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New here, would appreciate your comments? So worried....

(32 Posts)
WonderBundlesMommy Tue 21-Jul-09 16:02:59

Hi there, I'm new to MN and would appreciate your comments....the question I guess is should I be as worried as I am? (Which is very).

Our 14 month old son, Nash, doesn't say any real words yet or point to things. He will reach for something if it is in front of him - ie. his cup or a cracker; but no actual pointing either for wants or to share an interest. He will bring me things from across the room to show me though. Everyone tells me he should call us something by now, and have a few words at least. He does not mimic sounds I make, but likes it when I mimic his (ie. "Bo" is a big one). He responds to his name about 50% of the time - when he is not absorbed in doing something he finds more interesting.

He is otherwise happy, friendly and loves to entertain. People often comment on how happy a baby he is. He took his first steps on his first birthday but still prefers crawling - though he can walk across a room (wobbly) on his own and walk well holding one of my fingers. He can climb up stairs and has great fine motor skills (can pile 6 or 7 blocks in a tower, feeds himself finger foods well, etc.).

He was born 2 weeks early by emergency c-section. I nursed exclusively for 13 months. He has had zero health problems, is very tall for his age and slightly above average weight.

He babbles, says dada and mama but not specifically meaning daddy or mommy, just general dadadadada noises. The only thing he says a couple of times each day is "tekow" but it doesn't seem to refer to anything, as hard as I try to see something consistent.

I called our health service to inquire and they immediately put me on a list for early intervention. I was not as worried until this happened. Their comments about trying to get us pushed up on the 6 month wait list scared me as they were expressing an urgency to get him assessed for ASD. Now I am worried.....

Any comments would be appreciated....

CatIsSleepy Tue 21-Jul-09 16:05:56

right, as far as I remember dd1 didn't really have any proper words til she was around 17 months
then they came thick and fast and now at 3 she will barely shut up
14 months is still quite young I think

muddleduck Tue 21-Jul-09 16:07:43

sounds like he is exactly where ds2 was at this age - a happy healthy fab (and perfectly normal) little boy!

pagwatch Tue 21-Jul-09 16:09:46

I am not sure what kind of comments you are looking for tbh.But I will try...

I have a son with ASD. But no two children with ASD are alike. 14 months old does not seem especially late to be talking - I have usually regarded no words by two as a good point at which to investiagte. He is bringingthings to you too which is good but it is totally impossible to get an idea of a childs likely diagnosis over the internet. I could list DS2s behaviours and he would sound fine or list others and he would sound very affected.

But to be honest getting an assessment early is a no lose situtaion isn't it. I understand you are anxious but hgetting seen quickly will either clear yopu of any concerns or allow you to look at ways of getting postive support while he is young and most responsive to help.

CowWatcher Tue 21-Jul-09 16:11:02

Really, don't worry. Congratulations on having such a charming sounding little boy. He will get there in his own good time, sounds like he's busy learning other things and hasn't yet got round to the talking thing. If he's responding to you saying his name, sounds good to me. I reckon the repeating the sounds he makes to you is good too. I did that loads with my DD (now 5) and she's a very chatty creature. Ignore those around you being disparaging.

shonaspurtle Tue 21-Jul-09 16:12:23

He sounds like my ds. He's now 2.9 and while speech isn't his best thing, he's chattering away intelligibly (most of the time) and meeting the usual milestones.

iirc it's 16-18 months which is the point where they should be showing shared attention, pointing etc. I know that seems just around the corner but ds really picked up all that stuff quite suddenly around 15/16 months.

It's good to be on a waiting list in case they do need to check things out but it doesn't mean that there's anything wrong.

chuckeyegg Tue 21-Jul-09 16:19:04

DS had no words until after 18 months and still ignores 50% plus of the time. I'm amazed your health visitor referred you I went to see them when DS was 18 months and they would do nothing until he was 2 years.

