When do children understand about being grateful?

[ilikesunshine]

I'm getting really frustrated with DS1 who's 4 and going through a really obnoxious, ungrateful phase. If he gets a treat, it's not the right one, or his brother has a bigger one, or it's the wrong colour etc etc. This happens on numerous occasions throughout the day about all manner of things. Would you expect a 4 year old to understand about being grateful for what he's given? I'm finding his whole behaviour really exasperating at the moment.

[Portofino]

Well mine is 5.5 and she hasn't got it yet.

[stripes200]

7 year DD here....still waiting for thanks....

[AMumInScotland]

About 20?

But they learn to say "thank you" by about 10ish, even though I'm not sure most of them really feel much gratitude, they've learned to sound convincing.

[ilikesunshine]

Oh dear, it's getting older by the minute . Maybe I should chill out about it, since he's only 4! It's so annoying though - at the moment he comes across as a right little spoilt brat, not a good look for any mother's child!

[ABitBatty]

My DS2 aged 7.5 acts like a spoilt brat too. Whatever he gets it is never good enough/wrong size/wrong colour etc. If he gets a fiver he wants £10 I'm hoping he grows out of it! I don't remember DS1 being like that!

[muddleduck]

The day you become a grandparent!

[randomtask]

DSS is 8 and is sometimes grateful sometimes not. When I became his Mummy last year he was never grateful and had even asked his grandmother (who he lived with at that point) what she'd bought him when she came back from holiday before she got through the door. She found it funny. I told him (when she wasn't there)that it was quite hurtful as it would make her feel he only wanted her for presents.

He now gets less stuff bought for him and is less 'spoilt'. I bought him a £1.23 scrapbook on Monday, I was thanked twice (with excited jumping up and down). He still wasn't particularly grateful for all his birthday presents but to be fair, some weren't really things he liked.

So have hope! DSS is 8 and is grateful for things he likes. And if he's not grateful, he doesn't get given anything for a while ....

[FimbleHobbs]

My 2 year old DD quite often says thank you for things sometime after it and that 'thank you it was kind mummy to give me xyz'. (I sometimes suspect she'll grow out of this though)

4 year old DS though, will show excitement about gifts/treats ('Yippeeeeeeee!') but doesn't tend to be thoughtfully grateful, iyswim.

[mrshibbins]

8 yr old SD, on reaching the end of opening the heap of pressies we'd slaved to afford for her birthday this year, looked at me and her dad with a look of sneering amazment, and said "Is that IT?"

insert smiley that rolls eyes and sighs

[lynniep]

mmm. yes. about 20



I was an ungrateful little sod. V. immature.

Took me a very long time to realise my parents were there for anything other than to bail me out/buy me stuff/put up with my moods.

I realised around the same time they were just people too, plodding along doing their best. Before that they were simply 'my parents'

sorry!

[LovelyTinOfSpam]

Have to agree with muddleduck Im afraid...

They don't really get it til they have their own kids.

So about 33 by my reckoning...

Sorry!