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19 month old ds is biting, how do you deal with this?

(15 Posts)
dizzymare Wed 01-Jul-09 21:02:19

19 month old ds has recently started biting, but only when he's over excited hmm. Today, I was bitten trying to catch the little runaway. What apart from obviously saying No, can I do. He thinks, I am jokinghmm, has anyone got a magic remedy!

Meglet Wed 01-Jul-09 21:15:11

My toddler only bit me a handful of times. I was very calm and explained firmly that it wasn't nice to bite, it might make people cry and he would have time out if he did it again. I thought that if i flew off the deep end he'd think it was a great game and do it for attention.

dizzymare Wed 01-Jul-09 21:20:25

If I tell him 'No' he looks at me and smileshmm, and I'm pretty sure I'm using a 'mummy isn't pleased type voice', oh and a frownblush But my message doesn't sink in at all, actually thinking about it I'm not even convinced he understands what 'No' really means, or he'd quit surely?

MrsBadger Wed 01-Jul-09 21:26:22

dd (now 22m) went through a brief phase of this

I say very firmly but not shouting, so no chance of thinking it's a joke. 'NO. We DO NOT bite.' and put her down/move away.
Obv she is cross at this: 'But dd, you BIT me. I can't hold you / play with you / etc if you BITE me.'
These days I can spot the pre-bite cues (iyswim) and say it & put her down before she lunges.

If she bites someone else (dh, other child) I do the same thing but she has to do a 'sorry cuddle' for the bitten too.

MrsBadger Wed 01-Jul-09 21:27:12

(NB we don't have time out or similar sanctions so can't comment in that respect)

dizzymare Wed 01-Jul-09 21:33:09

I did put him down quite quickly when he did it to me earlier, mainly through shock. It might have been a little drop actually blushHe cried at first when he got put down, but as soon as I said no to him and showed him what he'd done to me, the little monkey just smiles and thinks it's a jokeshock

Do you put your child down and make sit for a while, like time out? I don't know if he's too young still.

dizzymare Wed 01-Jul-09 21:34:30

Whoops, am too slow at typing it seemsblush

dizzymare Wed 01-Jul-09 22:05:09

Does anyone else want to come and tell me how to parent my childgrin

Reesie Thu 02-Jul-09 12:44:10

My sweet, lovely dd1 is a biter. She is an angelic child 98% of the time, and a demonic biter (a la hannibal lector) for the remainder.

dd is now 2 1/2 and will still bite if she gets in a argument over a toy with another child especially if she is tired (which is often as she has unfortunately dropped her daytime nap sad.

Remember that unfortunatly it is common (quarter of toddlers will bite at some point) and that the phase will pass.

I do exactly the same as Mrs badger and it is definatly getting less and less frequent. It's a horrible thing to go through as a mum especially if they bite other children.

I personally wouldn't get tempted to bite them back despite being advised by members of my family. I want to set an example to dd as I would never intentionally hurt anybody. In my mind it's the same as the parent who shouts to their children 'Don't you **ing shout and swear at me you ****' hmm

dizzymare Thu 02-Jul-09 19:11:50

I'd never bite him back, however tempting it is sometimes hmm. It's the fact he thinks he's funny which is getting to me, and just in the course of today he's attempted to bite me several times. I'm half tempted to make his days that boring he's got no opportunity to get excited blush

Elk Thu 02-Jul-09 19:21:15

My dd2 used to bite. I just did what you are doing, I always stared her straight in the eyes whilst saying No biting and either put down/walk off.
She is now 3.6 and doesn't bite anyone apart from herself. She has just started biting her arm when I tell her off! I think she is doing it to try to make me feel guilty.

Reesie Thu 02-Jul-09 19:24:49

Out of interest Elk - did anything coincide with your dd's biting cessation? (Just looking for anything extra that I could try!)

dizzymare Thu 02-Jul-09 19:28:23

I don't know what I'm going to do if he does it to another child, which is the main reason I want it to stop as soon as possible. How do you handle that, and another parent, because I know I'd be mortified if he was bitten by another childshock. It's bound to happen one day I guess, but in the meantimeI want a way of preventing him doing it, because he bloody hurts.

Elk Thu 02-Jul-09 20:22:41

I think it just sort of gradually reduced, I can't really remember. Luckily she only bit me and her big sister so that was easy enough to deal with. She just used to hit other children!!!(Doesn't do that no either)

As long as you firmly say no to them and apologise to the other child and parent the vast majority of other parents are fine. I used to stick really close to her at toddler group/soft play areas so as soon as her little mouth opened towards another childs limb I grabbed her so she couldn't bite them.

She did get really badly bitten by another toddler at a soft play area (never found out who), her whole cheek was bruised and swollen for 10 days and she had 8 perfect teeth marks in blood on her face. I think she may have stopped biting then!!!

Despite what this post sounds like dd2 is actually a lovely little girl who is more likely to hurt someone by hugging them too hard.

Elk Thu 02-Jul-09 20:22:43

I think it just sort of gradually reduced, I can't really remember. Luckily she only bit me and her big sister so that was easy enough to deal with. She just used to hit other children!!!(Doesn't do that no either)

As long as you firmly say no to them and apologise to the other child and parent the vast majority of other parents are fine. I used to stick really close to her at toddler group/soft play areas so as soon as her little mouth opened towards another childs limb I grabbed her so she couldn't bite them.

She did get really badly bitten by another toddler at a soft play area (never found out who), her whole cheek was bruised and swollen for 10 days and she had 8 perfect teeth marks in blood on her face. I think she may have stopped biting then!!!

Despite what this post sounds like dd2 is actually a lovely little girl who is more likely to hurt someone by hugging them too hard.

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