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HELP! 17 month old crying until she is sick

(13 Posts)
Theimperialcharliecat Mon 08-Jun-09 23:19:22

My normally lovely 17 month old daughter has always been tricky to get into bed, I have tried cc in the past but it never seemed to work as she would get so worked up that she would vomit (despite me going into her every two minutes etc) I have tried again tonight and she once again started crying, then gagged and threw up all over herself/ her cot etc. Its now 11.15 and she is running around as bright as a button so she isn't unwell. I would like to stress I am not leaving her for any longer than two minutes at time and am at a complete loss as to what to do. Tell me this doesn't last forever please!!

cazzzz Tue 09-Jun-09 01:57:15

Just adding a note of support here.

I think there is a paragraph in Toddler taming about this - see if the advise helps.

It will be something that your child grows out of, but is totally frustrating now.

Speak to your GP / health visitor. i honestly can't remember if you can use sedatives on a child this young (Night nurse etc for colds??). But it might be worth considering it for 4 days to break the cycle??

Don't let her out of bed after you've changed the sheets - that's what she wants. Put her back in the cot.

Could you cut out her daytime sleep so she's really tired by bedtime? I suggest definitely not letting her sleep after 2pm, and no more than 1.5 hours of sleep max in the day.

Good luck

RoseOfTheOrient Tue 09-Jun-09 02:29:53

what time does she go to bed? Just let her stay up later - what's the big deal? If she is not tired, she will be very frustrated. Can't believe anyone would sedate a toddler sad
And no, it doesn't last forever.

thehouseofmirth Tue 09-Jun-09 04:29:13

Sedatives? Surely you are joking?

Definitely make sure she's tired enough - how many naps is she having during the day? Do you have a nice, calm bedtime routine?

I used to stay with DS1 until he drifted off. Took only a few minutes and never any crying or upset.

flamingobingo Tue 09-Jun-09 05:35:05

I think I would be sick if I were in distress and knew the people who I thought loved me were ignoring me, for however long!

And please, please don't sedate your toddler!

She's completely normal, it's just frustrating. She'll still thrive if you just let her stay up and you change your expectations to meet her normal development, rather than trying to change her to meet what you are hoping for.

She will grow out of it. If she's really struggling to get to sleep, try going out for drives with her, or for a walk with the buggy.

EachPeachPearMum Tue 09-Jun-09 06:25:07

My dd did this too- and she was never left- just hated bedtime- she would scream in my arms.
She grew out if it.
I was firm that once she was in the cot, she stayed there- so put her in say goodnight etc, then go out if room for 1 minute, go back pick her up, cuddle her, calm her, put her back to bed, go out for 1 minute etc repeat ad infinitum.
It took forever a while but she did get it- of course this only works if she can't climb out.
We had a really strong wind-down/bedtime routine too, so she knew what was coming.
You have my sympathies.
What time do you start bedtime at present?
Maybe starting earlier would a) give her more warning, b) give you more time once she finally goes down?

Confuzzeled Tue 09-Jun-09 07:17:53

You have my sympathy, I also have a problem sleeper, she is now 2yo and we have spells of decent sleeping.

My dd won't be sick but she'll hurt herself to stay awake, poke herself in the eyes, pull her own hair, bite her fingers etc.... She also wakes up during the night and hates going back to sleep.

We used the No Cry Sleep Solution as I found it quite good support to know I wasn't on my own with a child that hated going to bed. We actually tried hundreds of different sleep training methods but this was the only one that worked for us. CC didn't work at all for us and I frankly got annoyed with people telling me to do it once my HV had done it properly with me and it hadn't worked. Some kids have more complex sleep issues and people always try and tell you that your doing something wrong. Remember it's not your fault.

We now don't ever nap for longer than 30 mins during the day and never after 2pm. (She may or may not have had a bath at 6pm but we don't bath every night.) At 6.30pm she sits down with her warm milk and we watch 64 zoo lane and charlie and lola together, we have lots of hugs and this time is very calm. I tell her once we've watched tele we'll go upstairs, read a story and go to bed. Just before 7pm we go upstairs and cuddle up in her bed for a story, I tell her before I read the story that she'll go to sleep once it's finished. We read the story then I get a kiss, she lies down (not always easy) and I sing 2 songs and rub her back until she goes to sleep. I'm usually downstairs by 7.30pm.

I found the most important thing is to stick to the routine and never loose my temper. If I get at all angry she gets really upset and can be there for hours.

Before she moved into her bed we did the same routine in her cot but I didn't need to rub her back, just sit near the cot. But any change in the routine means a step back.

A couple of weeks ago we had 9 nights in a row when dd slept from 7.30pm - 6.30am, I was drunk on sleep.

Babieseverywhere Tue 09-Jun-09 08:06:14

{{{Hugs}} to the OP, having a difficult sleeper is very hard to deal with on a number of levels.

Just to give a different point of view, our 2 year old toddler (ATM) started sleeping poorly when her new sibling arrived. Despite being in her own room since she was 5 months old, she moved back in with us and we all have a lot more sleep.

Maybe if you settle her in your bed you can have the evening to yourself downstairs with DH and join her in your bed later on. Time to worry about her sleeping on her own when she is older and more secure, if she is so upset that she vomits she doesn't sound ready at the moment.

BTW even if you decided to co-sleep for now (to get more sleep and a break from the stressfull bedtimes for both you and her), she would grow up and leave your bed when she felt ready to, nothing is forever with children.

Just a thought.

Babieseverywhere Tue 09-Jun-09 08:16:50

forgot to say even if you need her to be in her own room now, maybe co-sleeping for a few days might break the pattern of her getting so upset. Worth a try ?

CrushWithEyeliner Tue 09-Jun-09 08:33:33

flamingo - bang on

Theimperialcharliecat Tue 09-Jun-09 10:15:37

Thank you everyone sooo much, its good to know I'm not alone with this! Some great ideas which I will try. We do have a definite
bedtime routine of bath, wind down time etc but I'm finding its getting harder and harder to get her into bed, She will fall asleep if next to me on my bed but wakes up going garrity if I try to get her into her cot before she is properly asleep. I have been loathe to leave her alone in my bad but will make sure she is secure and try that tonight. The main problem is that she is going to bed so late now, it was gone midnight last night! so will definitely try and stop her sleeping past 2pm. I was also worried that letting her stay up was damaging her somehow, so good to know that it is hopefully a passing phase that she will grow out of. Thanks again all [grin}

Theimperialcharliecat Tue 09-Jun-09 10:19:16

grin blush not quite used to all this interweb malarky yet!

Confuzzeled Tue 09-Jun-09 17:39:05

Have you thought about moving her into a bed? She might sleep better in it and you can sit next to her while she drops off.

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