Two tone complexion (black baby)(20 Posts)
Was wondering if anyone had any experience of this. My baby born to two light skin black people was born very dark (he has dark grandparents). It was a shock, but fine. However his face has got lighter and his body remained very dark which people comment on, it really annoys me and I wonder if he is going to even out. He has eczema as well, not sure if that affects anything?
No experience but thought I'd bump this out of 'Unanswered threads' for the morning crowd.
I would just say....don't trouble yourself by getting annoyed at other people's comments. Other people talk tripe most of the time!
People love commenting on skin colour don't they? I wouldn't worry too much Worrier28 - your baby's skin colour will continue to keep changing. I'm Chinese in ethnicity and DH is White British and he was born with a mop of black, black hair and looked very Chinese. He's now almost 16 months old and people just love commenting on how 'white' he is. His hair is getting lighter and lighter as well - now a light brown! It annoys me a little when people say he doesn't look Chinese at all (he does as he looks like me when I was little or so my parents say ). But I guess I'm not too bothered as when he was born, it wasn't nice for DH as everyone said DS looked exactly like me (and how the Chinese genes are 'dominant' . You can't win!
Thx Angel, it's weird how people comment so much on babies and it makes me paranoid! I was even thinking perhaps his dad does think he is his child because he is so dark. Ah well, I look forward to the changes.
DD is mixed race and her face is quite a bit lighter than her body.
Both of my dc seem to change skin colour quite a bit, I think it is normal.
Yup, because we carry our babies, we know for sure the babies are ours! For daddies, it can't be nice for people to go on about how their child don't look like them or have their characteristics! Ha ha. Seriously though, it's weird people feel the need to comment on skin colour... Where I come from, it's even worse! They still have a fairly 'backward' idea about white people being somewhat superior and strangers go on about how 'white' DS is and how good-looking he is because he is mixed, or they even speculate on who the father is (if DH is not there, they will ask things like 'father American?' ). I think it's absolutely rude especially if my friends and their children are with us... You can't control what people say or do though. DH and I are amazed at how much DS has changed from when he was a baby but not just his skin colour though, he's just amazing to us cos he's ours!
DH is mixed race, DC is pale, DS is darker - with red hair!
Try not to analyse it too much, and skin tone does change according to a whole range of factors.
Seeking reassurance again! I went to the baby clinic and saw a hv, she seemed to suggest I was using something too strong on his face (I only use doublebase). This has upset me as his scalp is also lighter than his body and I haven't been using anything on that? Basically she said not to use anything but he has all sorts of rashes and gets itchy?
It seems everytime I visit the hv they upset me, the last time they said he was too fat and they keep giving conflicting advice.
dh and I are white and blonde haired. dd is therefore a white child, with very fair skin, white blonde hair and blue eyes. She however has eczema. As a result her torso looks yellow in colour, sometimes almost brown, and can be blotchy, sort of the colour of old bruises as someone once pointed out to me
In my opinion therefore eczema does change skin colour, and would probably be much more pronounced on a child with darker skin (although less like bruises )
I have been to the pharmacist and the doctor about dd's eczema (it is mild) and have tried various lotions/potions but nothing has changed her skin tone. I guess it's just something they grow out of as their skin gets tougher and they get older.
I'm mixed race (south asian/euro) and my extremities are much paler than my body. My brother is paler, and had blond hair now sandy-brown, my sister has very dark hair and similar skin tone to me. I have had mixed race friends with very varied skin tones - including dark with freckles.
Skin colour can 'throw back' to previous generations and very occaisionally an apparently black child can be born to an apparently white family because there was a black ancestor way back.
My dd is mega-whie, which surprised me. She also has eczema which can get blotchy.
When I was at school, the nurse and PE teacher commented on how dark my back was (as my face is very pale olive). My PE teacher asked if I had been using a sun ray lamp I think this kind of differing tone is quite common in mixed race kids.
Thanks guys, so helpful. I know that steriod cream can cause skin lightening but have heard nothing about doublebase doing the same thing. I hope he evens out eventually, always something to worry about!
eczema can cause pale patches in dark skinned children, the eczema just temporarily upsets the pigment but it will settle. Doublebase is fine, its only a moisturizer.
I am white and my dh is mixed asian/white, ds1 is pale and blue eyed, ds 2 is darker and brown eyed (but less so than dh) and ds3 is a baby but appears to have blue eyes and olive skin. Had quite a lot of hurtful comments from people about how ds1 looks nothing like dh, wish people would mind their own business
I must stop bumping my own posts but I just want to offer a heartfelt thanks. I've split with his dad and things are tough, I constantly worry about everything and take peoples comments to heart.
