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Can 4 year olds fall in love?

(17 Posts)
nevergoogledragonbutter Wed 17-Jun-09 13:51:20

Can 4 year olds fall in love?
Or develop crushes?

DS1 was walking to nursery this morning and said to DH.
"When I see Mathilde, She makes me feel all silly"

Now i've always been careful not to tease him about having a girlfriend or to pay any attention to whether he plays with the girls or the boys at nurseries.
I don't want to give him issues that he couldn't possibly understand at this age.

So what is this?

nevergoogledragonbutter Wed 17-Jun-09 13:55:04

Sorry to post and run.
Got to go out.

nancy75 Wed 17-Jun-09 13:59:33

i think its quite normal, there is a little boy at dds nursery that tells dd he loves her, and told his mum that dd was pretty and he wanted to marry her - he's 3 next week, she's nearly 4 so there could be a problem with the age gap!

AMumInScotland Wed 17-Jun-09 14:00:26

I think it's a bit like a crush - but at this age it could just as easily be another boy, or someone's pet that makes him feel that way grin. So I don't think it's anything to either encourage or discourage IYSWIM, and it'll probably wear off when something or someone new catches his attention...

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion Wed 17-Jun-09 14:00:58

Message withdrawn

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion Wed 17-Jun-09 14:02:19

Message withdrawn

PlumBumMum Wed 17-Jun-09 14:11:58

My ds has had a soft spot for the same little girl since nursery, hes in P1 now, there are 8 girls in his class and I asked him why her? and he said just,
I even let her buy a valentines for her with his own pocket money as he is so sweet about her!
He then told me he thinks she loves him too, because she picked him to be his partner for something!

PlumBumMum Wed 17-Jun-09 14:12:29

him buy her [oops]

TitsalinaBumsquash Wed 17-Jun-09 14:15:21

My DS is besotted with a little Girl at his nursery and she is with him, the run to hug each other when they meet at the nursery and DS proudly says that she is his Girlfriend and she is special to him.

Iklboo Wed 17-Jun-09 14:16:41

Ds told me I smelled in love the other day. I still have no idea what he meant

colnelcustard Wed 17-Jun-09 15:48:11

smelled in love. what a lovely thing to say.

my three year old dd is in love with a 4 year old in nursery and has even picked out her wedding dress in a wedding dress shop up the road. needless to say its the hugest merangue i've ever seen.

nevergoogledragonbutter Wed 17-Jun-09 17:32:10

He says he likes her because she sounds different (french), and sometimes she is a dinosaur. hmm

So do you think at 4 years old they feel attraction?

He talks lots about other boys but more like, 'he's my friend, we play power rangers'.
but he seemed to be asking DH what the silly feeling was he has about this girl.

noddyholder Wed 17-Jun-09 17:33:51

My ds had this at school at about that age.He liked a little girl and when i asked why he said 'small ears'?????????hmm!She left hal way through reception to go back up nprth and he never mentioned her again!

nevergoogledragonbutter Wed 17-Jun-09 17:35:00

small ears! that's so sweet.

Maria2007 Wed 17-Jun-09 17:42:31

Smells in love!!! How lovely

Anyway... yes I do think 4 year olds can feel attraction.I also think babies and toddlers have 'sexual' feelings but they're not sexual in the way we adults think about sexuality. But they do feel attraction, sure, and yes there is childhood sexuality of some kind too (as Freud found out ages ago & no-one so far, at least not that I know of, has disproved him!) So when they say 'I really like X or Y' they do actually mean it, but not in the way we adults do, if you see what I mean. I wouldn't encourage or discourage (and I would certainly not make fun of it, which you obviously don't do, but which many many adults do!) I would just accept it for what it is.

How sweet though.... aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh....

nevergoogledragonbutter Wed 17-Jun-09 17:51:08

DH didn't say anything to him at the time, and waited until we were out of earshot to have our little moment of 'oooh, how sweet'.

We don't plan to ask him any more about it as he's quite self conscious at times. And it all seems so innocent and lovely.

tsom Fri 19-Jun-09 22:06:44

My ds got "married" by the juniors in the school playground to a girl when they were both in reception. It lasted for months and they had planned everything - they were either going to live above a bakery (so they could have mince pies for breakfast), run a shop (selling fishfingers) or be a dentist (but hadn't decided who would do the work and who would hand the stickers out). Sadly a new boy joined the year and ds1 was given the heave-ho. He told me he felt kind of sad about it. sad Oh heartbreak at 4, I nearly wept for him. Interestingly no new crushes since...

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