DS hits throws and smacks - 2.2 years old - horrorbag!

[andirobo]

What would you do? I roared at him earlier, which ended with me, DS and DD(7) in tears - he would not get in his car seat and I then put him in and while strapping him in he lashed out at me on the forehead with a toy plane - and it drew blood! Well I lost it with him, balled at him, slammed the car door and then got in my side and off we drove with him crying his heart out - I think I scared him. After a few minutes he was saying sorry mummy I be good now, but this is a typical scene for us at the moment and it is wearing.

I realise it is usually when he is tired - the 4pm onwards time of day is a battlefield. He throws things, lashes out and smacks, punches, etc in sheer frustration. Usually triggered by me saying no to something he has asked for - usually food - and quite often too close to teatime that it would mean that he wont eat his tea.

Food is another issue - he is a poor eater, but would snack all the time rather than have a meal with us - he wont eat proper food - I give him whatever we are having, as well as some tinned pasta (I know....) or mash and beans, and he pushes it around, as he will have had some fruit earlier.

It is getting to a point where I can see his behaviour getting worse and worse as he gets older and being the child that no one wants to play with in Nursery!

When he is good, his is lovely, and a delight to play with, but how do I deal with these outbursts? He is a firery redhead!!!

[wolfnipplechips]

I have a fiery red head to and he has come as a bit of a shock as our dd was so calm, i don't have the answer i just wanted to let you know your not alone.

We're doing the naughty step at the moment but to be honest he isn't really bothered by any of it. I've tried lots of positive parenting too but he seems to just forget and lash out.

[BirdyArms]

I have a red-headed 2.4 yo ds who's only flaw is extreme violence towards his immediate family, mostly his 4yo brother who fortunately seems to be a pacifist. When I tell him off he growls in my face. My standard discipline is to sit him in a corner where he can't see us for about a minute, it doesn't seem particularly effective though.

I am really hoping he grows out of it as I have no idea what to do. He has bitten another child twice but mostly reserves his violence for his nearest and dearest. It is awful when they really hurt you, it makes me genuinely lose my temper then I feel guilty that I have overreasted but then maybe it's good for them to see that there behaviour is extremely upsetting.

[BirdyArms]

....also agree that positive parenting doesn't help for my ds2. I am very positive with him because he is generally well behaved apart from the violence. He is definitely a lot lot worse when he's tired. If he's in a bad mood he is going to lash out however he's treated, a change of scene sometimes distracts him but often isn't practical as he's at his worst around teatime and bedtime.

[Claire2009]

I have the same problem more or less, Ds is 2.2yo, he hits/screams/throws stuff/pulls his Sister's hair/pushes/slaps/tantrums - yesterday for 20 mins + and even if I looked at him he screamed/threw himself around even more! All because he'd hit his 3.4yo Sister & was put on the naughty step, which he done, said sorry to sister, then it all went crazy!

Not sure what to do, he is a great eater, generally well behaved but these tantrums are something else

He headbutted me this morning while diving about in bed and ow that hurt!

When he's told off he flings himself down kicking & screaming "Nooooooooooo" ..

ARGH! Dd was not like this, she's a moaner/whinger this is all new! HELP!!!

[andirobo]

It is so good (in a way) to see that I am not the only one suffering! I really do hope it is a phase and we get through it!

[slowreadingprogress]

it is a phase of course!

I think the key to it is to remember that it IS a phase and that he won't be like this forever. And to keep calm, above all things.

Have your consequence planned (take him out of room, time out, whatever) and implement the consequence but try not to let it really rile you up. He does it because he's 2 and not able to control his impulses; our job is to remind him endlessly TO control himself.

On the eating thing, I do know that many 2 year olds have a natural wish to eat little and often. They have tiny tummies and need them stoked up more often than adults. I know it is nerve wracking to let a little one snack because you do want to have family mealtimes and for them to have a proper meal; however I do think with kids that sometimes it's just not worth fighting some battles. Maybe for a while he could have six little healthy snacky meals a day? One of them could be a mini version of the dinner you're having, but because you'll know he's eaten healthy amounts all day you don't need to sit there desperate for him to eat it all.

I did this sort of thing with ds when he was two and it worked fine; and it has had no long term ill effects; as he got older and bigger, he got more able to wait for his dinner so he has gradually evolved into the 3 meals a day pattern.