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Problem with DS2 and I don't agree with DH's solution

(191 Posts)
FabBakerGirlIsBack Thu 09-Jul-09 08:28:57

DS2 is just 4 and since he was 3 he has come down in the morning and helped himself to food. Always chocolate. He isn't doing it because he is hungry, he just wants the chocolate and knows it is wrong as we have told him not to do it.

Last week he had some of my chocolate and said he was just checking it was okay.

This morning I came down to get a box of Roses I had left out to take into school today for a Mum who had helped me yesterday. They had been put in the cupboard and I assumed by DH. I got them out and DS2 had opened them and helped himself to three, and then put them back in the cupboard (hiding the evidence,hmm)

DH wants to put a lock on the door so he can't come out. I am 100% against this and will look for something to keep the cupboard door from being opened by DS2.

Any ideas to get him to stop? I am giving him a sticker for staying in his room after he has been put to bed at night and wondering about extending that to staying upstairs until DH or I are up.

He once ate some cooking chocolate and I worry one day he will eat something he really shouldn't have and make himself ill.

I have to go to school now but thank you in advance for any advice.

Just one last thing, what do you do if you disagree with something your DH wants to do/use as discipline? Who gets the final say?

BTW I will win this one. There is no way he is locking him in.

Maveta Thu 09-Jul-09 08:37:30

Locking him in, I agree, is extreme. Can't you just make sure all the chocolate/ biccies/ things he shouldn't eat are locked away?

Maveta Thu 09-Jul-09 08:38:33

We've not had any huge stand offs about discipline methods so I don't know how I would resolve that one (ds is only 2, we have all that still to come...)

piscesmoon Thu 09-Jul-09 08:47:57

You can't lock him in-I think I would flip completely if I found I was locked in a room! It is a fire hazard too.
Put all chocolate in a cupboard out of reach. Even better-don't have any in the house!
If your DP has different methods you have to talk and reach a compromise.

BonsoirAnna Thu 09-Jul-09 08:49:36

I would just stop having chocolate in the house - it will be better for all of you!

melmog Thu 09-Jul-09 08:50:25

Or hide it better! grin

FAQinglovely Thu 09-Jul-09 08:50:49

don't lock him in.

However, speaking from experience taking the "nice" things out of the house won't stop some kids.

In fact I'm still trying to find a solution with DS1.........he'll be 9 in September and still does the sneaking down and taking food without asking/telling us he's taken it hmm

Habbibu Thu 09-Jul-09 08:52:53

Agree that locking in is dangerous and a fire hazard (as well as quite horrible). And yes - less chocolate in the house, and put any you do have way out of reach.

cory Thu 09-Jul-09 08:56:23

What everybody's said. It's the chocolate that wants to be locked away, not the child. If dh and I have something like this I still put it on a top shelf, even though my children are pre-teens.

FAQinglovely Thu 09-Jul-09 08:58:29

lol @ "top shelf" - oh if only it were that simple

<<<<<<<<<sighs and wanders off to find out exactly how much and what DS1 was munching on this morning before she got up>>>>>>>>

smile

melmog Thu 09-Jul-09 09:03:01

I meant a locked shed or something! My two year old gets a chair and pulls it over to the worktop to get to the top shelf where the biscuit tin.

melmog Thu 09-Jul-09 09:03:25

Because chocolate is very precious and needs protecting.

bubblagirl Thu 09-Jul-09 09:05:44

can you stair gate the kitchen so he cannot get in my ds is 4 and has habit of helping himself so we have stair gate up and we leave nibbles on table fruit etc that he can help himself to on living room table

Supercherry Thu 09-Jul-09 09:06:09

Get some cupboard locks, and hope that your DS won't be able to figure out how to open them! Or hide the goodies in your bedroom overnight.

Whilst he knows that there is chocolate within reach, I think it's a tad unrealistic to expect him to have the self control not to take some.

bubblagirl Thu 09-Jul-09 09:08:30

as for discipline as a mother we will always think dp is maybe bit harsh they have the mans head on but as long as its nothing too bad i let dp have his say at times or we compromise on it its only fair they get to parent too even if its not your way my mum and dad parented differently my dad was more stern mum was soft we never went against my dad but obviously did with mum until she wised up

i wouldnt agree to locking in i would agree to lock kitchen door or add a stair gate parent and work it out together and its not about winning its about working together your both entitled to a say

3littlefrogs Thu 09-Jul-09 09:11:58

Put a bolt up at the top of the kitchen door.

He is only 4. Remove the temptation, it is much easier all round.

Don't lock the child in a room - it is, as has been said, extremely dangerous if there was a fire, for example.

FabBakerGirlIsBack Thu 09-Jul-09 09:12:48

No chocolate at all in the house? Are you mad? hmm Not that there is ever much anyway. Currently some choc coins from school and now a part eaten box of Roses.hmm

No way is he being locked in so that isn't a problem.

He also gets a chair and climbs up.

FabBakerGirlIsBack Thu 09-Jul-09 09:14:35

I just can't understand why DH thinks it is okay. I know he is annoyed about DS coming down but it is just plain unforgivable to lock him in.

Anyone know where I can get a cupboard lock that will keep 2 door knobs locked?

melmog Thu 09-Jul-09 09:33:27

I don't know how to do links but check out babysecurity.co.uk.

FabBakerGirlIsBack Thu 09-Jul-09 09:38:21

I will, thank you.

posiedullardparker Thu 09-Jul-09 09:43:10

OMG I can't believe so many dcs go downstairs and take food.... can't you just say no. If he disobeys take something away? He gets a reward, ie chocolate, for going downstairs why would a sticker work for staying upstairs.

A dreadful habit to wake and eat chocolate.

If he were getting up and pissing on the curtains you'd have stopped him by now, this is no different he's doing something naughty.

Your DH is crazy has he never heard of a house fire???

FabBakerGirlIsBack Thu 09-Jul-09 09:46:18

Thank you melmog. Have ordered one and it was half price so the postage was free really.

posiedullardparker - how do you manage being such a perfect parent who knows everything?

And no, my DH is not crazxy thank you angry And I have already said it is not going to happen.

Grammaticus Thu 09-Jul-09 09:46:18

Stop buying chocolate. Put a bolt or hook fastener (easier to fit) at the top of the kitchen door to stop him rummaging around. And make clear conqequences for this behaviour - he shouldn't be doing this, you don't want him to do it, so stop him - he's only 4 FGS!

FAQinglovely Thu 09-Jul-09 09:46:43

posie - perhaps you can think of a punishment or reward system that will work with my DS1 then as you're obviously so knowledgable he's been doing it since he was old enough to climb over a stairgate (so we're talking 2/3yrs old) - and 6yrs later we're STILL fighting that battle.

DS2 - 5 1/2yrs old - hasn't taken anything - and he eats like a gannet and is constantly asking for food - but never just takes it.

FabBakerGirlIsBack Thu 09-Jul-09 09:47:20

Thank you Grammaticus.

You are clearly lucky to have children who always do as you say.

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