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Going insane 4.5 y old who won't get dressed !!

(7 Posts)
di101 Sun 02-Aug-09 09:41:19

I have a 4.5 year old daughter who has a major breakdown every time its time to get dressed morning and night. She says that everything tickles or is not right in a number of ways. I have tried letting her get dresses herself and have tried picking things out with her. But nothing works and now she wont even were pjs at night.
I don't think that it is a physical issue as once she is dressed it all seems fine.
I am wondering if soem sort of therapy would be a good idea as I feel like I am not coping very well I end up shouting and loosing my temper - but she just drives me made.
I am not being the mum I want to be, I just don't seem to have the pacience.
She just pushes all my buttons. I know its not just her so maybe some family therapy. Does anyone have any advice?

TrinityRhinoIsInDetention Sun 02-Aug-09 09:44:12

try not freesing her one morning at all
ask her to get dressed, when she says no
just dont do it

take her out naked, let her get a little chilly

see if it makes any difference, she may just be doing it to get a reactino

stuffitlllama Sun 02-Aug-09 09:48:11

agree with trinity

ignore, take her out in pjs or pants and vests and one sock and a hat or her fancy dress or whatever

let her get cold, wet (within reason!)

try it before you go to therapy! I think a lot go through this..

I had a non-shoe wearer who very quickly learned shoes were a good idea one October day when his toes turned a bit blue.

podsquash Wed 05-Aug-09 03:07:26

I have this issue occasionally with my DS (4.5). Getting dressed has always been a big big issue with him. No tips, sorry - I usually get him dressed to avoid the noise and fuss, frankly. But you aren't alone.

Acinonyx Wed 05-Aug-09 10:05:01

I dress and do my 4 yr-old dd's hair to Timmy Time in the morning (it's only 10 mins). Any funny business and off goes Timmy. It works for us!

muddleduck Wed 05-Aug-09 10:10:57

Agree with the others. DS1 (4) gets the choice of getting dressed properly or leaving the house naked. Any he know I would do it grin.

Sounds like there are some bigger issues here about you not being the sort of parent you want to be. Have you read any parenting books recently? Not that they have all the answers but they do make me think about the way I'm doing things. I like the "how to talk so your kids will listen..."

smee Wed 05-Aug-09 13:17:46

Sounds like a cycle to me too - but honestly lots and lots of kids go through this and you're not alone in losing it only human. fwiw, I'd say stay calm and matter of fact - Maybe tonight before bed time if she's in a good mood, get a treat and curl up with her, tell her tomorrow is going to be different. That mummy won't shout or get cross. Remind her gently that everyone has to get dressed, that's how life is - ask her maybe to think if she's ever seen anyone outside with no clothes on (ie put it into context). Offer maybe to help her get dressed if she's calm about it and co-operative, but not if she screetches. Then next morning be v.matter of fact and follow through. Walk away if she's moaning and don't engage with it. Give her as little attention as you can, and maybe offer a treat if she gets dressed without all the fuss. + I agree with the others, when you're ready to go out, she has to go dressed or not.

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