Please help me with my DD (10months) :(

[2anddone]

Hi my dd has just turned 10 months and although she has never been the happiest baby in the world she would sit on the floor and play nicely and let me leave the room. I know that they go through separation anxiety at this age and it has come as a shock as ds never did! However the past couple of days dd has gone mad when I hand her to dh and cries until I take her back. She has started going stiff as a board in her body if I am trying to get her in a car seat, highchair or anywhere she has decided she doesn't want to be. She has never slept through the night usually waking at least once for a bottle and just lately refuses to settle so ends up in our bed. Please tell me this is just a phase and will pass. What do you suggest I could try to get it to pass quicker? Do you think cc at night would work? and also just leaving her in the day if I have to leave the room and keep popping back in so she can see I am still here? Really confused on this one would love some help TIA

[13lucky]

Hiya, haven't got any real solutions but didn't want to ignore your message. My ds is 9 months and is also doing a bit of the separation anxiety, particularly with me (rather than dh). I have an older dd who was far worse though! They do grow out of it but it's tiresome while it lasts. I find at the moment with ds that I try and reassure him that I'm still there - so calling out to him from the other room, or playing peek-a-boo is also supposed to teach them the idea that even though they can't see you, you will return. Because ds is the second child, sometimes I can't be with him 100% of the time and can't go running to him as quickly as I did with dd so I think he is learning quite quick that sometimes he has to amuse himself. Your ds will get there. With regards to nighttime, not sure what to suggest. Personally I wouldn't take him into your bed as he'll get used to this and then it will be hard to get him back into his own bed. My ds is also waking in the night sometimes so maybe it's an age-related thing...sorry don't know what to suggest on this one. I'm just trying to leave him unless it's proper crying and then I go to him and try and soothe him and then put him back down again...but a bit lost myself with the night waking thing as my dd never did this. Good luck.

[Yorky]

My DD is nearly 8months and has started to do this, especially when she is tired. Unfortunately it includes me holding DS (2.5yrs) and not her! In a morning she will sit on a playmat in the kitchen eating a toy quite happily watching me washup, when I'm trying to get tea cooked its a different story! And if i try to leave the kitchen to hang washing or something she kicks off massively. I think talking for the other room so that they know you are still there is easier than carrying them with you constantly, I've heard about peekaboo being good practice for this too as well.
And yes, its definitely a phase, and no more annoying than any other to look back on! That probably doesn't help much, but you are not alone

[2anddone]

Thanks for your replies it is nice to know I am not alone. DD went mad today everytime I left the room though I had to pop out this morning and left her with DH he said she was fine until I came back and as soon as she saw me she went mad! I put her in her highchair at dinner and she stiffened her whole body and fell through the bottom luckily I was there to catch her...I am starting to think I have a little madam in the making!

[girlsyearapart]

Hi yes we also have dd2 10months who can be a bit like that. I try not to give into it too much and if she cries when someone else takes her she will usually calm down a few seconds later if they distract her. Dd1 never was like that but we did do cc with her at 6 and a half months which worked after 2 weeks and only ever have either of them in our bed if they're poorly. I find that I can't sleep if they're in my bed even if they do sleep so it defeated the object. I also talk to them the whole time eg 'DD2 stay here and play with your toys Mummy is going upstairs for a minute to fetch whatever/go to the loo.' You never know how much they understand!

[Supercherry]

I know it's hard 2anddone but I personally think the quickest way to get a baby through separation anxiety is to be there for them, so if she wants you, you hold her. It will ease her anxiety by learning her mother is there for her.

I think CC could make her anxiety worse, if anything.

DS, now 17mths, had separation anxiety at 11mths but it only lasted 2 weeks and I just held him as much as he liked, took him to the loo with me, in my bed etc. He has never been clingy with me since though he does like lots of entertaining and stimulation, but that's just his personality.

[hophophippidtyhop]

There is a sleep regression around this time.
this explains it a bit. Basically around this time their brain is developing and getting ready to learn new things and unfortunately doesn't know to stop whirring at night time. Hope that helps with the sleep.