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ds1 doesn't 'fit in'. Anyone with a child who only feels confortable with children 2 years older ?

(14 Posts)
Pitchounette Thu 25-Jun-09 10:57:47

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Pitchounette Thu 25-Jun-09 12:33:54

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cory Thu 25-Jun-09 13:37:09

Try to find out if there are any clubs locally that cater for a wide age range. We have the Young Archaeologists (though I think that's from age 8), lots of places have wildlife clubs etc. Or there are stage schools.

annh Thu 25-Jun-09 13:38:13

How is he nearly 6 and in reception? Beavers might be good for him because they have 6/7 year olds so there would be others of his own age but also boys almost 2 years older. Otherwise some kind of sport/swimming/drama club where the kids may be grouped partly by ability rather than on a purely age-related basis.

Flyonthewindscreen Thu 25-Jun-09 14:10:58

I take it your DS is 6 in the autumn, i.e. one of the eldest reception children. Is he is an small class/school? If so maybe he just can't click with the smaller selection of children available in his immediate age group but has with some of the older children. Is this the case? or am I completely wrong smile

I would second annh re Beavers as soon as he is 6 as he could mix with boys up to 8 and perhaps make some non school friends.

Pitchounette Thu 25-Jun-09 14:25:56

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snorkle Thu 25-Jun-09 14:43:27

I wonder why he's more comfortable with the older children? Perhaps it's because he's more used to playing with his cousins? I would try & encourage some same age friendships too tbh as that's where he'll be for the next umpteen years of school and being able to mix well with his peers will help him enjoy it. It's not set in stone that he'll always prefer older company, especially if you can engineer some same age friendships with likeminded children. Dd always mixed best with younger children when she was young, but now she's sociable with everyone, makes friends very easily and is good friends with every girl in her year at school (secondary) which is great.

Pitchounette Thu 25-Jun-09 15:09:55

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snorkle Thu 25-Jun-09 15:47:56

I think you have to look out for children with common interests and sort out social arrangements for them at that age. If he's not played much with a child before, he may struggle to judge what sort of games/activities that he also enjoys a lot are most likely to work, so you may need to be a little more hands on in guiding things. In a small school it can be hard as there's fewer to choose from, but don't rule out the girls - they are often more mature and sometimes cross-gender friendships can work very well at primary age.

I'm not saying you should discourage playing with older children if that's where he's happy, but be aware it can sometimes go awry if the older kids decide they don't want a youngster around or want to do stuff that's perhaps not so appropriate for someone 2 years younger, more that you should actively encourage peer friendships if possible.

Pitchounette Thu 25-Jun-09 17:34:47

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screamingabdab Thu 25-Jun-09 17:35:03

I was going to say Beavers to. They are age 6-8 there

screamingabdab Thu 25-Jun-09 17:35:14


annh Thu 25-Jun-09 19:24:33

I didn't suggest football as that tends to be organised in year groups for teams - U-6, U-7 etc. However, it might not be that way everywhere so worth checking out.

snorkle Thu 25-Jun-09 19:33:21

Yes, you can't force the friendship with girls thing - just make sure he knows that not all girls are 'girlie' all the time & that they can sometimes make good friends so that he's not predudiced against the possibility. The other lad sounds like it might be worth trying to cultivate.

Beavers is good too, but there will come a time when his older friends there move on & he is the eldest. But still a good idea.

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