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3 year old still clingy and anxious if I go out of sight

(5 Posts)
herbgarden Mon 22-Jun-09 17:16:55

DS is 3 next month.

He goes to nursery 2 days a week full time and has been there since 8 months old.

We have a DD of 5 nearly 6 months who has been no trouble at all and luckily for all of us is a lovely chilled baby.

DS has always erred on the clingy side. He used to be terrible. Now at nearly 3 he really still doesn't like me to be out of his sight.

He isn't particularly shy (sometimes with adults he will be a bit funny until he knows them) and he is sociable - he will seek out other children anywhere we go and is happy to go off playing but he still has one eye out for me .

But, for eg at a playgroup we go to week in week out he will still scream his head off if, for eg, I go and put the baby down somewhere and he can't see me for a second. He always wants me to come/go with him if we are at friends houses and he is going into another room for eg. to play. When I get him out of bed in the morning he then traipses after me to the loo and downstairs to get his milk. If I pop upstairs he wants to come.

None of this is particularly new but it's been made harder with his sister. He's nice to her but can play up when she's getting attention and he isn't.

I suppose I hope that his super clinginess will get a bit better but anyone who's experienced the same, I'd be interested to hear. His speech is good for his age. He is nervous of loud noises/unusual situations and change as well.

HecatesTwopenceworth Mon 22-Jun-09 17:19:16

Perhaps you could train him? Get him to stay in his room and tell him you will be back in 2 minutes, then close the door and go back in in 2 minutes and give him a treat for waiting like a good boy. Gradually build up over time so that he can be independent of you for long(ish) periods?

It's about showing him that you go, but you always come back when you say you will.

herbgarden Mon 22-Jun-09 17:44:47

Mmm, not sure how well that would work. We also have a door closing phobia - he'd scream the house down. We used to have to do that when he was a baby but it's soo much harder now he's approaching 3.

EyePeam Mon 22-Jun-09 17:48:35

A friend of mine had this with her 3yo ds, not long after their second child was born. she could barely walk from one end of the room to the other without him saying "mummy where are you going?" (no exaggeration). she couldn't go upstairs to change the baby's nappy without him having massive floods of tears.

Now he is 4 he is totally different, much more confident and happy - AFAIK he just grew out of it, I think through constant reassurance and understanding more than any efforts to train him.

herbgarden Mon 22-Jun-09 17:52:52

Thanks for that - I think I'm not really looking for answers but more re-assurance that at 7 years old he won't be still clinging on to my leg....I'm sure he's the sort of child that through life will still need a lot of hugs and re-assurance that all will be ok as he's also quite sensitive but it is really frustrating at times.

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