If you get support now and everything is fine thats great. If there is a slight problem best to get them looked at now and have the support to give him any extra help he may need.

he sounds lovely

Good luck xx

WonderBundlesMommy Tue 21-Jul-09 16:20:08

Thank you...I guess I was taken aback because although so many people were telling me he should have some words at least for his dad and I and should be pointing, I wasn't overly concerned and just thought he was busy working on other things. Then when I called the health service their level of concern heightened mine....which is why I'm searching for feedback as to exactly how worried I should be that there is something wrong?

PrincessToadstool Tue 21-Jul-09 16:28:46

He sounds completely normal to me. My DS wasn't saying anything at 14 months - babbling, yes, but not calling me/DP anything or using words - he began pointing at around 15 months so again sounds fine.

pagwatch Tue 21-Jul-09 16:32:10

it is a strange old condition. DS2 was talking at 14 months and then lost all his words at 18 months and is very severe. So take the assessment and try not to worry until you get something firm iyswim smile

<<Pag goes away to wonder about the use of the word 'normal' >>

Supercherry Tue 21-Jul-09 16:41:50

He sounds like he's doing just fine to me. 14mths is very young to be concerned about speech, especially as he's babbling away and is communicating non-verbally. I always thought of 2 as the point at which to worry also, although I would probably be worried if there were literally no words at 18mths.

muddleduck Tue 21-Jul-09 17:10:48

How much does he understand?

When DS2 was later than his brother at talking I was reassured by the fact that he understood so much. To me this ruled out a few things like hearing problems. In the end I just concluded that he wasn't that bothered by learning to talk - he was way ahead in other areas and much more interested in physical stuff. Whereas DS1 leared to talk to get what he wanted DS2 just got up and got things for himself. Although he is still behind where DS1 was at his age (in speaking only) I'm happy that things are moving on at the pace that is right for him.

EzrasMummy Tue 21-Jul-09 17:56:04

My son didnt talk properly until he was well over 2. hes now a very bright boy. Its good theyre doing the assesment though, just to put your mind at rest.

WonderBundlesMommy Tue 21-Jul-09 18:21:15

How much does he understand is a good question Muddleduck.

Sometimes I think he seems to understand things well. He will hand me the monkey or giraffe or kitty or train sometimes when I ask for them. Maybe 50% of the time. But sometimes he seems like he is in another world, won't even respond when you call his name, let alone hand me something. DH says he is simply more interested in whatever he's doing, but we both wonder now. He will wake up at the tiniest sound in the night and responds to sounds like the phone ringing or cat meowing often, so we think his hearing is ok. But when he is in that other zone, he seems to completely tune out everything else.

Since he doesn't point, I can't ask him to point to things, which would help me know a little better how much he understands. Incidentally, I read to him almost constantly and he loves books. I have not stopped pointing out things and talking to him basically since birth. I have made photo books and all that good stuff. The nice people at the grocery store think I am slightly off my rocker as I label everything for him and point it out as we go through. So I am modelling those things, but he doesn't copy me at all yet.

I can't thank you all enough for your words of reassurance and for the good information. If there is something wrong I know it's good that we find out and get early intervention, I just never thought there was anything really wrong before and the fact that the health service found it so concerning has really caused me some anxiety. It is hard to know how much I should be worried and it really helps to have the perspectives of other mums...thank you....

shonaspurtle Tue 21-Jul-09 19:42:18

Baby Talk by Sally Ward might be a good book for you to have a look at.

It's got lots of suggestions on how to enjoy playing and being with your ds in ways that will encourage speech and communication.

drowninginclutter Tue 21-Jul-09 19:52:44

Sounds exactly like my DS (just under 14 months) apart from the fact his favourite sound is 'ba' not 'bo' and he's not quite walking yet.

He will roll a ball to the person who's asking for it sometimes but mostly he just does what he's interested in doing.

I always thought he was perfectly normal smile. Quite a few babies the same age as him have a few words but plenty don't.

reducedfatkettlechip Tue 21-Jul-09 21:10:06

wonder, I have 2 ds', ds1 (almost 4) with probable ASD/language disorder and ds2 (23 mths) who so far seems NT (neurotypical). Pagwatch is so right in saying that no two children with ASD are alike, but I remember pointing and labelling everything for ds1 at a similar age, and being so puzzled at how it didn't seem to be going in. It was as if his language absorption just didn't switch on until he was about 2 1/2, he didn't say mummy properly until then. He was always a smiley, engaging little boy, and still is. He hit all milestones other than those related to language development.

