DD age 2.10 is very angry, archetypal devil / angel child!! any experience please??

[linserella]

Dd aged 2.10 has become extremely angry and is having really bad tantrums daily now.

Yesterday, when my mum was looking after her, she called her over so she could brush dd's hair to which dd responded with a screaming fit, throwing herself on the floor, hammering her fists and hammering a toy which she somehow hit herself with in the face, giving herself a bleeding fat lip.

It seems the slightest, usually most trivial thing is enough of a trigger for her and she is wild and quite out of control, then after an hour or so of screaming she seems to completely forget it all and is back to being her happy and inquisitive self

There are countless examples - her ignoring me talking to her, me turning off the tv which is holding her attention, her throwing her toys all around the room.

Me offering her usual breakfast which she loves, but it seems it was the wrong suggeston and her screaming, shouting and being very angry for about an hour. Then coming through and seemingly having forgotten it all, saying "ooo breakfast! I'd like cheerios please" (what i had offered in the first place!!)

In the supermarket, she wanted to push the trolley without any help from me - not even a finger to guide it! Yes another tantrum, lying screaming on the floor...

She has started hitting me when she doesn't get her own way, she shouts at me (I'm guilty of raising my voice at her when I'm at the end of my tether) throws things - whatever comes to hand... I'm just at a loss as to what to do and just where this has all come from. She has been exerting her very wilful personality for a long time now but nothing like this.

She is in nursery one day a week and I wonder if she is seeing this behaviour and copying. She eats a very healthy diet and I try to keep sweet things to a minimum but I'm wondering if there may be a trigger there, it just seems so out of the blue.

I'm at the end of my tether, very tired as I work 3 days and my dp is away for 3 weeks at a time so I'm on my own and just at a loss what to do / how to deal with this. She just seems so very very angry and unable to control her frustration. Her father also has anger management issues so maybe I shouldn't be surpised. Is she just an angry person who will need extra help in learning how to deal with these emotions as she grows older or am I overreacting and it's simply a two's tantrum that she'll grow out of?

I read another thread on here about the highly sensitive child which describes her well.

Any experience of this kind of behaviour / thoughts very appreciated, thanks.

Sorry for being over long.

[louismummy]

sorry this seems quite normal to me. ds2 is like this.lods of boundry testing. i found a reward chart has helped, time out ( a lot) restricting things he likes tv ect. rewarding good behaviour loads of priase. we,re going through a good patch at the mo. I find he's worse if hungry and or tired. he's 3.1. hth

[whomovedmychocolate]

Yeah they all do that - I've got one the same age and she's a right little bugger a lot of the time. You have to address it each and every time - and be very firm.

DD has been taken to her room for a two minute time out three times today for screaming. She will grow out of it.

Hey, at least yours will eat something! Mine sits there and says 'my tummy hurts' and refuses to eat at every sodding meal and has for three months. Unless it's chocolate - apparently chocolate is poorly tummy friendly .

I doubt it's nursery doing it. I suspect she's your plain common or garden toddler and it will get better

[cory]

normal terrible twos. don't overthink it or expect it to become a major problem- there are such things as self-fulfilling prophecies.

and don't blame the other children for teaching it to her- their parents are probably thinking the same about her.

[linserella]

thanks all, you have made me feel a lot more relaxed about all of this! louismummy, will think bout more structure with reward chart, time out etc, never approached it in a structured way. am restricting tv as think it prob does over-stimulate. realised today there is def a link with hunger and yeah probably tiredness too.

whomovedmychocolate - be firm, i try!! sometimes when i'm tired and on my own with her i can find myself caving just for quiet life - know it will make things worse... defo gonna try the time out. the eating can be hit or miss tbh! ah yes, chocolate never gets left!... don't get me wrong, have never had probs with nursery - she loves it and gets SO much out of it but she v much looks up to the other kids esp older.

cory, ok get yr point re self fulfilling prophesies... i'm instantly relaxed on this now and am v good at goin with flow honest! i'm sure they do think same of her...wasn't blaming the others at nursery, simply speculating in desperation!!!

[fifitot]

Sounds like my DD who is almost 3. She has decided to be difficult about bedtimes now and we have a long, tantrum riddled battle everynight. It is exhausting.