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Suppport thread for anyone with a baby who isn't doing as much as their same-aged peers

(16 Posts)
CurryMaid Mon 29-Jun-09 20:32:31

Hi all,

Just wondered if anyone else wanted to contribute to a thread for people whose babies seem to be developing more slowly than their peers.

Although my DD, 10.5 months is very good on social skills - waved at 6 months, first word at 9 months she isn't too fast on the gross motor skills front.

It didn't used to bother me but now I'm getting sick of the smug looks from (some, not all!) Mums with crawling and cruising babies and the questions 'isn't she moving yet?' (e.g. from her grandparents in EVERY weekly phone call). I hadn't been to toddler group for a while and when I went last week all the babies who were younger than her were crawling, while she's still sitting.

So, just wondered really, if anyone was in a similar boat with a child of any age really!

mummiesnet Mon 29-Jun-09 20:52:29

My DS was like this, he's 22 months and has caught up now. Seems almost silly how upset I used to get about his little friends running about when he didn't.

I really think sensitivity is everything though - I had an NCT group 'friend' who used to crow about how bright her DS was becuase he crawled at 6 months even when she knew I was worried about my DS.

fizzpops Mon 29-Jun-09 21:03:21

My DD was like this and crawled at 11 mths and is walking at 14mths. How ridiculous to say crawling is anything to do with intellect, I would say you had more to crow about on that score if your DD was talking at 9mths.

I had moments like you too. In company she is really quiet and just takes it all in so it was only recently anyone I knew had even seen her crawling. She also babbles away when she is at home but is silent and hardly even smiles when around a lot of people.

I know she is advanced in a lot of areas and I try and remember that (quietly to myself) when we are around others. I always used to think as well that barring any real developmental issues they will all be walking eventually so any perceived advantage will be over with - that is when your DD will start to shine.

kalo12 Mon 29-Jun-09 21:15:43

i am a spec needs teacher and have an MA in developmental movement. crawling normally occurs between 6 and 13 months, the averaghe is ten months. Not all babies crawl though.

language skills and motor skills develop in different areas of the brain so it is not unusual for a baby to develop one of these skills at a time, (my ds is 16 months, very active but no words at all)

my nephew didn't walk til he was two, he's perfectly normal, bright, healthy, although he never ever stops talking (6 years old now)

your dd sounds normal to me.

you can encourage crawling by putting a rolled up cusion under them to support their weight so that they can play with a toy without geting tired, and encourage crusing by not putting any of those silly soft shoes on. Babies need bare feet to cruise and to learn to walk, and should only wear shoes once walking outside.


walkingwomb Mon 29-Jun-09 21:22:13

my DD is almost 14 months and hasn't crawled and only recently started moving her feet at her walker. I am not expecting her to walk anytime soon. the comments from other people can get a bit boring, but I am happy that she will do things at her own pace. Her cousin didn't walk until he was over 2, so I know that you just have to wait and ti will happen.

manitz Mon 29-Jun-09 21:36:58

op worried me a bit ds is almost ten months and hasnt waved or moved yet. i think if he opened his mouth and said a word id fall down in a faint. today he decided he'd crawl on his back using his feet/legs and head. he is not a bright boy...

Bibithree Mon 29-Jun-09 21:43:13

My dts didn't crawl until 14m, didn't walk until 20. They are 23m now and only have a few words each, hello, Mammy, Daddy, drink, ball, up, down, dummy etc. They were very late talkers and were referred to speach and language therapy who only saw them once and discharged them (making me feel rather paranoid), and have been seen by physiotherapists who also discharged them, but made me feel less paranoid by actually spending time checking they were physically okay and just late developers rather than having problems. They have one to one with a lady from Portage once a week who plays with them and notes their development and will continue to do so until they reach the "average" for their peers.
I have worried myself sick over them, especially as dd1 was textbook in everything, crawled at 8m, walked at 12m, had about a gazillion words by 23m, and it was hard to remind myself not to compare.
BUT ... I am seeing them catching up and other twin mothers have reassured me they will be completely caught up by about 3.

CurryMaid Tue 30-Jun-09 10:41:06

This is all good to hear. Manitz, sorry, really didn't mean to worry you - your DS sounds a lot more mobile than my DD so their strengths lie in different areas I think.

Kalo, that's interesting, thanks. What I really hate is the babycentre updates (have cancelled them now) that say things like - 'your baby is 10 months old and will now have mastered crawling', and at 12 months 'this month your baby will learn to walk'.

