potty training tears

[FOZZ]

I have only just started potty training my DS who will be 2.6 yrs next week. Thing is I have read up on the signs he might be ready but nothing seems to say - "okay time out - he/ she clearly isnt ready" and I need some advice. Up till now he can tell me when he is pooing though not before hand and not consistently and he has no idea re weeing. I tried him in pants he has no idea until he has done it. Gets very upset and says 'I spill it mummy'. I try to watch him closely but he is weeing 3 or 4 times an hour - (just little bits obviously) and always tells me after the event. I keep putting him on the potty as soon as I can but often too late. Am I putting too much pressure on us both or do i just keep going?

[FickleFairy]

Hi Fozz,

I say leave it for a while.

My DS is 2yr 3 months and he is showing all the signs of being ready and my mum in particular keeps making little remarks to train him, and to be honest, I am delaying it a little as got a few parties etc over next couple of weeks so think easier to keep him in nappies.

However, although I was (sort of still am) convinced he is ready, a couple of weeks ago I had to take him to a and e and they wanted a wee sample from him and we were there hours as he would not do one on the potty, he had drunk loads and his bladder was so full and the nurse showed me how to massage it to get him to go etc but he was getting himself in such a state! In the end I took him off potty and he did it on the bed! They swabbed it from there though so at least they got what they needed.

What this did do though is make me thing there is no rush at all and not to put extra pressure on you both.

Yes there will be accidents but if these are constant and he's getting distressed and you don't feel like you've moved forward over a few days then I say leave it.

I have Gina Ford's Potty Training book and there is a bit in there that says if you cant see any improvement after about 3 days then the time isn't right.

Hope this helps!

[maggievirgo]

My three and a half year old son is being potty trained today. He is resisting furiously, he's tried to find nappies and put one on himself. He isn't going to be bought by buttons or jellies. Potty is pristine and there's wee all over the floor.

We're through four pairs of shorts today already.

The 3 day thing is interesting. So, as bad as it is, I won't even think about giving up 'til tuesday morning.

2 and a bit is very young. The older generation seem to think there are medals being handed out somewhere for early training.

[FickleFairy]

Hi Maggie,

All i hear from my Mum all the time is that me and my sister were trained at 15 and 16 months respectively. I keep telling her that we might have been "dry" but that isn't the same as actually being trained to know what is going on etc but you know what they can be like.

DS always goes to a quiet spot for a poo and if Mum is here she insists on pointing this out EVERY TIME as a sign he is ready to be trained, like I don't see that he does this when she isn't around to inform me

I do think nowadays it is done a lot later when the child fully understand what is going on, additionally, I know this may infuriate some people as may sound sexist, but I do think boys are ready for this later than girls, only a generalisation, just going on friends and family I have witnessed.

I still think you can expect accidents on Day 3 and onwards, she specifically says "no improvement".

Sending you lots of luck and a huge bundle of patience!

Let us know how you get on.

[maggievirgo]

My mum is the same, but in those days (well, I was born in early 70s, they had pampers but they were so expensive that people only used them for travelling)... if you had to wash poo and wee off terry nappies anyway, then I guess it made no difference whether they were washing it off a blanket or a floor or chair!!!

He is now sitting on the potty in his underpants watching fireman sam dvd. That is progress! he was angry at the sight of the potty 2 hours ago.

I know they say that you should take them straight to the loo after 3, but he became hysterical when I tried to put him on the loo (even with step up and insert)

[canttouchthis]

shineon is right, my DS is 2.4 and although he can sit on his trainer seat on the toilet, he hasn't peed in it yet or done a poo, but he's getting there. Not quite ready, but sitting on it because he wants to, not because he is being forced. I'm sure he'll fully grasp it in his own time, until then we're happy with what he's doing even if he's not wearing pants yet (still in nappies).

It's not a potty race, even though the older generation seem to think it still is!

[maggievirgo]

About 36 hours since my last post and my son has now done a fair few wees in the potty. He even did a poo earlier. So........ progress, I will keep going. He's had a few accidents too mind you! I think a little bit of wee dribbles out every couple of minutes, to his surprise as much as anybody else's you know!?

Today was better than yesterday though. And it was only day 2.

Still, I left it long enough ... He wasn't ready before though.

[FickleFairy]

Good news Maggie. x

[Annya]

Exactly the same here with 2.4 DS. Tells me he is doing or has done a wee and a poo but not beforehand.

I tried to get him to sit on the potty every 30 mins or so, bribing with him stories, and once or twice he weed in it but I think it was just coincidence.

He then started getting very anti potty, trying to get me to put a nappy back on him so I have let it slide for a bit.

[troutpout]

gawd..leave it. He's still so little.
Wait till he really doesn't want to be in a nappy anymore.
it would save a lot of upset for you both