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Anyone else feel the least favourite in the home..? ds&dd all for daddy..

(12 Posts)
shhhh Tue 30-Jun-09 19:51:24

Im a sahm so with the lo's 24/7. Dh works and can be away from home a fair bit..dd is 4 and ds 2.

Obviously when dh isn't around the lo's have no choice but to come to me but when dh is home all I hear is "daddy do it, daddy look, etc" They want daddy to do everything and anything and never seem to want me for anything.sad.

Im the one to do the majority of the disipline and I admit I am a shouter at times but I do also do lots of nice things for the lo's but never seems to get noticed.

There always seem a reluctance to do anything with me, ie showering "I want daddy etc" or walk with me "no I want daddy" sounds petty I know BUT it saddens me..sad.

What am I doing wrong..? What can I do..?

FAQinglovely Tue 30-Jun-09 19:53:08

you're not doing anything wrong - they don't see him as often - it's more of a "novelty" for them to see him.

BUT be prepared for them to stay that way and start to embrace it - I have 3 "daddy's boys" (8,5 and 2) always have been and always will be. He's unemployed at the moment - and I'm at home too so they see us both equally and it's "DADDY, DADDY, DADDY"

I use the opportunity to go and do what I want to do grin

OldLadyKnowsNothing Tue 30-Jun-09 19:55:05

There's nothing you're doing wrong, and probably nothing you can do about it either, except enjoy the peace you get when DH is home and playing with the lo.

He has the Novelty Factor because he's away so much - you're just there, every day, all day, doing the mundane stuff, and they're too little to appreciate just how much that is.

plimple Tue 30-Jun-09 19:56:01

Make the most of it!! As soon as he gets home relax. It's normal, he's hardly there so they make a fuss when he is. Encourage it, it's nice to spend time with Daddy.
At night I always say to DD "who loves you" and usually she says "Mummy and Daddy", then I ask her "who do you love?" last week it was "Love my bottom" tonight it was " Love Daddy," "anyone else?" "Love Daddy beard!"

piscesmoon Tue 30-Jun-09 20:02:06

You are not doing anything wrong! I would make the most of it and, as plimple says, encourage it. It isn't a competition-they love you to bits!

shhhh Tue 30-Jun-09 20:09:33

wow,so many say enjoy it ! grin.

Seems an easy solution but I can't help but feel that maybe im a bad mummy hence them wanting dh..sad.

I can see myself at times wanting to bribe them.."mummy get you this" or "give mummy a hug" etc...sounds pathetic BUT I guess my way of feeling loved.?

FAQinglovely Tue 30-Jun-09 20:29:44

I'll admit it didn't come easy with DS1, but it does get easier over time and is absolutely NO indication of your parenting skills smile.

So next time he's home they say "I want to go with Daddy" - say "ok" - and plan something for yourself to grin

OldLadyKnowsNothing Tue 30-Jun-09 20:42:27

I'm pretty sure they're not behaving like that because you're a "bad mummy", it's just that they're excited to see daddy. Maybe you should go away for a couple of days and see what kind of reception you get when you return? grin

shhhh Tue 30-Jun-09 20:42:46

Thanks FAQ. nice to see there are others in the same boat.
I tend to feel a bit left out and a bit hmm/sad
Guess it will get easier...

LEMONADEGIRL Tue 30-Jun-09 21:35:20

You are doing nothing wrong and sound like a great mum.

You are there for them all the time, their dad can't be so when he is they want his attention more. They feel so secure you with you that they can be like this - and know that you are always there.

I know it must get you down but they do love you

shhhh Tue 30-Jun-09 21:47:42

Thankyou LG. In fact dh says the same... as if they know I will always be there so don't feel the need to always show me love...says I always get the "attitude" from them as well as they know they can and that they know I will still be there when daddy returns to work. Guess it does make sense..

Oldlady,good suggestion grin.

Lol, just remembering ds in fact yesterday..I only put rubbish into the outside bin and when I came back in he ran over saying "I missed you mummy" while hugging my legs grin. Now I

FiveGoMadInDorset Tue 30-Jun-09 21:54:43

I wish DD and DS want Daddy slightly more.

Enjoy especially as you look after them on your own as well.

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