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Can a child be 'too' docile and affectionate?

(15 Posts)
Jumente Tue 23-Jun-09 09:44:03

Ds2 is two and I am a bit worried about him. He's lovely - a dear little thing, very loving and sweet, very amenable and always wants to kiss and hug me.

Ds1 was not like this and I am slightly worried that it might indicate something is not quite right. I do have other minor concerns - he wasn't pointing until he was about 22 months, has very limited language, and physically looks a bit odd - other people have often commented on this.

I took medication while pregnant and this worries me too in case it has had some kind of effect.

Maybe it is just his personality but I am finding myself googling different disorders and trying to figure out if he fits any of them sad

If anyone else has a child like this I'd be reassured - TIA x

Dysgu Tue 23-Jun-09 09:57:18

Sorry no suggestions beyond speaking with HV/GP.

Hope someone else comes along with more help.

lingle Tue 23-Jun-09 09:57:24

Well, my son was quite similar (not looks-wise) at 22 months. He didn't point properly for a long time. His understanding was late as well as his speech.

Now he is nearly 4 and we are getting there, but it has been a bit slow and I and DH have had to "bite the bullet" and set aside lots of time to help him with his language.

Often a passive child at 22 months can be a frustrated child at 2 years which is good but not good at the time IYSWIM!

Jumente Tue 23-Jun-09 10:00:52

Thanks...lingle he is getting to be frustrated at times, as he hasn't the language to ask for something - even when I know what he wants and say no, he still gets upset that he can't explain it.

He's trying hard with the talking, I think he is getting there - but the other things all put together make me go hmm a little bit.

He's almost too gentle, too sweet, iygwim. Obviously I adore him and it's very nice but I don't want to miss something potentially serious - a lot of chromosomal deletions and so on seem to carry a risk of health problems as well, and I would not forgive myself if something like that was overlooked.

lingle Tue 23-Jun-09 11:00:40

You've talked yourself into going to the doctor there I

Jumente Tue 23-Jun-09 11:03:00


but I'm not sure if the GP would even do anythign. The HV said when he was 18mo and not pointing, 'wait for his two year check' well he points now so I doubt they would do anything.

I don't know how deeper problems are diagnosed - do they do a blood test?

AliGrylls Tue 23-Jun-09 11:29:43

My mother had the same problem with me. She worried about me because my development was really slow as a child. I was taken to all sorts of specialists and nothing wrong - transpired I was just a very shy child who depended on my mum because nobody else could understand me.

My mum ended up getting loads of support in the form of speech therapists and behavioural. I am sure the support she had definitely helped.

I guess the reason for telling the story is that even if there is nothing neurological nothing is lost by asking for help and it may help him become a more confident child and less reliant on his mum.

lingle Tue 23-Jun-09 12:04:54

a doctor is the person for the "looks different" query, I think?

madwomanintheattic Tue 23-Jun-09 12:17:27

are you thinking angelman's etc?

genetic stuff you would be talking waiting lists for microarray, but would get a referral to a paediatrician first who would normally be able to spot any issues worth taking further before you got anywhere near that... the 'looks different' thing might indicate something, or it might be that, well, he just looks different lol. smile

quite a lot of recognised syndromes have specific facial/ other features that can be soft signs - but i would be kind to yourself and not do any more google consultations lol. as he is working hard at the 'verbal' side that's a great sign.

maybe next time you are at the docs mention your worries and ask if a referral to a paed might be an idea? if he currently doesn't have any real delays etc the doc might just say 'wait and see'... and that's fine. if there are specific significant delays you are worried about, and feel he isn't getting the support he needs, then push a little harder for a paed referral/ cdc assessment.

Jumente Tue 23-Jun-09 13:45:10

Thankyou very much for all your help - yes, I have looked up Angelman's and it is very like ds, there are a few things on the list he doesn't have/do, but many he does. I'm grateful that you mentioned it as I hadn't seen it before - I'd been looking at things like Williams etc. of which many are very serious and would prob have been dx'd by now.

I think I'll try and get the HV to do his 2yr check anyway - she might do all the measurements and so on and find nothing wrong.

He's already very confident - I've left him in a creche, with my parents, no crying or worries at all which is in stark contrast to ds1! He also did not cry until he was about 6mo. Literally - there was maybe one half-hour session where I couldn't comfort him, during that time, and apart from that he just didn't bother to cry - whichw as actually very weird. He does now if he is hurt or his teeth are coming through (as at 6mo) but otherwise very very happy chap.

Maybe I ought just to count myself lucky!

madwomanintheattic Tue 23-Jun-09 13:52:22

he does sound lovely smile
do you wanna swap for a noisy emotional wailly one? bit older, too, so she's had a lot of practice? comes with an optional wheelchair and a few quirks lol? grin (at school, too, so you get a few hours off...)

asking for a 2 year check sounds like a great idea, and hopefully will put your mind at rest.

then you can count yourself lucky, lol. you'll only worry otherwise. smile

Jumente Tue 23-Jun-09 13:59:52


Got a very loud 6yo as well, thanks!!! I would love a girl though. Hmm will get back to you...wink

madwomanintheattic Tue 23-Jun-09 14:03:43

oh, they would be best friends. grin be like having twins, without having had the 'how do you bf two at the same time' conundrum grin

i can chuck in a free older brother or sister? two girls? you know you wanna...

...although that would only leave ds1... hmm, i can see the plan going awry here...

Jumente Tue 23-Jun-09 14:10:38

Oh dear I would love to have several more children, had we the space!! Your family sounds brilliant grin

I'm going to go and find a tape measure and see how big his head is. Then if I can find the red book it might be reassuring at least on that front!

Poor little mite. It feels awful talking about him in terms of what might be wrong, iyswim.

I'll update if we find out anything xx

madwomanintheattic Tue 23-Jun-09 14:13:19

ah well, it was worth a try. grin

will keep an eye out for an update x

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