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3 month old screaming for what seems like hours... Help please

(66 Posts)
Roopoo Sat 18-Jul-09 09:54:40


I have a 13 week old DD. She sleeps through from around 9pm until 7.15 am with a dream feed at 11pm. BUT

After being told be everyone that after 12 weeks the crying stops our DD seems to cry more. I think that it is when she is over tired.

For example

Yesterday she kept on waking up and crying during her afternoon nap. Ended up getting her up at around 4pm. She seemed hungry so fed her then she cried on and off for the rest of the day resulting in us putting her to bed at 7.30 as she looked knackered and was crying. Cue screaming for an hour and a half until she fell asleep. Once asleep she slept through until morning...

This is my first DC so am not very good at the whole motherhood thing yet. Is it normal for babies to scream themselves to sleep.?? Is this a development thing that might stop naturally...

Usually I can read signs and rush her upstairs for a nap.. But it's getting to the point now where I can't leave the house at all as if I miss a nap time she screams and screams and won't settle to sleep.....

So I end up being stuck in the house a lot with a baby that screams all afternoon and evening.
Just wondered if anybody had any advice as we are susposed to be going away for a family weekend next week and I petrified that if we don't stick to her exact routine she will just scream all weekend...

calypsoblue Sat 18-Jul-09 11:11:57

sounds like colic ,have you tried infacol drops ,does she have a dummy?I resisted giving my son a dummy but when i did it helped him relax so much I figured it was worth Is stressful and will be good to go on family holiday as there will be more people to pass your baby to when she starts to cry. Also sleeping tiger posistion can help,lying baby length ways along your arm.

calypsoblue Sat 18-Jul-09 11:14:55

At this stage dont worry about routine too much try to go with the flow

reikizen Sat 18-Jul-09 11:22:37

go with the flow, don't worry about a routine. do what you need to at the time. A sling and frequent walks with the pram kept me sane with dd1. Also a spin in the car to a friend's house (they usually behave like angels).

Roopoo Sat 18-Jul-09 11:27:58

Thanks Ladies xxx

Yep she has a dummy... Think that could be part of the problem as she tends to spit it out in her sleep and then wake up straight away screaming with fury at not having her dummy This can continue for a couple of hours each night to lol!!!

nannynz Sat 18-Jul-09 11:38:13

Good on you for picking up "her" routine. How long does she stay awake for, perhaps you could put her down for a nap before she shows signs of tiredness. Most babies at this age manage about two hours tops of awake time before naps. I've found if they fall asleep before they are actually tired they nap better.

Does she sleep in the pram, might be a good idea to go for a walk during one of her naps. Make her pram like a little cocoon and have a cover over the front helps block out the stimuli. I always plan a pram nap for a coffee break for me.

Roopoo Sat 18-Jul-09 11:56:20

Thanks for the advice nannynz

Roopoo Sat 18-Jul-09 20:09:35

If anybody is there any tips would so much appreciated,

DD is tired, she is absolutely knackered her eyes can't stay open... put her in her cot an hour ago and she has screamed and screamed and screamed ever since...

It's all the time... It's getting to the point where I just can't take it any more... Our house is so small and it's this ear pearcing scream and I've found being a mum so hard anyways and everyone kept on saying that once it got to 12 weeks then everything would get easier well it hasn't she's 13 weeks and if anything this is the worst it has ever been ......

if anybody knows of any tips please .....

HumphreyCobbler Sat 18-Jul-09 20:13:46

Go to a cranial osteopath.

I was advised to do this by cargirl and it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

It is worth it just to ensure that nothing is causing your lo any discomfort/pain. I would do it as a matter of course for any future baby I had.

nannynz Sun 19-Jul-09 01:59:35

What does she do if you just hold her, will she fall asleep earlier and with less crying.

With one of my fussier babies I know I went through a few weeks of just holding him in a dark room and just catching up on rest myself. It won't be forever but it sure does feel like it. After a few weeks he was sleeping better and more relaxed and then I could get him to sleep in his cot. I was also made sure he did not miss naps. I'm a big wimp when it comes to baby's crying, sometimes I do let them a little but if it goes over 15 mins especially if I can't work out a reason then I will hold them. Or hold them and if I feel stressed then will put them down. Also I make sure I do big deep, relaxing breaths so they don't pick up any stress.

Is she BF or bottle fed? You could try infacol or colief. How much and how long is she feeding, and if bottle fed what bottles/formula is she using?

