tired mum needs help with 3yr old

[tinksy]

things have always been a bit all over the place with us, she started nursery at 6 months old and i worked 3 days a week, we moved after 6months, then moved again after 6 months, in with a BF who became daddy for 18 months, 4 months ago that all fell apart and we have moved again in with my parents. She has always been a bit naughty which is fine but for the last year it has become a nightmare, i have tried the naughty step, sticker charts, praise, treats, taking toys away, shouting, but nothing seems to work. She spits, hits , screams, throws her dollies down the stairs, all attention seeking behaviour. I work away for 2 days a week and that has always been the same, so i understand that she might have a bit of separation anxiety and be desperate for all of mummies attention whenim home, but whatever we do together - cooking, swimming, reading, going to library, the park, it never seems enough and as soon as im not focused on her she acts up, i cant even write this without her pulling on my arms etc. Ive been in tears somedays not knowing what to do, she is the best little person ever, i need help

[3littlefrogs]

She has been through a lot of changes in her short life - it isn't surprising that she is reacting to this in her behaviour.

It sounds as if you are trying lots of different techniques for dealing with her, and that is making her more confused and insecure.

So - you need to take a step back and decide how to go from here.

She needs:

Routine
Consistancy
Sensible diet
Enough sleep.

There are 3 adults in the house. Are you all in total agreement about her routine/discipline/food/sleep etc? If not, you need to sit down together and agree.

Ignoring bad behaviour and praising and rewarding good behaviour is really important at this age.

It will take time to improve things, and you will have to be patient and be realistic in your expectations.

HTH

[3littlefrogs]

Also - she has "lost" her "daddy" - she is probably anxious because , from her point of view, having lost one significant adult in her life she (reasonably) is anxious that her mum might leave too. So she needs lots of reassurance and understanding.