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8 month old still waking for night feeds

(20 Posts)
ltrue Sun 05-Jul-09 22:11:16

My ds is a hapy, content little boy - but persists in waking at least once in the middle of the night to be fed despite the fact he is almost eight months old. I'm pretty sure it's habit and not teething or actual hunger as often it's at the same time. I leave him to cry for as long as I can, usually 10-15 mins before soothing him, and only take him out of his cot as a last resort. I am conscious we've got neighbours, and I can't bear to leave him to yell for longer...I don't feed him but am often so knackered I take him into bed with me and pop him back in his cot when he falls asleep. He then sleeps thru till morning. I've got girlfriends with babies the same age who habitually sleep for 12 hours, but they can't tell me why, or what I am doing wrong. Any tips please!! I go back to work soon and must get a nights sleep..

4andnotout Sun 05-Jul-09 22:13:55

My 8 mo bf dd4 still wakes 2-3 times a night for a feed, dd3 is 21mo and still wakes up during the night, not all babies sleep through.

Sorry this sounds negative but im just trying to reassure you that it is perfectly normal for an 8mo to wake overnight.

ltrue Sun 05-Jul-09 22:17:50

No, that's good to hear. As a first time mum you start to think that other mums have the magic solution you don't! I guess you just have to go with it...

HumphreyCobbler Sun 05-Jul-09 22:20:28

I think it is normal to wake for a feed at eight months. It is not because of anything you are doing wrong. My dd is nine months and often wakes up two or three times.

If you don't feed him but put him into your cot after 15 minutes why don't you just take him straight into your bed?

thisisyesterday Sun 05-Jul-09 22:21:15

my tip is just feed him and be done with it. it'll be a lot less stressful for you both.
many, many, many children don't sleep through until they're much older than that, although I know it often seems like you're the only one!

my 20m old still wakes in the night for milk, and I Know there are plenty of mums on here with older children who wake still.

so you're def not alone, and you certainly aren't doing anything wrong

ltrue Sun 05-Jul-09 22:24:17

Sometimes I can settle him back into his cot, and I guess I would rather do that if I can than take him into bed. I'm conscious that I don't want to get him used to always being taken into our bed if he cries in case it gets us into bad habits..

ShowOfHands Sun 05-Jul-09 22:24:36

Oh gosh, if my 26 month old wakes for milk- and she does, often- I give it to her.

It's normal at 8 months. Many, many babies aren't sleeping through at that point. And it sounds as though he just has milk and straight back to sleep, no messing about or wanting to play etc.

It's so hot atm too that I'd just go with it if you're happy to.

4andnotout Sun 05-Jul-09 22:24:59

I probably shouldn't mention that my dd2 (4.4) has only just started sleeping through consistently.

All children are completely different, dd1 slept through from 6 weeks, unfortunatly none of my others have taken her lead hmm

ltrue Sun 05-Jul-09 22:26:55

I thought I was doing the right thing by trying to 'tough' it out and not feed him...also pretty sure he's not actualy hungry, it's a comfort/habit thing. I've just had so much 'advice' from people - dh included! - that if I continue to feed him I am creating a rod for my own back. Tbh it'sa relief to hear lost of babies this age don't sleep thru.

therealthing Sun 05-Jul-09 22:28:38

My ds did this and after eight and half months I couldn't take anymore.

I did controlled crying. Going in and soothing and leaving longer gaps each time. It is hard but after a few days he slept through the night and has ever since. He is five now.

I think at eight months they are quite capable of sleeping through. My DS was just waking and wanting to be breastfed back to sleep through habit.

ltrue Sun 05-Jul-09 22:32:50

That sounds like the way to go...I am convinced it's just habit

ShowOfHands Sun 05-Jul-09 22:33:52

It all depends on your pov. Even if there was some concrete way of proving it wasn't hunger/thirst, I would have fed my dd at that age. Because frankly I see desire for a cuddle/comfort as a need as much as I do food. Heck, I sometimes need a cuddle/to know that dh's there in the middle of the night.

It's what works for you. Controlled crying is not recommended for children under the age of 12 months really. I couldn't do it at any age. Wouldn't teach a child that if they cry for me I don't come, especially at a young age when crying is all they have in terms of communication.

There are gentle ways of doing it if you want to cut out night feeds but don't want to leave your baby to cry.

ltrue Sun 05-Jul-09 22:37:11

What are the gentle ways?

thisisyesterday Sun 05-Jul-09 22:55:03

but even if it is comfort/habit what is wrong with that?
a baby's need to be comforted is even more important than their need for food IMO.

I read about a study done once where baby monkeys were in a cage with 2 pretend mothers. one delivered milk, but was made of metal.
the other one had no food, but was soft.
the baby monkeys spent most of their time cuddling the soft mummy, and only going to the other one when hungry.

babies NEED comfort, they need YOU to be there when they cry.
it's ok to have him in your bed, or to feed him, or to just cuddle him to sleep.

they're only little once and it's such a short time in the grand scheme of things.

thisisyesterday Sun 05-Jul-09 22:56:07

i'd recommend the no-cry sleep solution by elizabeth pantley if you want a gentle sleep training guide

ltrue Sun 05-Jul-09 23:03:20

Lots of food for thought. But it's such a relief to realise that I am not the only mum at this stage getting a regular wake up call in the wee small hours.

ShowOfHands Mon 06-Jul-09 08:45:07

Yes, the NCSS by Pantley as recommended by Pantley.

That rod for your own back thing is tosh. If you were only allowing your child to eat tofu and mung beans, sleep on a bed of silk and wear only clothes hand woven by blind nuns, then yes, perhaps you are putting yourself in an untenable position. But cuddling and feeding the little baby who is growing up so fast that in a blink they'll move out, dear me no.

You sound like a lovely Mum. Don't listen to half of the my baby sleeps through all the time/asks only for organic veg and is already walking/talking/reading at 9 months talk. You'd be surprised what goes on behind closed doors.

therealthing Mon 06-Jul-09 13:59:35

Just wanted to say, I didn't "leave my baby to cry". I was going in at regular intervals, starting with every 30 secs, then every minute, then every minute and a half and so on. I would never have left him to cry.

It is hard but so is getting through your days having had months of broken sleep!!

If you find that hard to do, you could try the "Baby Whisperers" approach. She stays in the room and picks up, comforts and puts down again. This approach takes longer tho.

I also gave water in a bottle in case DS was thirsty.

I wouldn't have carried on with controlled crying for a long time. It should only take a short time for it to work. I agree all children are different and for some this approach just doesn't work.

If you can carry on and are happy to get up in the night, then fine but I wasn't after nearly nine months. The sleep deprivation was killing me.

bethdivine Mon 06-Jul-09 14:05:08

people's perceptions of "sleeping through" are also different. a mum at baby massage told me her 12wk old was sleeping through 7pm - 7am. what this actually meant was bottle at 7pm, nap in moses basket in living room, another bottle and change at 10pm, take upstairs to cot, sleep till 7am.

A work colleague told me her DS was sleeping through then added "I only have to go in 4 or 5 times to put his dummy back in when he can't find it"!

A lot of people just [whisper] lie

heliotrope Mon 06-Jul-09 14:06:11

My son woke for feeds in night until 12m, then I said no more boob in the night and my partner did the putting back down for a couple of weeks. He still woke in the night though until about 18 months, and still does sometimes at nearly 2.
I think it is fine at 8m but if you are knackered and resenting it you could try baby whisperer suggestions as others have said. If you can keep putting him back in cot it helps with habits I think.

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