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Anyone else got a v whingey 18 month old?

(12 Posts)
janx Tue 30-Jun-09 13:59:53

Ds is our second baby - dd is 4. I was under the illusion that the second baby was meant to be the easy one hmm. He spends a lot of his time wailing - having tantrums, clingy onto my leg. I kind of feel at the end of my tether with him. Basically his day starts too early (5.30) so he is tired and v grumpy...he wails until he gets his breakfast (with dp) - slight reprieve while he wolfs down cereal - wails afterwards until I get up and bf. Happy for a bit then wails until we go out (gets his shoes out and stands by the door wailing and screaming..will stop if I carry him around, but diff when trying to get dressed and tend to poor dd who has just got up. Screams and throws toys around if he doesn't get his own way. Happy when out - but seems v whingey at home....anyone else in the same boat? - is it a phase?

jellyrolly Tue 30-Jun-09 19:06:31

Yep, I've got one of them. And the biceps to match.

Ds1 was like that at the same age too and he grew out of it (just as ds2 started grin).

You could always get the gp to give him the once over to put your mind at rest?

janx Tue 30-Jun-09 21:26:02

How did you cope with it? I think I am loosing my sense of humour

jellyrolly Tue 30-Jun-09 22:01:40

I moan about it to other people a lot! I certainly wouldn't say I cope with it very well. Until ds2 was about 6 months old I smugly used to say "I've never raised my voice to either of them" and now I end up yelling when the whole day seems to consist of crying, whinging, tantruming. I suppose I know it'll stop eventually as ds1 was the same so that helps.

Practically, I just try and do what I was going to do anyway regardless of the wailing so at least we can still eat, get dressed etc. Getting out is good as you know, boys are like dogs. It's obvious, annoying and not at all helpful, but if you get furious then they get worse.

I've started saying, if you stop shouting at mummy I'll pick you up and amazingly that sometimes works. Of course then you find you need both hands and it all starts again.

And almost everyone else's toddler is doing the same thing at some point.

Relax. You're at the end of you're tether. There's no place else to go wink.

ParkDweller Wed 01-Jul-09 00:34:50

You are living my life! Weird reading your post as i could have written it about my DS. Also have a 4 yr old DD who was always happy, loving, compliant at this age.

I also feel at the end of my tether and am barely holding onto my enthusiasm for parenting. (Well actually i guess i have pretty much lost it for now.)

I can't do deal-making as jellyrolly suggests as my DS has very little language. (In fact i think a lot of his anger may stem from the frustration of not being able to communicate.) How is your DS's communication Janx? I have just began to wonder if mine is having some developmental difficulties...

I appreciate hearing jellyrolly's thoughts, but i'm not convinced that this behaviour is so common: I keep wondering if there is something wrong with my DS, but i feel too scared/guilty to suggest it to anyone else.

Sorry Janx, i have been no help at all. I just spilled out as i was so relieved to find your thread.

janx Wed 01-Jul-09 08:20:53

Thanks for advice jelly
Parldweller - hi - seems we are in the same boat and yes like you my dd is happy, independent and compliant.
My ds has very little language and only this morning I was thinking there might be something amiss. DP is very dyslexic and I wonder if ds is too. I think he is very frustrated and so angry and does seem more whingey than any other little boy at his nursery. I am thinking of going to the doctors just to have a chat about his development.

janx Wed 01-Jul-09 08:21:41

I am obviously dyslexic ParkDweller grin

meandjoe Wed 01-Jul-09 11:44:03

bump! ds was like this, started getting much better when he could talk more around 20 months but it all depends on the child. Sending loads of sympathy though, it's horrendous listening to crying and screaming all day long. All I can suggest is what others have said with getting out more and making sure ds has a load of interesting new things to distract him from ptentioal screaming fits (doesn't have to be new expensive stuff, the basket filled with plasteic pegs was a big hit in our house when I needed to get stuff done!) I can also relate to the waking up early thing, my ds would wake at 5am every day til about 3 months ago and now thank God sleeps through til 6 or 7 which has miracullously when the tantrums and screaming calmed down a bit. That coupled with his language development seems to have mellowed him a lot. xxx

Supercherry Wed 01-Jul-09 12:32:58

Snap! My DS, 17mths, is also a bit of a whinger, that is, unless, he is constantly entertained. To be honest, I prefer the playing, entertaining, constantly being on my feet, to the whining so this is how I cope.

Keep changing the scenery- garden, upstairs, bit of TV, park, visit people, baby group etc.

The whinging around the supermarket, which I cannot avoid because I take my 80yr old nan food shopping, completely halted on the most recent trip on production of a lollipop. I have resisted this kind of junk for 17mths but, other than the sticky hands, hair, face and trolley, I actually found the shopping trip quite pleasant. I brushed his teeth when I got back!

Gradually though, as DS is getting older, he is getting easier and I have to say I never thought I had this much patience and sometimes, I am actually quite proud of myself for not losing it completely. blush

ilikesunshine Wed 01-Jul-09 14:37:02

Yep, in same boat here, and have been ever since ds2 was about 8 months old. Also have DS1 who is 4 - generally very good, but he's also starting to get fed up of DS2 constant whingeing. DS2 is now nearly 2, and we are starting to have slightly longer phases of less whingeing. Also, now I just tell him to come and find me when he's finished crying, and that sometimes work - he'll come over and say "stopped crying now". I think language plays a big part, but I do think some children are just generally more whingey than others and you've got to accept/learn to ignore it - easier said than done I know!

janx Wed 01-Jul-09 15:43:13

Thanks everyone - we go out loads - basically I am out as soon as I can get ready. What I find really difficult is the time before we go out...and as ds gets up earlier than dd he gets really angry that we are not out as soon as he wants. He screams a really horrible high pitch ear piercing scream - I feel like I am beholden to his every whim at the moment which isn't fair on dd who needs a bit of attention from me too. Sometimes i am in such a hurry to go out I realize I havn't even brushed my hair
He also finds it quite difficult around new people so will burst into tears if I meet someone new or someone new smiles/talks to him. He is very clingy.
Funny enough Supercherry he loves the supermarket and will quite happily sit in the trolley.

TiredFi Sat 04-Jul-09 13:29:06

Thank goodness there are others having the same issues. My 20 month old was really good until a couple of months ago and now all he does is whine and cry at everything.
I have been at my wits end. I have spent the last month thinking that it is all my fault.
To make it worse my friend has a little girl who is on the surface "a perfect child". Eats everything very outgoing, is etc. This of course makes me feel even worse.
I spent yesterday crying and today the same as I am so worn out
In addition he seems to say 'No' for everything even when he wants it which is very confusing.
I hope this is a phase as I don't think I can take much more.

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