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When did you talk to your DD about periods?

(42 Posts)
Barmymummy Wed 29-Jul-09 09:03:33

My DD is about to turn 7 and hasn't asked any questions really about how babies are made etc. I wasn't told anything about periods, sex or anything like that and I am determined that I will do this differently!

I want to be able to sit down and talk to her properly about starting periods and have her ask questions without any embarressment that will surely come if I leave it until she is older.

So, is she too young to be told yet and if not can you recommend any good books that are suitable for her age?

pointydog Wed 29-Jul-09 09:14:34

I had a chat with them when they were 8, well in advance of the subject coming up at school.

TrinityRhinoIsInDetention Wed 29-Jul-09 09:18:59

dd1 has known about periods and sex for a few years now
it came gradually as she saw me using the bathroom and asked me questions
she is 9

mankyscotslass Wed 29-Jul-09 09:19:07

DD is 5 and already knows that mummy bleeds once a month and that it's something that will happen to her as she gets older and that it's a sign her body is maturing.

Both the boys already know what happens to me once a month too, and not just because of my awful PMT, blush.

It's something that's just sort of grown from them having to go to the loo with me at various times, (I have awful memories of the youngest screaming "mummy you are bleeding to death" while in the public loos at Knowsley Safari Park, and my daughter yelling at him " don't be silly, mummy is just on her period, don't you know anything!"), and them asking questions about toiletries and stuff.

So I think for us the answer has just been to make it part of a normal discussion.

I'm not sure about books though there have been a few recommended I think on here before.

CheeryCherry Wed 29-Jul-09 09:22:37

Around 9 too here, well before school does it, not particuarly the sex talk, more periods and changes. Recommend an usbourne book 'what's happening to me?', theres one for girls and one for boys.

suwoo Wed 29-Jul-09 09:22:50

She's known since about two or three, but the actual facts she knows have evolved over time.

She is 7.5 now and knows more of the biological facts about womb linings etc, rather than just that ladies 'get blood' every month.

foofi Wed 29-Jul-09 09:23:44

They do it at school when they're about 10. There are children who start their periods around the age of 8 apparently, but we're late developers in my family so I didn't see the need to talk to them in advance of that grin.

dd1 doesn't like to talk to me about things like that whereas dd2 asks endless questions and talks about everything!

Heathcliffscathy Wed 29-Jul-09 09:23:45

i think he was 3 and saw me putting a tampon in (i've never shut him out of the bathroom).

he knows that my body gets ready to make a cosy place for a baby every month and if there isn't a baby then the lining comes out.

agree that it's part of what unrolls naturally as we live together, he sees me naked/in bath with him/on loo all the time and asks questions.

pointydog Wed 29-Jul-09 09:29:38

Must admit, I've avoided faffing about changing tampons when the dds are about. That's one thing I wouldn't do.

foofi Wed 29-Jul-09 09:32:41

Me too pointydog - lol at all those talking to their toddlers about periods shock

TrinityRhinoIsInDetention Wed 29-Jul-09 09:38:31

why is it funny
it just makes it something normal
I'm glad my dds wont be worried about changing a tampon infront of their children

BlueKangerooWonders Wed 29-Jul-09 09:39:13

my dd went to the library with dh and got herself a book! (I was at work) This was at age 7 and a half-ish. She's since got the same book out again, and asks me questions about it (and even wrote one down as she didn't want to say it out loud!).

So 7 or 8 is about right I would think, and a book to 'share' might mean you don't forget the important things.

mankyscotslass Wed 29-Jul-09 09:43:27

Sometimes you have no choice! grin

Or that just might be me and my having to change every 1-2 hours for 3 days of my cycle.

I'm not sure how I would feel about them seeing me use a tampon, I've had to use towels since I had my eldest, <boak>, but they have certainly had to see me use the loo when wearing towels before, it would have been impossible to avoid.

