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socialising

(11 Posts)
misunderstood Sun 15-May-05 00:49:00

What age do children need to start socialising.
Why does everyone seem so keen to pack the kids off to pre school at such an early age?
What is wrong with painting,cooking ,reading etc at home with your children on a one to one basis?
Do they miss out if you don't send them?

misunderstood Sun 15-May-05 00:50:12

Meant to add,does they make you selfish or over protective,not wanting to let go?

bobbybob Sun 15-May-05 01:41:29

No you are not selfish, you are doing what is best for you. I believe Children start to talk about "friends" (as in their own friends - not just your friends children) at about 3 or 3.5. So I guess that's when they will want to "socialise". How old is your child/children?

Fran1 Sun 15-May-05 09:06:48

My dd is 2.5 and i have lots of friends with children so she has always been around children. She also started pre-school at two, mainly for childcare reasons as i work p/time but also because imo it helps develop their confidence and encourage social skills which can never be a bad thing. My dd loves pre-school, always comes home full of beans with new songs/words she has learnt. Last time she told me she was "balancing" on her toes, never heard her use that word before.
Nothing wrong with doing it at home, in fact vital for a child's development. Dd is only at pre-school two mornings a week, so she has mummy one-to-one the rest of the time when we cook, paint, read etc
I feel she has the best of both worlds, wouldn't want her in fulltime nursery where someone else was doing all that with her. But i like the fact she has other adults in her life who put a different perspective on things and the she learns how to share and use appropriate behaviour.
I don't think children will necessarily miss out by not going, but i do know that teachers of reception classes report that children who have never before been away from parents can be spotted easily, in terms of they may be a little slower to grasp some of the concepts of "going" to school, and often may appear a little slower in some areas of their development. But this is not to say they don't catch up, and still isn't necessarily an argument for pre-school. Learning things at early stages is not an indication of high IQ/degree status/enormous success in adulthood.
I specifically chose my pre-school out of three because it has a more "traditional" playgroup feel rather than a formal, structured place of education. Their emphasis is on play and that is where children learn the greatest life skills.

Good discussion to start misunderstood! you can see i like the subject

Fran1 Sun 15-May-05 09:09:50

Selfish?

Depends on your reasons i think. No if you have made a descision that you are happy and so is your child without involvement of pre-school.

If one has an attitude more along the lines of i don't want to lose my baby, don't want them to grow up, must wrap them in cotton wool. Then yes, i think there is an element of selfishness there!

KBear Sun 15-May-05 09:10:56

Fran1 - you put that so well. I was going to say similar things and decided to just agree with you!

Oh and misunderstood, I know how you feel about letting go, it's your baby, of course you don't want to let him/her go. My DS is 3 and when he started pre-school on his own after christmas I was lost. no hand to hold on the way home, no buggy to push. Soon got used to a couple of hours all to myself though!

bobbybob Sun 15-May-05 09:13:38

Apparently new entrant teachers really notice a child who can't put their coat on their hook, open their own lunch box and handle packets - that sort of thing. As ds's nursery they seem to do everything for him, they don't have the time to wait for 2 year olds to complete these tasks I guess and it doesn't help him in the long run.

At home he has his little jobs to help prepare him for the real world.

ambrosia Sun 15-May-05 09:47:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

misunderstood Sun 15-May-05 19:12:31

Hi again,not had a chance to get back on mumsnet!!!
Bobbybob my two children are 4 in August and just 2.
Bobbybob,totally agree about letting them help themselves,ie putting their coats on etc.AS you say it is a case of time at a pre school where As at home you can be more patient.
Oreparing them for the real world is vital.Ok so they will learn how to make a car out of cereal packets or make a pasta picture etc but also that bond you they build up at home with mum/dad doing day to day things i think i important.
My kids love to help in the garden,do household chores with me,cooking etc and we make it fun.

I just find it strange that when you first take your child to the mother and toddler group,you stay with them ,you drink coffee,they play.

Then you take them to pre school and they get upset when you leave ,and you are told go as quickly as possible and not to prolong it.

Now to me should,nt that be the other way round.
When they are upset you are their for them.
It just seems you take them to a mother and toddler group,lull them into a false sercurity and then pre school you are just expected to leave them when they need you.

Hulababy Sun 15-May-05 19:17:18

Myy DD has played WITH children, not just along side them, from being about 2.5yo I guess, maybe a bit earlier. But this has steadily increased with time and ceertainly picked up big time when she started her new nursery in September (so she'd have been 2y 5m). She is now 3y 1m and has a couple of best friends at nursery, plus other friends she talks about and plays with too, as well as other friends she plays with outside of nursery.

I sent my DD to nursery at 21 weeks for 2 days a week, so that I could work. However, having seen how much she has enjoyed it and thrived there, I would also send a child to nursery for a couple of days/sessions weekly regardless of whether I worked anyway. But that is just our experience. Plus every child is different.

Rarrie Mon 16-May-05 02:40:53

I don't know. My DD is only 18 months, but she loves going to nursery, as she loves being with other chldren... even if she doesn't play with them yet!

The other week, when we were running very late (holidays) she went and got her nursery bag for me! Last week, as we were leaving, she asked for 'more'. I said 'more what' and she said 'more babas' (she signs which makes it easier to understand). The next day, she refused to come home full stop and I had to literally pick her up and carry her out.

Funny, it was only a couple of months ago that she used to fuss when I took her and didn't seem all that keen.

So can't answer all your questions - but in answer to the socialising one, I know my DD already enjoys socialising with her peers!

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