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fed up of saying no!!!

(9 Posts)
mumtojames Mon 13-Jul-09 11:40:26

my dd is only 16months, but all i seem to do is say no to her, she doesnt listen, just smiles and carries on! its little things like opening cupboards etc, nothing major but its driving me mad, when removed tantrum takes over, which i do ignore. i was thinking maybe saying no twice, removing her, then if she returns or tanturums putting her in a travel cot. what do you think, or is she just too young to start time out?

Supercherry Mon 13-Jul-09 12:09:25

I was thinking the very same thing the other day! DS, 17mths has actually started saying 'No' back to me, in pretty much exactly the same tone I use grin.

To be honest though I only say 'No' as a way of starting to teach him right from wrong, eg. when he hits. I don't expect him to understand much at this age or do anything he is told.

I always say something like, 'No DS, we don't hit' or 'No, DS we don't pull all the food out of the fridge'. I then follow this up with distraction mostly.

I also have cupboard locks and sellotape on the fridge which makes life far less stressful because when they realise they can't open the door anyway they stop trying to. Prevention is better than the cure IMO.

I would say just stick with the gentle but firm 'No' and distraction for time being. I think she is too young for time out. They are just acting on impulse at this age and time out wouldn't teach her anything because I doubt she would link the 'punishment' with the behaviour. She's not being naughty just learning and curiosity is a big part of learning.

HensMum Mon 13-Jul-09 12:17:16

Try not to say no too often. Reserve it for the really serious stuff (like hitting). I went through a phase of this with DS, then realised that I said no ^all the time^ so it essentially meant nothing. Once I stopped saying it, he took more notice.

Distraction is the only thing that really works e.g. if she's banging something that she shouldn't, give her a drum to bang instead. Put cupboard locks on the door so she can't open them, and if you see her trying to, give her something more interesting to do.

ruddynorah Mon 13-Jul-09 12:19:46

what's in the cupboards? can she not have a look in them? she's just copying you, you open them i bet.

can she have her own cupboard with her stuff in that she is allowed to open?

mumtojames Mon 13-Jul-09 12:23:07

thanks, not alone then!
i do have the cupboards locked too, but if ive forgotten and she get in them, then i lock and say no,she will just pull at them and scream!! distraction techniques dont seem to work, not even my mad dancing and show stopping singing worksgrin!!!!
i just seem to have to ignore her tantrum, i was hoping to try and stop them before they start?! is it even possible?? she is my third and i never had any problems like this with my other two, they just seemed content with the distraction!

Supercherry Mon 13-Jul-09 12:31:47

They do get harder to distract as they get older, I agree with that.

I just pick DS up and take him in the garden and say things like 'Oooh, look at the birds' in a really excited voice.

Neighbours must think I'm mad and DS has started to copy my 'Oooh'.

Just think anyway, it's just a phase and she'll soon get bored with the cupboard. Ruddynorah's suggestion is agood one, if possible.

Supercherry Mon 13-Jul-09 12:34:13

Be firm when it comes to the fridge though, as I heard DS open the fridge door the other day and thought, a minute wont hurt while I just finish this post on Mumsnet, next thing I know he has cracked an egg on my knee. I'm not joking. I had to laugh.

mumtojames Mon 13-Jul-09 12:43:17

yes alot can happen in a minute, i thought exactly the same, only to find porridge and alpen all over the floor. dog was well pleased!! she meanwhile had been drinking the cream, lovely white beard down to her tummy!!

BoysAreLikeDogs Mon 13-Jul-09 12:45:57

I say 'steady' a lot

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