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DS (age 7) is constantly negative and grumpy - what to do?

(7 Posts)
chablis Mon 27-Jul-09 18:53:00

He really IS....

He always sees the worst in everything:

e.g.

Me: "Hope you have fun at football club today"

DS "I won't - it'll be really boring and the coaches will be horrible, and I won't know anyone" (even though I told him his best friend is going)

And when he gets in a tizz about something he just won't listen - always keeps shouting, "no, but" and "it WON'T" or something similar.

He seems to have got himself into a habit of being angry and negative about everything and all the strategies I've tried don't seem to work

kneedeepinthedirtylaundry Mon 27-Jul-09 20:22:49

That must make you feel sad chablis. Perhaps he knows how to pull on mum's heartstrings? I know my 4 y o DS knows already that being negative and on a downer will get him a lot of attention from me. What strategies are you using?

chablis Mon 27-Jul-09 21:42:47

We've tried the breezily brushing it off (i.e. don't acknowledge/ reward the complaining)

We've tried star charts for rewarding positive attitude to things

we've tried "You have to say two good things before you complain about a bad thing"

We've tried ignoring and walking away ("Mummy doesn't likw hearing you complaining all the time")

We've tried earlier to bed in case it's because he's tired

We've tried the "How to talk to kids so they'll listen" (or whatever it's called!) approach - "yes darling, I can see that you might feel x&Y but it could be z....."

kneedeepinthedirtylaundry Tue 28-Jul-09 22:59:11

Exhausting. Poor you. It sounds like you've tried everything you can think of and are very frustrated now. Hope you manage to find a strategy that works.

Mumcentreplus Tue 28-Jul-09 23:04:23

aww chab..they can be negative little rat-bags..but positivity is key...make sure you find the positive in everything they do..there's always something...my DD1 can be just like that she's 7 too

elliott Tue 28-Jul-09 23:08:43

What about 'thanks for letting me know about that' and then changing the subject?
Or why not just give it a rest for a while and focus on being nice to him? And lots of noticing when he is cheerful/positive?
I dunno really, ds1 can be a bit like this, just not all the time (thankfully!) Sometimes I think the root cause is that he doesn't feel he's getting enough attention.

kikid Tue 28-Jul-09 23:31:22

is he bored
is he tired
whats his diet like
are school concerned

He sounds like a 7 yr old going through/testing phase. Very trying for you too..
lots of attention & praise may work?
good luck

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