I don't think for some weird reason I would be as comfortable letting them see me use a tampon. Does that mean I have some weird hang ups after all???

And I kind of feel that if I make a big deal out of it and not let them see then I make it into a secret, which I am not comfortable with really.

pointydog Wed 29-Jul-09 09:47:34

I've never made a big deal of it, I never lock the door (or maybe I have occasionally as they have got older). We still see each other on the toilet, in the shower etc. I'm not sure how I've done it really.

rasputin Wed 29-Jul-09 09:56:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KingCanuteIAm Wed 29-Jul-09 10:03:33

Foofi/trinity, if you make something normal then it becomes normal why on earth not make it normal?

And why "lol"?

TBH I have used that approach and it has lead to a teen who is happy to discuss all things female with me - exactly the situation most mothers strive for.

NervousNutty Wed 29-Jul-09 10:03:47

Dd1 was 10. She'd never asked anything before so I hadn't said anything.

I told her because she'd been having stomach ache on and off and I thought it might be the start of something, but it wasn't. She is 11 and a half now.

She found my tampon in a cup of water demonstration most amusing grin

titchy Wed 29-Jul-09 10:36:37

Open bathroom policy here - so both dd and ds were told when they were pre-school age. The alternative was having them continue to think I'd poo-ed in my 'nappy'... grin

FranSanDisco Wed 29-Jul-09 10:58:46

Dd is now 8 yo and I have chatted about periods since she was 5 yo ish. Questions about tampons such as 'why do you have blue string in your bum?' blush sort of raised the subject. As she's got older I provide a little more info. Ds is 6 yo and listens in. I'd rather he be aware as my brother came home from school swings a tampon (unused) on his finger when he was about 10 yo and asked my mum what it was. She said @throw it away it may radio-active' - of all the replies how the hell did she come up with that shock.

TrinityRhinoIsInDetention Wed 29-Jul-09 11:27:53

canute you've confused me, easily done I know grin

the normal normal sentence

KingCanuteIAm Wed 29-Jul-09 14:42:32

grin yeah I did wonder if that was one of those things that would only make sense to me!

I meant, periods are something that are normal for women, well the vast majority of them! Therefore why not normalise them by being open about it from the beginning IYSWIM, if a child has known about periods on some level as long as they can remember then it will be no big deal when it comes round to their turn or the bigger conversations that need to happen....

danthe4th Wed 29-Jul-09 15:03:59

Both my girls were 9/10 plenty early enough, they both started their periods age 12 and we have a very open talk attitude but I don't think its really necessary for them to have seen me changing a tampon for that to have happened. They have very graphic videos at school these days in year5/6 and that brought about some very interesting conversations often quite amusing.They have asked questions over the years which I always answered honestly but lacking great detail until they have been old enough to take it all on board.

mankyscotslass Wed 29-Jul-09 15:07:45

Canute, that's how I feel.

I don't want my DD to feel she can't talk about it or should hide away. It's normal and part of life, which is why I have never hidden it from any of them.

It's not a topic for everyday discussion, but if they ask they get told, and they do ask if they see things. I don't want to have to sit down with any of them and have "the talk", and have that come as a surprise, I want it to be a natural progression as they grow and ask more questions and are ready for more detailed answers.

cheesesarnie Wed 29-Jul-09 15:14:20

open bathroom policy here too- so all 3 know mummy bleeds once a month.if they ask questions(which ofcourse they do),they get answers.

id rather be open than have to do a big talk at whatever age.

itwasntme Wed 29-Jul-09 15:17:49

DD was five when I told her what periods are, but she has been aware of me faffing about with tampons before then.

I agree with King Canute. Far better that children are aware early about periods and babies, etc, to avoid embarrasment later on when it really becomes relevant.

My Mum was so crap at this, and it made me too embarrased to tell her even when I did start my periods. It wasn' t till I eventually told her that I got the talk, I can still remember how excruciating it was.

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