DS1 enthusiastic behaviour with guests

[wineismyfriend]

DS1 is 4.9 and very outgoing and friendly, however he also feels the need to be centre of attention when we have friends or family around.

He gets very loud and always wants to be in on the conversation or rather control the conversation. He get jealous if DS2 gets any of the attenion and his way of dealing with this is just to outdo DS2 by getting louder and become more annoying .

This afternoon we has some friends around and although they don't have children they paid DS1 huge amounts of attention although at times he was just impossibole to ignore; talking loudly, shouting in the garden, sitting on knees etc......

DH and I are at abit of a loss as to how to deal with his behaviour. At the moment we warn him to calm down and the when he doesn't he goes on the stairs for 4 mins, when he does return to the group he is calmer for a couple of minutes and then it all sarts again .

Does anyone else have a DC who is like/was like this??

Please help! Thanks

[HecatesTwopenceworth]

Keep removing him, I'm afraid. It takes time. At nearly 5 he is old enough to understand when you tell him how to behave.

Perhaps get into the habit of making him wait - for eg when he climbs on you, move him down and say "Please wait for 2 minutes while I finish what I am doing / saying" Then at the end of 2 minutes, turn your attention to him and say "Ok, I am free now" or something.

And although he is impossible to actually ignore, you can certainly give the impression of ignoring! You tell him that you will be with him in X minutes and then you turn to whatever for those minutes, regardless what he is doing, and when that time is up, you turn back. You praise him enthusiastically if he has waited nicely.

See, he cannot be the centre of attention all the time, it's not good for him. Children who grow up used to having the world revolve around them and all eyes on them at all times, struggle in the 'real' world, which doesn't revolve around them.

[lingle]

agree with Hecate and suggest you use a time (perhaps with a buzzer) so the 2 minutes doesn't seem so long to him.

DH used to set a timer for 15 minutes to do housework then have 15 minutes doing play with DS1 then 15 minutes to himself etc and the timer makes it all possible.

Start with 2 minutes not 15 though!