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ds 7 not listening ,in a world of his own,talking to himself

(67 Posts)
forevergold Fri 19-Jun-09 10:33:42

ds7 was very attentive pre school always coversing with us and listening to what was going on around him.He watched videos but you could still easily get his attention to ask him something etc.

Now,I have to repeat myself several times to get him to register he has heard.Even then he often doesn't do the request as he is usually having some kind of internal dialogue with himself about something which interests him[a joke,lego starwars tv programme or story from school].

Then when I catch him at bed time he is often distracted by toys in his room,making noises or talking to them etc.

However he listens avidly to stories and can retell them.

He is doing very well at school and is learning in his second language[welsh]

I miss his company and do think he is bored by my enquiry into how his day went etc but don't seem to engage him so easily now.

Has anyone else noticed a similar change with boys this age?He is also a lot sillier and hyped up than he used to be but I think thisis a result of playing with a lot of schoolfriends.

Just wanted reassurance this is common at this age and ideas about things to do for him to be more aware of what is going on around him and fun things to engage him in.

forevergold Fri 19-Jun-09 11:04:15

should have added he does watch a fair bit of telly which is connected I think ~ have just drastically reduced the sky package

forevergold Fri 19-Jun-09 17:39:47

bump for anyone ?
after school now its impossible to engage him
will try a board game later

rachaelsara Fri 19-Jun-09 17:45:31

I've got a recently turned 8 year old daughter who the rest of the family think is deaf because she is on another planet. There's nothing wrong with her (I don't think) I think she's just really focused on one thing at a time. She's having vivid nightmares and big diva strops too. I try and get her attention before I talk to her, hide the sky viewing card and chat about stuff.

Probably not much helps, boys and girls are like cats and dogs in their differences - though I don't know, I have daughters and nephews - not the same!

If there's a problem, school would probably notice?

MaryMotherOfCheeses Fri 19-Jun-09 17:49:45

Sounds normal to me.

DS is often in a world of his own, especially when he's playing with his star wars stuff. And frankly, "how was your day?" is not going to engage him. I know from bitter experience. Though I don't get much from DH either if that's the question I ask.

DS, bless him, sometimes tries engaging me in conversation on his level. However, t'other day, I then had to explain why I refused to talk on the subject of "If you were going to kill someone, how would you do it?" shock grin Boys, eh?

We've done a lot of cycling together this week. That's been good, and something he enjoys.

DesperateHousewifeToo Fri 19-Jun-09 17:52:16

My 7yrs old ds is like this too and is definitely worse after watching tv, playing computer or playstation for a while. Time on electronics is limited in our house too.

I've tried a carrot and stick approach to it.

He gets stickers, extra penny pocket money, praise for doing something the first time he is asked.

He gets the opposite if I have to ask something more than once. In the morning, if he is too engrosed in tv to get dressed or listen, I gradually turn volume down on tv to get him back on track. Seems to do the trick and he has been much better recently.

Lots of boys oin his class are the same and do not tell their parents about their day. We piece stuff together between all of us to find out what we need to know, lol.

forevergold Fri 19-Jun-09 17:53:31

yes I don't think there is a major problem,although I would like him to be more engaged with life around him as he used to be.

Am not sure if he is bored with my conversation lol ,or, as you say,very intent and focussed on one thing at a time ~ maybe this is an age thing.

All tv cartoons have gone and am doing 1 hr after school of tv only for a while as it does tend to creep up a lot.
He also is speaking in a slangy voice/manner from the american cartoons like drake and josh I thinkhmm

MaryMotherOfCheeses Fri 19-Jun-09 17:56:22

it's distraction, generally, I find. DS can't keep his mind on anything unless it's screen based.

I walked into his room recently to find him shuffling round with his trousers round his ankles. He was supposed to be getting dressed but had got bored half way through and was doing something else.

