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Behaviour/development

2 yr old too attached to mummy

4 replies

holdingittogether · 15/07/2009 09:56

Looking for a bit of advice here. Ds3 is 2.8 yrs and has always been a bit clingy. I work from home so he doesn't go to any form of childcare and is with me most of the time. Recently he has started to get really upset if I go out without him. For example on sat afternoon I went shopping on my own and left the kids with dh and he sobbed the whole time, crying for me. It has got to the point where I feel I cannot go out without him and I feel guilty knowing he is crying for me at home. Dh dreads it and although he would never stop me from going out or anything I can tell in his voice that he wishes I would either take him with me or not go. This makes me feel really trapped and guilty for wanting to do things on my own. Tonight I am taking our eldest 2 to the cinema for special treat, good reports and all that. Ds3 is too young for the film we are going to see so will stay with dh. Dh is dreading it and being grumpy. In my opinion ds is going to have to get used to being apart from me sooner or later, he starts pre school in september. I really don't feel we should let him rule the roost. I really don't know what has triggered this and strangely at home he is more of a daddy's boy.
Sorry to waffle on. Any advice on how I should handle this?

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FabBakerGirlIsBack · 15/07/2009 11:12

Why not have your DH take your youngest out for a pizza or something tonight? Have them leave first so your DS feels he is leaving you in the house and maybe all try and be home at the same time.

My 4 year old is a real Mummy's boy, would always choose me. but is also the most socialable in all our children. Probably as he has been going out daily from a very young age.

I don't feel he is ruling the roost. He is still so small and there will come a time when he isn't bothered if you are there or not. Just try and enjoy it.

Try and get him and your DH doing more things together rather than DS feeling like he is left with the worse option. DH also needs to see it as a positive thing. Boy time.

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holdingittogether · 16/07/2009 13:34

Thank you for the reply. Broadband was down yesterday so only just been able to get back on.

Dh ended up taking him swimming so everything was ok in the end.

Do you think it is possible to be too close to a parent? I do worry sometimes. He very cuddly and wants to kiss me all the time which is lovely on one hand but my older 2 were never like this and sometimes it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. I guess I should enjoy it while it lasts as I'm sure in a few years he will be like the other 2 and squirm away when I try to cuddle them!!

Fingers crossed he is going to be ok separating from me at preschool.

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Helen31 · 16/07/2009 17:38

Hi - just saw this and although I don't have personal experience yet, I gather that it is perfectly normal for children to have a clingy phase. I'm reading a brilliant book at the mo - www.amazon.co.uk/What-Every-Parent-Needs-Know/dp/1405320362/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=12&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21 47762228&sr=8-1

It has a specific section on clinging, and why it isn't something to worry about. I can't remember if she has any tips (as DS is only 4 months at mo haven't worried too much about this stage yet!), but the whole book is fabulously helpful imo.

HTH

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FabBakerGirlIsBack · 16/07/2009 17:40

Mine is always telling me he loves me and is always wanting to touch me. I have worried it has meant there is something wrong with him (he did have issues when in me) but really I am sure he is just an affectionate little boy who is in touch with his feelings.

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