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Is this normal(ish) behaviour for a 6 year old or ought I be more concerned?

(10 Posts)
CanvasBags Thu 25-Jun-09 20:31:26

We moved house a year ago. DD is 6 and coming to the end of Year 1. We moved just before the end of Reception, so she had to change schools. But she settled in very quickly even though she is a more anxious child than many others.

She's always been a deep thinking, complex little thing. Over the past 2 months, she has had a few episodes where she is sad, articulates that she 'doesn't feel right' 'doesn't feel normal' she 'doesn't know what is the matter' with her. She says she feels sad and feels like there is something wrong with her. Then when pushed, she goes on to talk about missing her old friends. She only knew them for the duration of her time in Reception.

I appease her (eventually) by getting her to think about positive things that have happened that day and to focus on happy things that are happening in the future. I also tell her that it is normal to sometimes feel sad for no reason. It's possible she picks up on stresses from me and my husband - it's possible we've too openly discussed our own housemove+job+area stresses in front of her.

As far as I can tell, there's nothing going on at school. She has a best friend and is popular enough at school and is getting on great. So, I wonder what these episodes are really about? Can she really be missing her friends that she knew for 9 months? Or does she give that as the reason for her sadness when I try to draw a reason out of her?

Is this moroseness a typical 6 year old development phase or ought I be more worried?

Grammaticus Thu 25-Jun-09 20:40:24

Does it mainly happen at bedtime? I get it sometimes with DS but I think he is feeling sad because he is feeling tired too.

CanvasBags Thu 25-Jun-09 20:45:13

Oh yes, there is a definite correlation with tiredness.

Hobnobfanatic Thu 25-Jun-09 20:57:45

Sounds just like my 5.5 yo! When tired, she'll cry for the cat who died last year, a friend at school who moved (who she NEVER played with - he wasn't a close friend at all!), and anything else that she can ascribe her tired feelings to. Right as rain when fully rested!

If she's doing it all the time - not just at night -then tiredness isn't the issue, of course.

McDreamy Thu 25-Jun-09 21:02:49

Another 6 year old DD with exactly the same behaviour. We also moved recently (during autumn half term). You could be describing my DD to the letter.

We tell her she is confusing being sad with being tired and like you try to focus on the positive things that have happened, today, yesterday, about to happen.

Not sure what else to do with her sometimes.

CanvasBags Thu 25-Jun-09 21:03:12

Thanks Hobnobfantastic - that sets my mind at ease. So, they bring forth any reason they can think of to attribute to their 'off' feelings?

CanvasBags Thu 25-Jun-09 21:04:43

And thanks McDreamy. I thought there was nothing else going on but with her being an anxious type of child, I wanted to check that I wasn't overlooking something more serious.

I'll keep doind what I'm doing and reiterate that it's normal for everyone to feel like that when they are tired.

McDreamy Thu 25-Jun-09 21:09:55

DD is super sensitive and like you I sometimes get concerned that there's something else going on but so far nothing out of the ordinary.

She is popular (judging by the amount of party invitations she gets). She's doing well at school.

Have just put it down to her being a 6 year old tired little girl.

Grammaticus Fri 26-Jun-09 16:10:50

Yes - they bring forth reasons for the feeling. I don't ask! If there is something specific, he will always tell me, but if I ask I just get a long tale of woe that isn't really bothering him, it just feels as though it is at the time.

3littlefrogs Fri 26-Jun-09 16:15:29

When you tuck her in, ask her what was the best/most fun thing that happened today. Then she will go to sleep with happy thoughts.

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