MaryMotherOfCheeses Fri 19-Jun-09 17:58:15

Slangy american voice is very annoying. eg, counting, "30, 40, 50..." is "thirdy, fourdy, fifdy"... Grrr.

rachaelsara Fri 19-Jun-09 17:59:30

My daughter pulls all the Miley bloody Cyrus faces - bleugh

Mary, sounds like my dh!

weegiemum Fri 19-Jun-09 18:02:26

Sounds exactly like my 7yo ds! gets so engrossed in ds/bike/lego/gogos/top trumps/etc that I have to physically move his head to get him to look at me sometimes.

THink its pretty typical for boys this age - didn't have same trouble with dd1 when she was 7.

forevergold Fri 19-Jun-09 18:03:13

Oh thanks for those comments all of you.smile
It is more noticeable when he has a cold and is tired ~he does get blocked ears with colds but its not a permanent glue ear - I suppose it could be a combination of those things.

The tv has a lot to answer for and I am realising I was finding it hard to say no when he wanted to watch tv or go on the computer.So there is quite often a background noise when I am trying to speak to him[but not always]

MaryMotherOfCheeses Fri 19-Jun-09 18:05:49

No, TV is a nightmare isn't it. Though I give DS a set time, and don't even imagine he will correspond when the telly's on. And I know he'll want to watch the end of a programme, it's unreasonable to switch it off half way through something. But once it goes off, it's off and he has to do something else. But then, like I said, he'll get engrossed in other stuff and becomes "deaf" which is a good thing really.

forevergold Fri 19-Jun-09 18:07:16

lol at MMOC ds
also talks about dollars instead of pounds?!

even when just in the garden or car,he's whispering to himself or his gogos lol.

weegiemum Fri 19-Jun-09 18:07:16

I did actually get ds's hearing checked again recently as he wasn't listening at all. Its fine. HV said it was "just 7yo boys"

forevergold Fri 19-Jun-09 18:12:32

thanks weegie grin

Maybe when they are little,everything is spoken aloud like a commentary, then when they get older it is all done in their heads?

MaryMotherOfCheeses Fri 19-Jun-09 18:14:33

I love that talking aloud thing.

I asked on here once as to when they grow out of it, cos I do think it's very sweet. I was reassured to hear several people saying their 9 or 10 year olds still do it.

forevergold Fri 19-Jun-09 18:20:14

also everything is in welsh during the day so i guess he gets used to listening very carefully and not speaking as much and has to sort of readjust to us in english

forevergold Fri 19-Jun-09 18:30:22

sorry that wasn't very clear,i mean he might switch off in school and zone out when there is a lot of fast conversation but also listen very carefully when he has to

MaryMotherOfCheeses Fri 19-Jun-09 18:36:01

Nah, sadly i don't think you can blame Welsh for that grin He just sounds fairly normal to me!

forevergold Fri 19-Jun-09 18:40:28

I'm not blaming welsh just the difference in being in an environment where you don't understand everything you hear.
He's fluent now of course anyway

MaryMotherOfCheeses Fri 19-Jun-09 19:04:11

Don't worry, I followed what you meant really wink

Insanity Fri 19-Jun-09 19:20:55

He sounds like a typical boy!

My son is like this too, he is really horrible when he has just finished playig a computer game or watching a tv program, but then so can his dad!

I make him get dressed before coming down the stairs in the morning, which took him a while (about 2 months) to adjust to this new routine but it saves me shouting at him in the morning now! We also had a week of no tv just the other week, which was nice and he did talk more.

I was talking with some other mums with boys and it seems they are all the same, we also agreed that they needed their egos to be stroked and praised all the time grin

forevergold Fri 19-Jun-09 22:19:47

ah ok MMOC smile
Insanity thats good to hear lol in the morning everything is done in slow motion and I feel I'm waiting on him hand and foot!
My ds actually responds well when I am a bit stricter with routine and behaviour so am going to be stricter with the telly overthe weekend.

Anyones ds play age of empires?We have it from my older ds but it is really good,building civilisations etc

weegiemum Fri 19-Jun-09 22:23:01

The welsh thing is interesting forevergold as my ds (all my dcs) are educated in Gaelic and do the talking to themselves thing!

Have you ever watched wee boys drawing? Making all the sounds of things they are drawing as they go along? I think they all do, but my ds does it more than most and louder!

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