Also what is her daytime like, I know you're following her routine but perhaps it could be rejigged some. Is she smiling and alert at times during the day?

I'm a maternity nurse, so even though I not a mum, I do give advice to many Mums about what is normal for a baby and to see if any "problems" as such can be sorted.

It can seem pretty awlful but most likely it's just gonna be a matter of time before things settle.

StarlightMcKenzie Sun 19-Jul-09 02:29:51

Message withdrawn

seeker Sun 19-Jul-09 06:21:35

What happens if you feed her? She might very well suddenly need more food at this stage - it's classic growth spurt time.

When in doubt offer milk was my motto.

Roopoo Sun 19-Jul-09 11:28:18

Hiya Ladies

Thanks for the advice.. Her routine is roughly as follows

First feed 7.15 am (then she goes back to sleep until 10.15am)

I get her up then play and dress her and then 2nd feed at 11.00am

She generally goes for an hours nap at around 12 noon

Afternoons are tricky.. She has her next feed at around 2.30 -3.00 then if we are lucky she will nap for a couple of hours but she fights it as long as she can..

Next feed 5.30 - then we have bath time and ready for bed time... last feed around 8.30 and then put her down to bed and thats when the screaming starts....

She generally falls asleep when she has cried for an hour or so and then we give her a dream feed at 11pm

she is FF.. but recently screams through a lot of her feeds throwing her head from side to side fighting the bottle... She is generally really good at bringing up her wind..and is putting on weight OK....

calypsoblue Sun 19-Jul-09 11:28:21

Have you tried music or putting the vacuum cleaner on, these songs worked for me i used to put the pram in front of the computer and play them to ds

They are two songs by a group called nickleback,dont particularily like the songs but i think they have a droning kind of sound that seemed to relax him,hes 13 months now and they still work!!grin

Roopoo Sun 19-Jul-09 11:29:42

I do try and offer a feed when she is crying to make sure she isnt hungry and sometimes that can make her scream even more - almost like she is outraged that I could even presume she wanted another feed

calypsoblue Sun 19-Jul-09 11:30:45

Have you tried music or putting the vacuum cleaner on, these songs worked for me i used to put the pram in front of the computer and play them to ds

They are two songs by a group called nickleback,dont particularily like the songs but i think they have a droning kind of sound that seemed to relax him,hes 13 months now and they still work!!

not sure if that worked trying to add the link for you

Roopoo Sun 19-Jul-09 11:31:27

Tried the hoover which makes her scream louder - might try nickleback!!! Im not a fan but if it's work then I'd love em for life ha ha ha

StarlightMcKenzie Sun 19-Jul-09 11:54:12

Message withdrawn

nannynz Sun 19-Jul-09 11:59:52

It could be reflux, perhaps talk to Doc/health visitor about treatment.

Sometimes when wiggling about with the bottle they need the next size teat up.

Also I'd try doing bath at 5.30ish then bottle then into bed, perhaps if she's asleep by 7pm then she'll sleep through the 8.30pm crying.

Another thing I'd try, is to keep her awake for a bit in the early morning so she sleeps longer at midday and then she may not be as upset in the avo.

With my colicky baby, it was a matter of getting him to sleep before the bad hours started, it worked that if he was asleep before he'd not cry. So we aimed for a 7pm bed time.

Most of my babies at his age do this routine:
7am feeding, then awake time
9-11am napping
11am feeding and awake time
1-3pm napping
3pm feeding and awake time
another short nap less then 30 mins before 5.30pm
6pm bath/bedtime routine including feed
7pm bed
10ishpm dream feed or not depending on choice of parents

Not all my babies do this. Usually I find the more they fight sleep the more they need it so I spend a few days concentrating on the time when they have difficulty falling asleep. For this I find prams really good, I'll walk and walk until they sleep.

Also I usually work on one part of the day at once as usually when that's "fixed" it helps with the other parts.

I would probably concentrate on the bed time routine first. And I know heaps of people don't like the word "routine" but most people probably do have their own routine even if it's not right down to the hour. But I find it really helpful and work with the babies natural rhythm and the family routine so it works for everyone. Keep posting cos that helps too.

Roopoo Sun 19-Jul-09 12:38:26

Thank you so much nannynz... Definately going to give this a go x

Roopoo Mon 20-Jul-09 08:47:49

Nannynz Please could I have your advice on a couple of questions...

