13 month old screams madly if I leave the room

[veggiegirl]

Hiya, need some help, Boo is now 13 months, she was a bit clingy before but now as soon as I or hubby leave the room she screams madly, stopping as soon as we come back.. It's driving us mad, we've tried leaving her for up to 20 mins but she just keeps going and gets all worked up. Any ideas? She's also scared of the hoover unless I carry her while hoovering. I went away on holiday with her and she was fine for the week, but not out of my sight so i wonder if it's made it worse. She also ate lots on holiday and now is comepletly off breakfast , lunch and dinner.... getting desperate.

On a positive note, my vegetable garden is sprouting nicely and I have my first cauliflower tonight.

Veggiegirl

[HecatesTwopenceworth]

Just my opinion, but I think carry on as you're doing. She will come to learn that you go, but you come back and she is safe. Crying isn't nice, but it won't hurt her in any way.

Build regular 'mum out of sight for a few minutes' sessions into each day. perhaps announce that you are going and will be back in 5 minutes. She'll come to understand.

She's only tiny, it won't last forever.

[HSMM]

Sing as you leave the room and re-enter still singing 30 seconds later and see how she is. This is what I do with small children and after a while you can build up the time, but the singing really helps (as long as no-one can hear you!)

[HecatesTwopenceworth]

That's a really good idea HSMM. You're not gone-gone (iyswim) if they can still hear you.

[veggiegirl]

Thanks for that I will try the singing as she loves that anyway, and glad I'm not being really horrible by leaving .. am checking that everything is fine with her before I leave the room anyhow... any ideas on the gone off food bit? or do you think it's all to do with playing up a bit at the moment?

[GentlyDoingIt]

I sang my way through a similar phase with my own DD! It helped because not only could she still hear me, but gave the impression that I wasn't freaked out by HER freaking out. Good luck!

[Pyrocanthus]

Singing is a brilliant idea - it will help her learn that you don't cease to exist when you're not in view.

Eating - perhaps she was having a bit of a growth spurt and is less hungry now? It's been very hot as well, which might have put her off her food. Is she having plenty of fluids? Keep offering food, but don't panic and don't force. Don't worry about set meal times if she'll take a little bit several times a day. If it really starts to worry you, call the health visitor, but babies rarely starve themselves.

[Pyrocanthus]

Oh, and hoovers are scary. I think she's perfectly reasonable not to want to be at floor level when it's on.

[veggiegirl]

fab ideas yes hoovers can be a bit scary, it was really interesting that she doesn't freak out when i hold her and hoover but if she's in the other room and hears it she screams..she did the same when I was mowing the lawn....am giving her lots of water which she is taking well and bits and bobs through the day but just no big meal times, hope she goes out of this phase soon.

[Pyrocanthus]

She knows she's safe from the hoover monster if you're in charge...