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Behaviour/development

Problem with DS2 and I don't agree with DH's solution

190 replies

FabBakerGirlIsBack · 09/07/2009 08:28

DS2 is just 4 and since he was 3 he has come down in the morning and helped himself to food. Always chocolate. He isn't doing it because he is hungry, he just wants the chocolate and knows it is wrong as we have told him not to do it.

Last week he had some of my chocolate and said he was just checking it was okay.

This morning I came down to get a box of Roses I had left out to take into school today for a Mum who had helped me yesterday. They had been put in the cupboard and I assumed by DH. I got them out and DS2 had opened them and helped himself to three, and then put them back in the cupboard (hiding the evidence,)

DH wants to put a lock on the door so he can't come out. I am 100% against this and will look for something to keep the cupboard door from being opened by DS2.

Any ideas to get him to stop? I am giving him a sticker for staying in his room after he has been put to bed at night and wondering about extending that to staying upstairs until DH or I are up.

He once ate some cooking chocolate and I worry one day he will eat something he really shouldn't have and make himself ill.

I have to go to school now but thank you in advance for any advice.

Just one last thing, what do you do if you disagree with something your DH wants to do/use as discipline? Who gets the final say?

BTW I will win this one. There is no way he is locking him in.

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Maveta · 09/07/2009 08:37

Locking him in, I agree, is extreme. Can't you just make sure all the chocolate/ biccies/ things he shouldn't eat are locked away?

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Maveta · 09/07/2009 08:38

We've not had any huge stand offs about discipline methods so I don't know how I would resolve that one (ds is only 2, we have all that still to come...)

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piscesmoon · 09/07/2009 08:47

You can't lock him in-I think I would flip completely if I found I was locked in a room! It is a fire hazard too.
Put all chocolate in a cupboard out of reach. Even better-don't have any in the house!
If your DP has different methods you have to talk and reach a compromise.

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BonsoirAnna · 09/07/2009 08:49

I would just stop having chocolate in the house - it will be better for all of you!

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melmog · 09/07/2009 08:50

Or hide it better!

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FAQinglovely · 09/07/2009 08:50

don't lock him in.

However, speaking from experience taking the "nice" things out of the house won't stop some kids.

In fact I'm still trying to find a solution with DS1.........he'll be 9 in September and still does the sneaking down and taking food without asking/telling us he's taken it

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Habbibu · 09/07/2009 08:52

Agree that locking in is dangerous and a fire hazard (as well as quite horrible). And yes - less chocolate in the house, and put any you do have way out of reach.

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cory · 09/07/2009 08:56

What everybody's said. It's the chocolate that wants to be locked away, not the child. If dh and I have something like this I still put it on a top shelf, even though my children are pre-teens.

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FAQinglovely · 09/07/2009 08:58

lol @ "top shelf" - oh if only it were that simple

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melmog · 09/07/2009 09:03

I meant a locked shed or something! My two year old gets a chair and pulls it over to the worktop to get to the top shelf where the biscuit tin.

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melmog · 09/07/2009 09:03

Because chocolate is very precious and needs protecting.

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bubblagirl · 09/07/2009 09:05

can you stair gate the kitchen so he cannot get in my ds is 4 and has habit of helping himself so we have stair gate up and we leave nibbles on table fruit etc that he can help himself to on living room table

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Supercherry · 09/07/2009 09:06

Get some cupboard locks, and hope that your DS won't be able to figure out how to open them! Or hide the goodies in your bedroom overnight.

Whilst he knows that there is chocolate within reach, I think it's a tad unrealistic to expect him to have the self control not to take some.

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bubblagirl · 09/07/2009 09:08

as for discipline as a mother we will always think dp is maybe bit harsh they have the mans head on but as long as its nothing too bad i let dp have his say at times or we compromise on it its only fair they get to parent too even if its not your way my mum and dad parented differently my dad was more stern mum was soft we never went against my dad but obviously did with mum until she wised up

i wouldnt agree to locking in i would agree to lock kitchen door or add a stair gate parent and work it out together and its not about winning its about working together your both entitled to a say

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3littlefrogs · 09/07/2009 09:11

Put a bolt up at the top of the kitchen door.

He is only 4. Remove the temptation, it is much easier all round.

Don't lock the child in a room - it is, as has been said, extremely dangerous if there was a fire, for example.

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FabBakerGirlIsBack · 09/07/2009 09:12

No chocolate at all in the house? Are you mad? Not that there is ever much anyway. Currently some choc coins from school and now a part eaten box of Roses.

No way is he being locked in so that isn't a problem.

He also gets a chair and climbs up.

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FabBakerGirlIsBack · 09/07/2009 09:14

I just can't understand why DH thinks it is okay. I know he is annoyed about DS coming down but it is just plain unforgivable to lock him in.

Anyone know where I can get a cupboard lock that will keep 2 door knobs locked?

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melmog · 09/07/2009 09:33

I don't know how to do links but check out babysecurity.co.uk.

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FabBakerGirlIsBack · 09/07/2009 09:38

I will, thank you.

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posiedullardparker · 09/07/2009 09:43

OMG I can't believe so many dcs go downstairs and take food.... can't you just say no. If he disobeys take something away? He gets a reward, ie chocolate, for going downstairs why would a sticker work for staying upstairs.

A dreadful habit to wake and eat chocolate.

If he were getting up and pissing on the curtains you'd have stopped him by now, this is no different he's doing something naughty.

Your DH is crazy has he never heard of a house fire???

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FabBakerGirlIsBack · 09/07/2009 09:46

Thank you melmog. Have ordered one and it was half price so the postage was free really.

posiedullardparker - how do you manage being such a perfect parent who knows everything?

And no, my DH is not crazxy thank you And I have already said it is not going to happen.

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Grammaticus · 09/07/2009 09:46

Stop buying chocolate. Put a bolt or hook fastener (easier to fit) at the top of the kitchen door to stop him rummaging around. And make clear conqequences for this behaviour - he shouldn't be doing this, you don't want him to do it, so stop him - he's only 4 FGS!

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FAQinglovely · 09/07/2009 09:46

posie - perhaps you can think of a punishment or reward system that will work with my DS1 then as you're obviously so knowledgable he's been doing it since he was old enough to climb over a stairgate (so we're talking 2/3yrs old) - and 6yrs later we're STILL fighting that battle.

DS2 - 5 1/2yrs old - hasn't taken anything - and he eats like a gannet and is constantly asking for food - but never just takes it.

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FabBakerGirlIsBack · 09/07/2009 09:47

Thank you Grammaticus.

You are clearly lucky to have children who always do as you say.

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FabBakerGirlIsBack · 09/07/2009 09:48

Only on MN can you ask for advice and be basically called a bad mother and insulted.

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