Toddler sometimes angelic, sometimes a proper devil...help!(2 Posts)
My 2yr n 8 month old is sometimes a real little devil and sometimes a total angel. I have no idea what to do when she is a pain. Have also got 10 week old baby, sometimes she is great with him, bit overzealous sometimes totally horrid...last week I discovered teeth marks on his hand, tiny hand...I tried not to make a big deal out of it as I think she is doing it for my reaction, as well as his...help! A friend says naughty corner works with her dau hve tried but mine just walks off or looks at me with pure defiance Have bought How to talk so kids will listen book, but when am in the midst of it, I can't be reasonable...monday I really shouted at her, which I said I'd never do as my mum was a horrible woman as a parent...am so scared I am turning into her!
I sympathise with the Jekyll/Hyde scenario. My DD is nearly 2 and one minute I think I'll burst, I love her so much, and sometimes she has such horrible tantrums or displays really nasty behaviour and I just have to walk away in utter disgust.
On the advice of my health visitor, I'm trying out some different techniques listed in "Toddler Taming" by Dr Christopher Green, ranging from ignoring her/walking away initially until she stops what she's doing/calms down etc, distracting her with something completely different and interesting, to using a time out in a room for a minute, repeating it if required each time she comes out still in a raging strop.
I have seen an improvement in her behaviour since I've been using the book for the last couple of weeks but at first I thought nothing would work and nearly gave in. Also, the distraction only works at certain times of day (ie, when it's not nearly nap time). The ignoring is the most successful and frequently used in our house, particularly as I simply walk away from her into the next room or start talking to DH as though I really couldn't care less. As the book says, if the audience walks away, the performer won't perform for long... Before I was a mum, I used to think I'd never use a book to help raise a child but this one really has helped so far, even if it's just given me a little (but much needed) confidence boost.
I've also been trying desperately hard to praise DD more when she is good, as I started to realise that I was actually saying "no" or "don't" to her more than I was saying "good girl" or anything kind.
It is still very hard sometimes though, particularly if DD comes up to nip me when I'm ignoring her or bangs her head on the floor. My instinct is to cuddle her better but the headbanging is slowly going as I'm slowly getting tougher and just telling her that it will hurt if she does it and leaving it at that. DH can sometimes get in the way of things and I do get cross with him when I've walked away from her throwing a tantrum and he goes to try and cuddle her, making me feel like the big bad wolf
I'm going to carry on with these techniques and hopefully the improvements will continue, although I just hope all our good work isn't undone when her baby brother is born in November...
Try and keep your chin up and don't worry about turning into your mum. Just because you shouted at your DD doesn't mean you're becoming a horrible parent, we've all done it from time to time. Just try and vent your frustration on us instead, we all understand!
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