Kindergarten want DS to wear nappies again because he has had two BM accidents?

[Hummahummamumma]

DS (2.11) has been toilet trained for 3 weeks and although he totally 'got it' almost instantly for weeing (having left it 5 months since the first unsucessful attempt!) and is now like an old hand with zero accidents since the first days, he has only managed to do a couple of poos in his potty/toilet as he plainly doesn't like it and can get v. stressed. He holds on as long as he can or goes in his pants when he is out of the house and can usually do it without being rumbled and whisked to the toilet first! Anyway, I was being pretty relaxed about it as this seems from what I have read to be quite common early on and I hoped it would just click soon and if not I would just endure a pair of dirty pants a day rather than let it be a issue (better than nappies, right!).

UNTIL last week when he pooed in his pants at Kindergarten (we are in Germany) after not having a single accident there until now. Anyway, the first time they were fine but having done it twice, they are saying they want me to put him back in nappies! That is the last thing I want as I am concerned it will make him regress back to weeing too and am feeling very upset with them for being so unsupportive, is this normal? Any advice? I am at my wits end as he is doing so brilliantly otherwise.

[Tambajam]

I think he is doing really well and as you say what you describe is totally normal. I'm not very knowledgeable about kindergarten requirements but is there some kind of compromise where he can wear training pants which may contain any accidents more easily. I used brightbots trainer pants which were great. How long would they expect him to be in nappies for?

[Hummahummamumma]

The odd thing is, they were happy for him to be in nappies before he was toilet trained - I just don't think they are giving him a fair chance. Having said that, I realise having now read my message again after your answer, I am being VERY emotional about the whole thing. I had not even considered training pants!

[abroadandmisunderstood]

Hi

I am in Germany and had the same problem with DS1 in Kindergarten. He was a little older though. We were pretty much there with the BM and he wore pants at home but I think the stress of language, new place etc. panicked him and he had two accidents. They then asked for him to be back in nappies.

I was horrified until we tried pull ups, and combined with his increased confidence in Kindergarten, he "got" it and all is ok now.

Good luck and don't worry. I've been there too!

[Hummahummamumma]

Thank you abroadandmisunderstood (that should SO have been my name!). I am so glad it is not just me! I think it is times like this when I am just accutely aware of our 'foreigness' and it just makes things seem so much more daunting and me perhaps a rad oversensitive. I am off to pick him up soon, we'll just have to see if he is wearing the same trousers or not..........

[Hummahummamumma]

Tad - TAD, not rad!

[Travellerintime]

hi humma,

fwiw, when we were going through this with dd two years ago, she got the wee thing v quickly but like your ds, still had the odd BM accident.

The nursery she attended (in Scotland) were fine about this - I just had to supply spare knickers just in case. In fact it probably took another few months before she got pooing in the toilet. So there were certainly a number of accidents at nursery, but they were happy to deal with. I totally understand why you would see this as a retrograde step for ds.

Best of luck - hopefully training pants will help. Have you considered the re-usable ones, as they're a bit more like pants anyway.