DD copies everyone

[MissM]

This might sound really silly, but should I worry that DD (3) endlessly copies other children, even her little brother (19 months)? When she meets other kids in the park she follows them around and wants to go on anything they're on (they often get fed up with her and try to run away). When she's with her cousins she wants to do everything they do to the extent of only eating what they eat and refusing to do anything if they're not doing it (we have to pretend they're getting dressed/going home/putting on shoes etc to get her to do things). If DS is playing she wants to do whatever he's doing and often follows him around.

I worry that she's not secure enough in who she is to be able to do her own thing. Which is daft because she's very confident in lots of other ways, speaks her mind, goes into new situations without a big fuss etc. etc. I would expect her to copy older kids (her cousin is almost 5 and she worships her), but not younger ones. Or is all this copying just perfectly normal?

[13lucky]

I could have written your post! My dd is exactly the same...even copies all the baby noises that my ds (8 months) makes...this can be very irritating actually! But yes, crawls around the floor after the baby and follows children around in the park. I don't know why she does it and also worry about whether it is normal. I also worry that she will get into a lot of trouble at school if she just copies what the naughty children do!!! Sorry not to be of any use but wanted you to know you're not alone. Will be interested in any replies you get to this one.

[MissM]

Relieved to hear it's not just me, and that I'm not the only one worrying. Is there anyone else out there?

[herbgarden]

My DS (3 in a couple of weeks) does the same thing. If we're with other kids - even if he doesn't know them for eg they get a drink, he wants his out the bag (when til then he wasn't bothered), my DH puts his shorts on and DS wants his shorts on, you take your jumper off he does it and lots of things similar to that when he's playing with other kids - I just wondered the other day whether I should be worried that he doesn't seem to have a mind of his own. I can watch another child do something and 5 seconds later he'll be over to me asking to do whatever they're doing. Are all at it ??

[MissM]

Anyone else? Or are we in an anxious minority?

[piscesmoon]

I wouldn't worry-she is very little, I'm sure she will grow out of it.

[pippylongstockings]

Not quite the same but my DS1 constantly pretends to be other people. And he wants us to all join in - be Aunty/Uncles/Friends/Characters from TV etc. and insists on us calling him his cousins/friends/characters name and our poor DS2 mainly gets to be the little sister of said friend/character.

It drives us bonkers - we just want to be ourselves.

keep on telling yourself it's just a phase - they do tend to idol worship.

[MissM]

DD does that as well Pippy, exactly the same. I don't mind that so much (although it is a bit irritating when it lasts all day, or she changes characters half way through and we all have to change) - it's more the tagging after other kids that worries me cos I wonder if it means she's not secure enough in who she is. Other kids don't seem to follow her around!

I guess it's just a phase and I shouldn't worry unless she's still doing it at 15.

Thanks all.

[pippylongstockings]

MissM see, the wonders of mumsnet is now you have reassured me!