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excessive tantrums after daytime nap

(10 Posts)
janx Fri 10-Jul-09 22:06:35

Ds is 19 months and has always woken from his daytime nap in a foul mood. I used to bf him after this nap to try and soothe him, but stopped about a month ago as I want to stop feeding him now. He now has the mother of all tantrums often lasting more than 20 minutes - nothing seems to make it better - I hold him and he bucks and screams - I try and distract him - toys, food etc - but he just carries on. Today I just had to leave him get on with it as dd had fallen over. When he finally stops screaming - he sobs and is clearly exhausted and lets me hold him and the he is back to being cheerful...I am finding it so draining. As far as I know he is fine after his nap at nursery - he goes 3 days a week. It makes me feel guilty. I am still feeding him in the morning and at bedtime - he has very few words, which adds to his frustration/anger. Anyone in the same boat or have some advice.

LilRedWG Fri 10-Jul-09 22:09:42

No advice I'm afraid, but I do know that my Mum stopped me having a daytime nap when I was two as I was evil incarnate when I woke. To be fair I am the same now if I have an afternoon nap, so maybe Mum knew what she was talking about afterall.

Have you talked to nursery to see what he is really like when he wakes there or are they just glossing over it?

Good luck.

slowreadingprogress Fri 10-Jul-09 22:14:34

I agree, ask nursery specifically about this, they might just not think it worth mentioning, as they no doubt deal with alot of crying kids every day!

this does sound awful for you but remember he is not going to have actual memories of this; he's not traumatised, he's just vocal in expressing that 'bear with a sore head' feeling. I think tbh you might be ok to leave him to get on with it a bit and not try too hard to distract etc; sounds like he has just got to go through it until he is ready to stop.

Have you tried making the nap shorter/earlier/later in the day to see if that makes any difference at all?

Could he do without it and have a 6pm bedtime?

snala Fri 10-Jul-09 22:35:54

My 18month old ds is the same if i get him out of the cot too early.
After he wakes i leave him with some books until i can hear him chatting.

Then i ask him if he is ready to get up, he will put his arms out if he is.

We do have days where he is just miserable either way so i tend to let him get on with it until he is ready.

I would question the nursery as I worked as a nursery nurse for 6 years and things could be getting 'glossed over'.

NanaJo Sat 11-Jul-09 00:20:55

My Ds2 (now 3.2) was exactly like this this! It was driving me crazy ... the crying jag and tantrums would literally last for an hour or so every time he awakened from his afternoon nap! I tried to simply stop him having an afternoon nap but that was impossible. He would just curl up and fall asleep and there was no keeping him awake. Nothing helped so I made the decision to try and manage the behavior by having him stay in his crib until the screaming had stopped. I would pop in every 5 minutes and stroke his head and say something like "Have you finished crying now? You can get up when you're done." If he started the tantrum once up, I immediatly put him back in his crib and shut the door. Again I'd return every 5 minutes and repeat what I'd said earlier. Almost immediatly his tantrums were a lot shorter, lasting only 10 - 20 minutes, and it only took 5-6 days for him to stop almost all the post nap screaming/crying altogether. I'd always praise him a lot when the crying tantrum stopped and give him a cuddle. He was a late talker and I also used to wonder if frustration and his lack of being able to express himself was the underlying cause. I hope this helps a bit even though my Ds was a little older than yours when going through this ... 24 to 27 months or so.

melmog Sat 11-Jul-09 07:39:43

No advice but you're not alone.

My dd1 is 2.11 and I stopped the daytime naps a while back as I was having exactly the same thing. Unless she managed to sleep for coming up to 3.5/4 hours she was awful. Waking her just caused a major meltdown.

I was sometimes able to step in when she was just waking and get a biscuit or some juice into her. Always wondered if it could be a blood sugar thing?

But sorry, only stopping the naps helped in our case.

littleboyblue Sat 11-Jul-09 07:44:35

My ds1 was and sometimes still is the same. He doesn't always nap now though sad
I just ignored it really, when he woke, I'd bring him into the living room and he'd throw a big wobbly so I'd put out a drink and a little snack and just wait for him to calm himself down. Once he picked up the snack, he'd start to calm down and be ready for story time.
It does pass.

porncocktail Sat 11-Jul-09 07:52:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

janx Sat 11-Jul-09 09:15:27

Thanks everyone - see I am not the only one with this problem. Am going to talk to nursery again, though I suspect he is an angel there and saves all his grumps for home. Often we are out when he falls asleep in his buggy - so can't do the leaving him in his bed think. He really needs a nap as he is often awake at 5am. I wondered if it is a blood sugar thing -and do offer him a biscuit - he has been known to hurl it across the room. Am going to try and experiment with times - at nursery he has his nap at 12/12.30 - but at home and out he often doesn't go until 1.30/2.
Will try and praise him more when he stops the tantrum. I think it is connected up to stopping that bf after sleep. I think he is furious with me

Blundermum Tue 14-Jul-09 07:32:49

So nice to know Its not just mine!!
DD is now 21 months and has been doing this for a few weeks now after afternoon nap.
I've been wondering how best to deal with it.
She still has two naps a day, one at 9ish and the second at 3ish...would I be better off stopping the afternoon one?
Yesterday she was so bad that I left her on the floor screaming and walked out of the room...felt awful, thats the first time I've done that, usually I try to hold her but she was bucking around too much.
DH and I agree on absolutely nothing to do with DD so I feel like I'm on my own.

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