Glad to hear doublebase is fine and that his complexion will settle.
Worrier28, I'm black and my back and stomach are MUCH darker than anywhere else on my body. My arms consist of a darker tone on the outside and a lighter tone on the inside. My chest is light compared to my neck. My neck is dark compared to my face. My forehead is darker than my chin. God, I'm beginning to sound like a complete freak now, aren't I???
I guess what I'm saying is I wouldn't worry too much about differences in skin tone. In darker coloured people, it is not unusual. You'd be hard-pressed to find ANY human being (dark or light) that has the same skin tone over their entire body.
And re: the HVs at babyclinics, I swear I sometimes want to bash their skulls in! I had one insist that my DS1(at 5wo) was jaundiced. I told her he wasn't - it was just a combination of his skin colour (DS1 is mixed race black/white) and the yellow poster hanging up on the wall casting a weird light on him. She was still insistent and called over her colleague to get her opinion. I eventually had to drag DS1 naked outside into the natural light to show them that he wasn't!! I also told the HVs that he had really bad reflux. They insisted that he was just spitting up normally. DS1 is now on medication for severe reflux, confirmed by my doctor
Scaremongering fools, the lot of them! Given that they couldn't even be bothered to answer any of the REAL pressing questions I had about DS1 (they simply treat it as a weighing clinic and nothing more, unless they want to stick their oar in), I haven't been back since.
Not saying that you shouldn't go to YOUR baby clinic but, sometimes, it's best to take what some of this supposed educated HVs say with a pinch of salt. And of course you should moisturise your DS's body - dry skin could further aggravate his eczema and any itchiness caused by it.
Worrier, I agree that people make so many comments if they can't figure out exactly what the genetic make up is. I've split from my children's Dad, and he is mixed race black/white. My children look white, I thought, until we got to Ireland. They are noticeably a bit darker here. Nosy people look at them and are just torn apart from the nosiness of not knowing 'for sure'. My x isn't around much so they have to ask subtle (they think) questions about how recently we've been on holiday and where abouts my x was from. ("london") Some days I get annoyed with myself cos I realise I've told our life story going back a couple of generations to somebody who doesn't care about us, they only want to satisfy their nosiness.
Anyway! Not everybody is nosy though. I only get annoyed because I think, excuse me am I obliged to tell you my life story?
My cousin adopted a baby when he was only about 6 wks old, and she wasn't telling everybody. People ferreted the truth out of her though. People who knew nothing about her, NEEDED to know if it was HER baby or not. She was really exasperated.
Anyway, Cortopin 1% hydrocortisone and oilatum are great for eczema. I chuck loads of oilatum in the bath. I should moisturise my childrens skin too, but they hate anything cold, so I spray a bit of johnsons aloe vero mist oil on them when they get out of bath. they just hate me rubbing cream into them..
I'm white, but my torso is darker than my face/arms/legs (like I have a tan). So agree with Asana that it's not just a mixed-race thing.
Health visitors should come with a health warning! I was told that breastfeeding isn't ideal past 6 months as formula contains more vitamins.
My DD has eczema and we tried various things (inc oilatum) but nothing worked until we ended up using thick greasy vasolinely stuff which works a treat. Thing is, nothing works for everyone and you just keep having to keep trying stuff until you find something that works for you. Good luck!
angel76 wrote: "strangers go on about how 'white' DS is and how good-looking he is because he is mixed"
I'm white European, DP's Chinese/white European.
A few people have commented about how good looking DD is because Chinese/European and how good lucking Chinese/European people. I kind of just smile and think wtf are you going on about! I hope DD doesnt get guff like this as she's getting older!
I've also had people commenting on what a lovely dark complexion DD has * Shrug *
OP just ignore the daft comments people can be so weird and not worth bothering about!
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Sorry if I'm wrong, OP, but it sounds to me as if you might be focusing other unhappiness in your life into the hope that your son's complexion will settle.
Quite frankly, as long as his complexion is not the sign of any health issues, it absolutely does not matter if it changes or not: he is your beautiful boy. If other people make stupid comments, then the problem is the other people, not your son's looks. Try to find more supportive friends and ignore random strangers.
I thought it was a bad sign when you were worrying what your boyfriend might think he was not the dad: this is not the way a decent man in a good relationship would think. Our blond blue-eyed son looks nothing like his dark olive-skinned father and the thought never even occurred to me that his dad might have a problem with that.
Our dd does look like her dad, but her torso is definitely darker than her face; I think this is pretty normal. My Chinese dn is much darker than either of his parents and has a totally different cast of features, but I have seen pictures of his granddad and it's clearly his genes. If your son looks different to either of his parents, no doubt it's because he takes after an ancestor.
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