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Behaviour/development

I really HAVE to stop dd blowing raspberries all the time. How??

8 replies

HuffwardlyRudge · 16/06/2009 16:06

I've tried ignoring it for the loooongest time. I've mildly but consistently told her that we don't blow raspberries, and that it's not very pleasant. She knows it is rude.

Whenever someone says hello or talks to her she blows an enormous spitty rasperry and it's horrid and I'm fed up!

Her teachers are tired of it and telling her to stop.

Everyone is getting fed up, and the polite smiles of my friends are getting more and more rictus.

How do I stop her from doing it.

She is three.

She does not respond well to incentivising or punishment. She is not bothered about star charts or treats for doing or not doing something. She thinks getting in trouble is brilliant fun.

She's mostly a nice little girl, if a bit socially awkward (even for a three-year-old) and I think she gets a bit overcome or feels silly or something and now it has become a habit.

I'm looking for clever solutions. Maybe replacing the behaviour with something else? Or explaining in a 3-yr-old way about WHY we don't do it. She likes explanations and rules.

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mrsmaidamess · 16/06/2009 16:10

Why can't you just ignore her? She's obviously doing it for attention.

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mrsmaidamess · 16/06/2009 16:12

Just read your first line...but I still think ignoring the bad and praising the desirable is the way to go. Even if in a shop she doesn't blow raspberries when the person on the till serves you, make a big fuss of her.

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malfoy · 16/06/2009 16:14

I don't think you can stop it if she is doing it when she feels awkward.

My DS now 4 is a bit like that in social situations if he feels shy/ awkward. Not raspberries but silly shouting.

It is her way of coping with feeling shy.

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HuffwardlyRudge · 16/06/2009 16:14

Ignoring the bad and praising the good is my favourite way of dealing with things but it's been months. It's become a habit now I think. She does it when she feels shy. Sometimes she does it halfway through a conversation right in someone's face.

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HuffwardlyRudge · 17/06/2009 08:12

Bump.

Any more thoughts?

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HuffwardlyRudge · 17/06/2009 14:00

I guess we'll just keep ignoring the bad, praising the good, and hope she grows out of it before her first job interview...

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debs40 · 01/07/2009 10:25

Hi

I don't really have any suggestions but I wanted to say that my son is EXACTLY the same. He is three and a half and a really lovely, kind little boy, yet when in public, especially with people he doesn't know, he raspberries or says 'poo poo lady' when someone talks to him.

I know it is because he is shy as I can see that he is overwhelmed but that is hard to explain to others.

I suppose, in the end, it doesn't matter what others think. It is about helping your child cope with new people or shyness. I have started to pick him up while I'm talking to someone or I try to anticipate problems by letting him know he's likely to feel shy and suggest he hold my hand or hide behind me. I also say to others that he is shy and this is his way of coping.

I don't think there's a short cut