I don't remember when he started pointing, I think it was about 12-18 months when pointing, waving and clapping started. He was very late to do protodeclarative pointing (where they look at you while pointing elsewhere, to check you are looking.) There is a test called the CHAT which is designed to be carried out at 18 months - this focusses on the milestones which are specific to ASD.

ds2 has been totally different. He spoke at 11 months, pointed, clapped and waved before he turned one, and wants to share attention constantly. I only have to say a word a couple of times and he's got it, and is using it. He has lots of verbs and speaks in 4-5 word sentences. He's very demanding compared with ds1!

Lots of people on here will want to reassure you, and fingers crossed it will just click into place with your ds. He still has several months to be within "normal" range to gain language and pointing skills. However, I always had a niggling feeling that things weren't right with ds1, and once I realised that things wasn't improving on their own (when ds1 reached about 22 months) I would have given anything to receive the kind of help they're offering your ds. Take it, it can only do your ds good. If you need more help, the ladies on the SN board are really clued up on ASD and will be able to help you through this.

reducedfatkettlechip Tue 21-Jul-09 21:12:48

wonder, just a thought, are you in the US?

lingle Tue 21-Jul-09 22:49:29

I was asking myself the same question Kettle - can this really be the same country we live in? Hi Wonder, my son has problems similar to Kettlechip's. It's very unusual to refer a child who's thriving like yours at 14 months in the UK. Usually you are ignored until they are 3 then if it hasn't sorted itself out the day after their third birthday you get told it's all a big crisis <sigh>

WonderBundlesMommy Wed 22-Jul-09 00:42:36

No, not US, I am in Canada.

I found my way here through a friend who said this site (and UK in general) was very compatible with my particular views on baby care, etc.

I thought it was interesting that most responses seemed to think it was early for concern, as when I talked to our health service, they seemed to treat me as though I should have been seeking help significantly earlier. I do think they are too rigid here in terms of early expectations in general, but it is really nice to get the third party perceptions.

I guess all I can do now is wait for the assessment. Like Reducedfatkettlechips, my DS is meeting all of the other milestones except language related - if you call the absence of pointing language related.

I cannot thank you all enough for the thoughts & comments, sometimes I get so wrapped up when I'm anxious about something that it helps to have other perspectives. You ladies are wonderful!

lingle Wed 22-Jul-09 09:56:33

Wonderbundles, 14 months is as early as it could possibly be. Stanley Greenspan (who has a very family-centred approach despite being a renowed doctor and is in the US) says we should be asking mums "how does he show you what he wants?" at the 18 months check and he did further studies using 2 years as his cutoff point. What he is looking for is complex pre-verbal communication such as dragging the parent to a shut door to get it open, pointing, grunting, etc. He also says that the cornerstone of any "therapy" is spontaneous, joyful interactions between parent and child. So do try your best not to let this affect your relationship with your little boy.

MoonchildNo6 Wed 22-Jul-09 12:23:44

Way, way too early for concern I think.

DS2 said next to nothing until 17 months and by 18 months I couldn't shut him up! He is 22 months now and has great vocab and putting sentences together (well I can hear them at least grin).

General advice I think is about an average of 50 words by the age of 2 so quite a while before you should be concerned and even this is really vague.

lingle Wed 22-Jul-09 14:08:22

It's not the "not talking" that matters, it's the "not pointing".

You won't hear many stories saying "my son didn't point until he was three and he had no problems".

You will however hear thousands saying "my son didn't talk until X date and he's had no issues".

The pointing's the point IYSWIM.

growingout Wed 22-Jul-09 14:15:40

Message withdrawn

muddleduck Thu 23-Jul-09 10:23:59

I agree with lingle.

Ds2 was a late talker, but had excellent non-verbal communication.

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