddysmummy's posts have been removed because i read her article on this subject in the scotsman magazine as i stay in edinburgh. it might be able to help you her advice has helped me on none too many occasions. thescotsman.scotsman.com/scotsmanmagazine/She-keeps-biting-us.3792576.jp
Just come back to this, not been on the computer for a while.
Thanks for all your help. That link to the Scotsman was interesting thinkoutloud. Although DS2's reasons for biting seem different to the others I've read.
He is just playing and having a laugh. I honestly don't think he intends to hurt him.
Will persevere with the telling him it is not nice and removing him from the fun.
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