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urgently need a toddler taming book or something like that...

(10 Posts)
margobambino Sun 26-Jul-09 00:30:37

Otherwise I will need to ask my doctor to increase my SSRI dose . My 25 months old DS who is, it seems, extremely spoilt has been making me very angry over the last couple of months. He is very disobedient and definitely doesn't understand anything when he is punished.
Please help me. What can I do? What can I read?

hairymelons Sun 26-Jul-09 00:58:38

Can you be any more specific about your son's behaviour? And what kinds of punishment you are talking about?
If you're after book recommendations, the House of Tiny Tearaways book is v good. And What to Expect the Toddler Years has been handy too.

margobambino Sun 26-Jul-09 01:20:50

Thanks hairymelons, I will give an example. We have a quite sharp wall edge in the hall. As he had an accident there before we covered that edge with foam. He keeps removing the foam and even I explained why we put it there very nicely he does it again. Today I finally said, he should not remove it other wise I would punish him.He went there and remove it looking into my eyes at the same time. I took him to his room, left the door open but closed the safety gate. Told him that he is going to stay there 10 minutes and asked him to think about what he did in the mean time. He cried, shouted, got angry, etc. When he got very angry I went to the safety gate and told him how much he is going to stay there and reminded him why. After 10 mins, I opened the safety gate but as soon as it's opened he went there and did it again.
Now I am a bit calmer and thinking may be he doesn't understand? Maybe this punishment was a bit hard for his age?
I rarely punish him. Probably this one was 2nd or 3rd in his whole life He is being looked after his grannies who do not have any idea what boundaries are.
Other examples; running in inappropriate places, running when holding an object which can be dangerous if he falls on it, etc etc. Important point is he never listens whatever say to warn him or explain why I don't want him to do that.

Allegrogirl Sun 26-Jul-09 09:37:59

I found Toddler Taming useful. I think the title is misleading as it is more about understanding toddlers and what to expect from them. It does have gentle discipline ideas but it really is about picking your battles. The tone it's written in can be annoying at times but I find it helps me get things in perspective when dd is driving me nuts.

TrinityRhinoHasASillyStepson Sun 26-Jul-09 09:43:40

maybe the punishment was too much for his age

also if you've only done it two or three times then he hasn't learnt what its all about yet....maybe

FlamongoBongo Sun 26-Jul-09 09:44:44

Try How To Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk by Faber & Mazlish.

margobambino Sun 26-Jul-09 13:32:05

TrinityRhinoHasASillyStepson, I thought the same later last night. I think it was too much for his age. Allegrogirl and FlamongoBongo, I will be reading those books you mentioned.

nannynick Sun 26-Jul-09 14:14:36

Toddler Taming by Christopher Green is good. 123 Magic is also a good method to use with regard to discipline.

hairymelons Mon 27-Jul-09 12:20:58

Sorry it's taken a while to get back. The behaviour sounds like fairly normal toddler stuff (someone said to me recently that having a toddler was like having a incontinent teenager with no social skills!) and I always find it hard to know what's the best thing to do at the time.
The punishment does sound a bit much for his age, I agree there. I was told 1 minute of time out for each year of their life so that would be 2 minutes for your LO. Any of the books mentioned above will have far better advice than I could offer but let us know how it goes. Good luck!

choufleur Mon 27-Jul-09 12:25:14

haven't got advice re books but you need to make sure you praise him when he is being good and comment on things that he is doing that you want him to do, as well as punishing behaviour that you don't want.

everything i've seen says 1 min per year so 10 mins is too long.

you need to be consistent too - if you say no you have to mean it.

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