My 3yr-old is playing a fairly constant game of 'being a baby' in which she copies her little brother.
Things that are fine for a 1yr-old are not so great for a 3yr-old.
We go to an aquarium and he staggers up to the glass to bang on the glass and point at the fish (cute) so she does the same so people will say she's cute too.
He throws his supper on the floor and I don't react, so she does it to see if she's allowed to do it too (she's not).
I realise she is jealous and it makes me sad because I am obviously not getting it right.
As soon as any stranger makes any comment about how cute ds is, dd immediately starts 'talking like a baby' (sort of ga ga goo goo stuff) in the hope of being told she is cute too. The silly thing is that when she gets attention in her own right she still becomes all babyish. She equates cuteness and all things positive with being a baby.
She hated ds when he arrived and I think we overdid the "isn't the baby lovely" stuff.
I do have higher expectations of her than her brother because she is THREE, not one. She doesn't understand this, and while I don't want to make the situation worse by making her feel hard done by I can't just let her behave like a baby all time. It is inappropriate for her to be grunting at people instead of saying hello, or plunging her hands into her yogurt and wiping it all over the table and her head.
I talk about important big girl things. I point out the fun things we do because she's a big girl, not a baby. I spend time with her one-on-one. She gets lots of positive attention.
I think she loves her little brother, but I sometimes think she makes a big deal of liking him just to please me.
I am getting something wrong, but I can't seem to step back and see what. I feel sad that she is insecure. I am also bloody fed up with my beautiful, bright, funny little girl pretending to be a stupid baby all the time.
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Behaviour/development
Surely my 1yr-old should be copying / learning from my 3yr-old, not vice versa?
7 replies
HuffwardlyRudge · 02/07/2009 12:46
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