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just completely lost my rag with my 7 year old son

(15 Posts)
carocaro Sat 11-Jul-09 11:53:27

What on earth do you do when they just won't stop going on and on and on and won't listen to a word you say whilst you are try your best to help them and they talk to you like shit.

I have just slapped him round the head and screamed in his face and sent him to his room.

The worst thing I ever could have done.

I can't seem to do anything right with him at all. And he breaks up next week for th holidays, what the fuck are we going to do?

blondissimo Sat 11-Jul-09 13:32:14

Not sure if this is the right advice but if this were me I would try to totally ignore him.
Have tried this with dsd and seems to work - she even came and apologised once after she had calmed down.
Is he like it often?

mrsmaidamess Sat 11-Jul-09 13:34:31

Oh dear. Slapping is NOT GOOD. I think you need to calmly go to his room and say you are sorry you did that. And ask him if there is anything he would like to say to you.

What is it specifically he is doing that is making you angry?

CarGirl Sat 11-Jul-09 13:34:57

we use time out, and she is forceably put there is she won't co-operate! Have to do it very very rarely as a reminder of the last incident usually helps her stem the verbal back chat.

Last week she was being mouthy mid fruit after dinner, she was sent to bed (she usually has 5 courses and this was course 2!) talk about idignant and upset. However she has controlled her mouth better since.

blondissimo Sat 11-Jul-09 13:44:30

Agree with mrsmaidamess - I know you probably slapped him in the heat of the moment, but if you don't apologise and tell him it was wrong of you, then he will think that is acceptable behaviour.

mrsmaidamess Sat 11-Jul-09 13:47:58

I am trying to use 'Because' consequences (I have a cheeky 6 year old)

So if he is playing up I say 'Because you tipped your drink over, you will go to bed half and hour earlier tonight' or what ever.

Then he can hopefully see how he chooses to behave (because it is a choice) has an impact for him.

imaynotbeperfectbutimokmummy Sat 11-Jul-09 14:25:26

you put him to bed early for spilling his drink? shock

piscesmoon Sat 11-Jul-09 14:31:53

I think that the problem is that you are shouting at him and slapping him. Now you are calm I would sit down with him and apologise for the slapping. Tell him what you find upsetting and work out some rules between you and acceptable consequences, that come naturally from what he did wrong. e.g. if he spilled the drink he is the one to clear it up.

piscesmoon Sat 11-Jul-09 14:33:01

Don't let him talk to you like shit-but remember you have to watch what you say to him.

mrsmaidamess Sat 11-Jul-09 19:42:47

imaynotbeperfect...of course I didn't..it was an example, typed at speed.

barnsleybelle Sat 11-Jul-09 19:58:43

How would you react if he slapped you around the head and screamed in your face? Even if it was in the heat of the moment?
You should apologise to him for your behaviour and try to find other solutions such as time out, confiscating items etc etc.
Slapping him and screaming at him will only serve to teach him that if your angry enough it's ok to do this, and it's quite simply not.

jaluca Sat 11-Jul-09 21:20:35

my 6 year old daughter doesnot stop moaning, sulking, grizzling, huffing and puffingetc, etc.even when she is doing things she loves i.e.swimming she will moan all the way through it. she is an only child and definately has a bad case *only child syndrome*. she is very clever,articulate but not a lover of friends or school. she is also quite defiant although she doesn't throw tantrums or hit out etc but is extremely intense and moody. any advice to help put a smile on my girls face. thanks.

darcireece Sat 11-Jul-09 23:32:02

I 100% know how you feel my 6 yr old is the same if he goes on & on after been told the answer he will do time out (in another room) if he speaks to me out of order i will tell him i'm not listening until he can speak to me nicely if still he continues (which he usually does) he looses something he likes e.g ds or his tv & will be sent straight to his room for time out & i tell him to think about how he should talk to me he usually comes back downstairs with an apology but his ds or tv has still been lost for 3 days we usually do 1/2 his age but sending them away from yourself is the best advice i think as it lets them & yourself calm down smile

hmc Sat 11-Jul-09 23:50:49

I've slapped too. It's horrible. When you feel the rage building up like that you need to extricate yourself from the situation - walk away

hedwig06 Sun 12-Jul-09 07:55:39

Carocaro
I know totally how you are feeling, we have been having trouble with our 7 year old for months now, he is being silly in the classroom, and not doing as he is told either at school or at home.
I went to a "workshop" at school Friday where we had to make a tower that would hold a marble out of 20 straws, he was a total pain, he kept walking away to chat, messing with the sissors, straws, everything really, doing a really silly laugh - loudly, .......... anyway after 10 or more times of telling him to pack it in, his teacher came over and told him off in front of me blush

I just can't seem to control him at the moment.

I came home and told him off again and said I wouldn't be going to his sports day next week, as it would be a waste of my time coming when he can't even behave himself.

His dad then told him off and banned him watching his tv at bed time, and banned him from his DS.

This is just a drop in the ocean of what we have had to put with in the last few weeks.

I have no words of advice - just understanding sad

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