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Biting and how to handle it??? Help!

(4 Posts)
emblem77 Tue 16-Jun-09 11:52:48

My daughter is 21 months old and generally a happy and independent little girl. She started being a bit of a thug at toddler groups back in January, pushing, pulling people to the ground, all the usual asserting themselves behaviour. I quickly started using a timeout area and the behaviour did get better. I had a baby girl in March and around this time my eldest bit someone for the first time. I thought we handled the situation well by telling her off, making her say sorry and letting her know this was unacceptable behaviour. She has since bitten people approximately 6 times since then and this morning we have had the worst incident yet.

She entered a play tent at our usual toddler group and bit a little girl that was in there (the same girl she tends to bully each week despite being told off every time). The bite marks on the little girls nose were awful, big indents that clearly showed she had clamped down hard and bitten with intent.

The little girl was crying, the mum was crying, I took my daughter to the usual naughty corner and shouted at her, smacked her hand (I do not usually smack but was so flustered), told her this was naughty and she should never do it. After a few minutes of her screaming in the corner, I told her we were going home and made her apologise to the little girl first (we do baby signing so she signed sorry). I apologised profusely to the mum and left. I told my daughter again in the car how wrong that was and refused to let her have her favourite sing and sign cd on in the car.

I am so upset that she has done this. She is currently sleeping in the car and I am researching this behaviour online. I feel like I can never go this group again as it always feels like my little girl is the bully. I just cannot believe she caused someone such hurt deliberately.

Is anyone else experiencing this? Did I react in the right way? How can I stop this from happening??

I feel like the worst parent ever.

bigchris Tue 16-Jun-09 11:55:04

she is only 21 months old
she is not a thug or a bully sad
you just need to keep telling her 'no' firmly
don't stop going to the group
it will get easier, give her lots of praise when she behaves nicely

ICANDOTHAT Tue 16-Jun-09 15:49:49

emblem77 My ds 1 was a biter .... it was a complete nightmare. I was one step behind him everywhere we went. He too would 'pick his victims' - never a friend of family member which was very odd. You have no choice but to ensure you supervise her closely until she grows out of it, which may nor be until 2.6yo as in my case sad I tried everything ... biting back, smacking hand, time out etc. The only thing that worked in the end was removing him immediately from the situation every single time and going home. It was a bind, because sometimes we had only just got there, but I persevered. Keep going to the groups because she has to learn what is 'acceptable' behaviour. She is not a bully or a thug. Some kids smack, some pinch and some bite. It's a territorial and communication thing - often related to frustration, excitement or fear. By the way, I now have an adorable 12yo who is mortified when I relay his biting antics to him now [grim]

ICANDOTHAT Tue 16-Jun-09 15:51:13

That should be a grin not GRIM ...

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