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Toddler scared of people

(5 Posts)
mammamia25 Sun 09-Aug-09 11:26:45

My dd is 23 months and has always been very clingy. I've never been able to walk even a few feet away from her in toddler groups etc, and when I tried to settle her with a childminder when she was 1 the childminder said it wasn't going to work out so we gave up (now my mum looks after her while I'm at work). Now, if we're in the park, soft play etc, she always seems to be anxiously looking out for other kids, and if one starts to head in the direction she's heading, she runs quickly the other way. She won't go over to any play equipment where other children are. She's also 'shy' with adults, turning her head away if they come near her or try to talk to her. I was a shy child myself, and am still not good in social groups, but I really don't want my dd to go through life feeling how I felt (or labelled "shy" as its always used so negatively!)and want to try to help her/model ways of coping. I'm worried about when she'll have to be left at pre-school etc, how she'll cope - has anyone else had toddlers like this who've seen it get easier for them?

whomovedmychocolate Sun 09-Aug-09 20:48:06

DD was like that at two and she's still a bit reluctant to be without us (which is good btw) but she's nearly three now and will happily play as long as we are in sight and will talk to other children and adults spontaneously. You will be surprised how much they change in their second year, don't worry

nancy75 Sun 09-Aug-09 20:57:41

my dd was also like that at 2, the park was a nightmare, if any other child went near the swing/slide whatever she was on she would have to get off immediately or would get in a state, if an adult spoke to her she would hide her face or cry. we started her at preschool when she was just over 2.5 and the change was nothing short of a miracle. i was really worried that she would scream the place down, but i think just being those few months on made a diferance. she is 4 now and really confident with other children.

mammamia25 Tue 11-Aug-09 11:47:49

Thanks - its good to hear some positive stories! We had it again yesterday, where she really panicked when another toddler started to sit opposite her on a mini roundabout, and nearly badly fell in her scramble to get off. I've also noticed she uses her toy doll to say hello/wave to people, rather than doing it directly herself, which I hadn't expected children of this age to do. Saying "bye" is fine though!

LeninGrad Tue 11-Aug-09 11:49:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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