I know they put a disclaimer on saying all babies develop differently but the way they are written still makes you feel as though everyone else's baby is doing something yours can't.

Phish Tue 30-Jun-09 11:40:11

CurryMaid, my daughter is 18 months and isnt yet walking independently. She's more than happy for any willing victim to walk her around all day long holding on to her hands though (which is back breaking). She didnt move at all until 12 months and then it was bottom shuffling. At 17 months she began doing a little crawling and pulling herself up to standing and cruising.

She's been assessed by a paediatrician and paed physio and all say there is nothing wrong with her, she's just lacking confidence so that's what we're working on.

However, like your dd her social skills are great and she can now string short sentences together so like others have said I think some children are good at one thing and others another.

However, I too tend to avoid playgroup and certain mums I know because I'm sick of the comparisons and little remarks.

Your daughter sounds like she's doing really well.

Mawgan Tue 30-Jun-09 13:12:35

My ds didn't crawl until 13 months, then crawled and walked on the same day! He is now 16 months, only says ta occasionally, doesn't point to things, does clap and wave but doesn't seem to be that keen on talking. I've worried myself sick especially as he was so still for so long, but now I'm trying to relax and let him get to it in his own time. It's easy for me to say that now, but believe me your dd sounds fab and not walking and crawling do actually make your life easier! Enjoy it while it lasts and make the most of the fact that she sounds like she's going to be a good communicator.

Reallytired Tue 30-Jun-09 13:23:53

My son was under the local child development centre for four years. He had 18 months of physio, orthorics, a small amount SLT, and years and years audiology. He did nothing early. I worried myself sick.

Now at seven years old you would never guess he had any developmental problems. He is happy and confident. His teacher comments that he is weak at PE, but I just shrug my shoulders at that one. I am just relieved that he can run and jump, even if not well.

He has overtaken many of the earlier starters which shows that development is a journey rather than a race.

tvfriend Tue 30-Jun-09 22:16:52

DD is 2 in a couple of weeks and she has only started walking independently a few weeks ago and didn't crawl until just after she turned 1.
I got a bit sick of all the comments too but now she has reached the stage where she doesn't want to go in her pram, wants to wander off (albeit fairly slowly at the moment)I can see the benefits of a late walker. I have a DS who is 6 months and at least it has meant she hasn't been able to run off while I'm feeding him etc.
She also only has a few words but in the last couple of weeks she has been saying new ones most days.
She has been checked by paeds, physios etc and nothing wrong with her at all.

simpson Tue 30-Jun-09 22:21:11

currymaid - have canceled my babycentre updates too.

DD is 17mths and not walking and it is starting to p**s me off the way people keep asking "is DD walking yet" not "how is she" iyswim.

She didn't sit up till she was 10mths and crawled at 11mths which she still does but faster!!

However her talking is really good and she is starting to say small sentences and can sing nursery rhymes, count etc.

manitz Wed 01-Jul-09 12:48:58

sorry was being a bit tongue in cheek. he's my third and i know they all do it differently but he's way behind the other two at the same age and it nags at the back of my head very slightly. definitely cancel any babycentre stuff, there is no point following those guidelines. just check when you go to the hv checks - cant remember when your next one is.

ds is also tiny, like the other two were and i get a bit upset when i see a child the same age but bigger, underlines it all for me and wonder if he's underfed and that's why he's not developing in time. always something to fret about...

fatslag Wed 01-Jul-09 13:09:18

ds2 (just 2) has the opposite problem. He is an acrobat, climbs ladders in the park, walks across rope bridges, goes down slides, goes up and down stairs, climbs into his brother's cabin bed and currently has a black eye after standing up on a chair that tipped over.

On the other hand, he hardly talks and most of it is pretty unintelligible. I guess he has about 50 "words" (often just sounds that he attaches to concepts). Other kids his age are producing sentences, the best he can do is "ba ba, waa-waa" for good-bye doggie.

I go through phases of worrying myself sick because his older brother has HFA, but on the other hand, he points, claps, waves and many of the words he does have are sociable ones: bonjour, au'voir, merci, tiens, so I just keep telling myself that he can't be good at everything.

Egg Wed 01-Jul-09 13:12:46

My DD only walked at 16 months (crawled about 11 months) but is already walking as well as her twin brother who walked at 12 months. You would never know she has been walking for such a short space of time (they are nearly 18 months now). They can both run now!

Neither of them can say any proper words either. Am not worried yet! DS1 was a late talker.

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