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Very clingy 3.4 DS about to start school nursery. HELP!

(2 Posts)
newshoesshinyshoes Fri 12-Jun-09 18:43:35

DS has been going to day nursery since 1 year but dad has always done drop-offs as he's so clingy with me. We've been going to toddler group (with me staying) in an attempt to encourage him to socialise (and put my mind at ease!) Trouble is he won't leave my side or my hand even at snack time, and I'm really worried nursery in Sept will be too traumatic for him.

Any ideas that I can try to encourage his confidence and independence before then would be very appreciated

Thanks

jenhden Fri 12-Jun-09 22:15:20

i went to as many toddler groups as possible and once dd had done a tour of the room sat down and didn't go to her - if she wanted me i'd ask her to bring things to me. If she was upset i would go with her but return to the boring chair asap.
my aim was to be the "rock" and not move without telling her first - so she could come back when she felt she needed to and in a suprisingly short time she would run off and play on her own for whole session.

i also backed off at home for a while - setting her on with a toy and then reading the paper etc

When she went to nursery she was still clingy but was upset until i was out of the way and then was happy to carry on like she did in toddler groups as she knew she was ok playing in groups without me next to her.

Because dad has been doing drop offs ds may have learnt that he gets collected again but hasn't tested you yet!
also if dad is anything like my dh he will be very matter of fact about it which is probab;y the best way - if you don't do it now he'll have to do it when he's 5 at school and at least nursery staff are allowed to cuddle them properly!

Its so hard thinking of them crying without you to comfort them but for his future happiness he needs to learn that other people can comfort him and make him feel safe too.

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