I am trying to keep her awake more but after getting her up at 7am for her first feed she was tired again at 8.15 so I have put her down in the crib to nap... Will that make the rest of the day wrong on times now...

Also there are a couple of baby classes that I would like to go too but one is at 10am and one at 1.30 how do I work the naps that day so that she doesnt become over tired..

And my last question is Im susposed to be going away at the weekend... Its for 2 nights and 6 hour car journey...Im worried that this will completely ruin whatever routine we have got into and might make her worse... Should we just cancel....

Sorry to be a nusiance thanks for any advice xx

nannynz Mon 20-Jul-09 10:29:32

If she's tired at 8.15am definetly put her down, over the next few weeks you'll find that she's able to be awake happy and for longer. Won't make the rest of your day times wrong at all, just re plan for today. One thing I try to concentrate on is that they're awake for 1.5/2 hours before bed time - sort of working day backwards.

For the baby classes the 10am one I would give her a short nap before class(perhaps on way in pram) and then longer one after the class and a feed. For the 1.30pm one I would perhaps do a short nap early morning then another short nap before the class in pram again.

Don't cancel your weekend, having that time away will be much better for you then staying at home and sticking to the routine. You can always start again when you get back and it will be easier if you've got an routine in mind. When I've traveled with my waking up during the night sleepers then I've done what's ever easiest and bring the into bed with me when they wake/let them sleep in pram etc, although I do try as much as poss to stick to feeding times.

You're not at all being a nusiance. Hope you're enjoying your baby they really are the best little beings. I'm missing my last baby that I left on Wednesday, now waiting for next one to be born.

Roopoo Mon 20-Jul-09 11:16:10

To be honest Nannynz think I may have a little PND as Im finding everything very hard at the moment.. I have posted about this elsewhere xx
Thanks for all the advice... I just feel like Im not doing a very good job sometimes and it worries me...I couldn't sleep last night for worrying about the weekend away..

With her daytime naps now she seems to need soothing as in resting hand on her chest and shushing in her ear... This is fine but she used to be able to send herself off to sleep.. Am I going backwards or is this just a usual thing around the 3month mark. Sorry for all the questions Im just so scared of getting it all wrong...

nannynz Mon 20-Jul-09 11:28:22

I really would recomend seeing your Doctor if you haven't already, they should be helpful in giving you the support that you need, babies can be hard work and I often think that parents aren't given any where near as much support as they need.

I'm sure you're doing a fantastic job it's hard work the first few months but I promise it does become easier.

It is absolutly fine for you to help her off to sleep if she needs it. Also fine for you to have a nap at the same time, sometimes I do co nap as it's nice for both baby and adult.

When your tired, everything seems worse, so I would make sure you're looking after yourself make sure your resting and eating well. Also getting out at least once a day for a walk/coffee/chat with friends. Take care of you.

DrCosyTiger Tue 21-Jul-09 10:15:03

Roopoo, your post could have come from me it was so spookily like I was feeling at your stage. I went through exactly the same thing with my LO - the terrible screaming before she would settle herself to sleep, the feeling like I was getting it all wrong, the fear I had PND as I was crying all the time. My DD is now almost 18 weeks and things have improved, so hang on in there, there is hope. A couple of things that might help. First, don't be afraid to put your DD down to sleep only an hour (or less) after she first wakes up. It took me a while to realise that mine could really only manage about an hour of awake time before she needed a morning nap and that if I got this one right, the rest of the day was better. This is still the case at 18 weeks. Second, DD definitely finds it easier to settle herself for naps and at night if I catch her before she is over tired. This is really difficult to call sometimes. The books tell you to look out for sleepy signs but I find if I leave it until the first yawn it's already too late. I tend to look for her going a bit quiet and staring into the distance but don't always manage to catch it. Third, I have to say, I have become a bit of a routine maniac and if an activity interferes with the naps, I tend to give it a miss as I know that we will suffer for it later in the day, although I realise this isn't an approach that would suit everyone. Above all, though, try and hang on to the fact that things will improve with time. Your LO is still very young and is in the very early stages of learning to settle herself. I noticed a real improvement about 2 weeks ago when DD was 16 weeks. Settling her at night is still hard but the daytime sleep has got much better which makes for a happier day for both of us. I totally understand what you are going through. This is soooo hard sometimes. Let us know how you get on, especially with the travelling.

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