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Is anyone else having 'ishoos' with kids due to start school in September?

(32 Posts)
womblingfree Sun 07-Jun-09 18:34:49

Is anyone else having 'ishoos' with kids due to start school in September?

DD will be a few days from her 5th birthday when she starts, and has a great time at nursery but since Easter (which was around the time we found out all the details about school) she has been very trying (defiant, telling fibs, lashing out at me and DH, sleep a bit dubious and now bedwetting when she has been completely dry for 2 years).

I can only assume it's anxiety about starting school. There are only 3 other kids from her nursery going to the same school, none of which she is especially friendly with.

The school runs a v. good induction course which we will be attending for the next 3 Friday afternoons so she will have the opportunity to meet other kids but am worried ( and frankly a bit fed up of dealing with the wobblies, although last week has been a bit better behaviour waise, if worse in the bedwetting dept).

Would be interested to hear if anyone else is having similar probs or has any advice, although will have to check back in later as a pile of ironing is calling me!

Smithagain Sun 07-Jun-09 18:58:57

Not yet, but I do remember DD1 getting quite stressed before starting school. The trouble is, practically every one you meet seems to go on about it: "oh, is she starting big school, how exciting, are you looking forward to it...." blah, blah, blah.

It all went on so long and she got quite wound up by the anticipation. Once she'd actually started, she calmed down a lot.

Don't know what to advise, other than keep the build up as low key as you can manage. It's a long time till September!

CarGirl Sun 07-Jun-09 19:02:44

I haven't really mentioned it to my dd4, dd3 was fine until we were going up to school to collect her siblings and she wasn't actually going because they do staggered intake. She ended up starting 2 weeks after her 4th birthday because she started to get nightmares about it - then was fine once she started.

Wheelybug Sun 07-Jun-09 19:14:15

My dd sounds similar - defiant, shouting at us etc. We have just had a baby so thought it might be that but she adores dd2. She says she's excited about school but guess its all a big change.

She also claims to be bored of nursery having loved it preiously.

blametheparents Sun 07-Jun-09 19:21:05

Oh god yes!

And I am so pleased to find out that someone else is having the same problems, I thought it was just me.

She is defiant and has lashed out, also hitting her brother (though nobody at pre-school yet, thank heavens). she has not started wettin the bed, but other than that you could be describing my little madam!

DD start school in September and will have been at pre-school for 2 full years by the time she leaves. I feel that she is getting bored of pre-school. She is constantly asking about letters and numbers and pre-schools don't really teach that sort of thing anymore.
She is desperate to start school, and each weekend asks if this is the 'long holiday' after which she will start school.

Without any comments from me, the pre-school leader mentioned the other day that if children are going to play up then it is generally this term. I guess they just need new challenges?

CarGirl Sun 07-Jun-09 19:29:28

When people with Autumn born dc ask me my opinion about starting them I always say don't rush in as 6 terms at pre-school is a long time and they get bored.

The whole system is a bit of a nightmare in England IMO

NKffffffff8efe84afX121b6daf031 Sun 07-Jun-09 19:59:11

hi ive got this to come in september i dont know if ds is ready hes not interested in learning any letters or numbers so its goin to be a challenge its been 13yrs since i last had a little one go to school! im sure they will go with the flow and it will be us mums who worry more!!!!!!!smile

FabulousBakerGirl Sun 07-Jun-09 20:01:34

My son will be only 4 and 2.5 months and is acting normally. He is sure which class he wants to go in so if he isn't in it he might find it hard, but other than not, no problems here so far. He has been going to this school since he was tiny so it is normal to go to school every day, he will just be staying. sadgrin

MuppetsMuggle Sun 07-Jun-09 20:06:20

My DD (4) starts infants in sept, and is definately more defiant than ever now, stroppy and throwing tantrums.
She loves it at pre-school, but from her learning review at the pre-school 2 weeks ago, she loves to be sat down either with anything artistic like, paint, glue, colouring in, or you will always find her head in a book. I believe she will thrive in school, and I think at the moment she is a tad bored, so i'm trying the best i can at ,home with her. she's doing puzzles for ages 6+ and is starting to read (i'm so proud) at pre-school they are not allowed to teach as such, as at that age its learning through play, and I know DD needs more stimulation learning wise, so I think this is the reason for all her tantrums!

Sorry its long LOL

womblingfree Sun 07-Jun-09 20:13:56

Blamethe parenst - you've summed it up perfectly - Thank God it's not just me!

I have been coming up with all sorts of theories as to why but school seems the most likely. I also started working again around easter after nearly a year off following redundancy. I only do 8.5 hrs a week over 2 days and she has a great time with her nans, but what with that and nursery 2 mornings it has cut back on our time together a fair bit. Even wondered if she was jealous of me a DH's improved relationship since we both changed our working arrangements last summer and have become a lot closer as a result.

The school she is going to is fab, headteacher is lovely and it's 5 minutes walk away, but she has a little gang of mates at nursery and 1 best friend who we also see socially every couple of weeks and they are all going to another school, as the nursery itself is in a different catchment (we sent DD there as it is small and privately run rather than dispatch her to the massive one near us after 3 years being looked after by family only).

I have tried giving her a bit more time and attention this week and being more patient with her (I had been really struggling due to her behaviour) and it seems to have helped. Have also cut out lemonade and crisps which she didn't eat masses of but was the only thing I could think of that might be affecting her food wise. Am seeing doc re bedwetting (also has phases of going frequently during the day) on Weds and have 1st session of school induction on Friday so hopefully that will also be a positive thing.

Sorry to go on. Just a relief to finally get it off my chest. I know loads of mum's with kids starting school in September and none of them seem to be having this.

womblingfree Sun 07-Jun-09 20:16:11

Muppets - by daughter is similar academically and I definitely agree with them being understimulated. All they seem to do at DD's nursery is go over and over them recognising and writing their names, which she has been able to do since turning 3!!!

smellyeli Sun 07-Jun-09 20:23:03

We are having this. DS will be 5 the weekend after he starts school. He has just realised (this week) that he will have to go EVERY DAY! He is playing up at bedtime, a lot more defiant, even being mean to his sister whereas previously they got on well (she is only one, mind you!) He is still in pull-ups at night and I have abandoned any thought of trying to get rid of those before September.

I am torn between talking about school a lot to prepare him, and just not mentioning it so as not to upset him! The irony is, he is so ready for it, and I know he will really enjoy it once he's there.

Perhaps it's a sign of high emotional intelligence?? [clutching at straws emoticon]

MuppetsMuggle Sun 07-Jun-09 20:26:33

Wombling Free - same at DD pre-school and her key worker would love to do more with DD but can't due to the learn through play rule

We have started to make an hour of an evening before bath and bedtime, that we sit with a book and her writing books and go through them, she loves this.

CarGirl Sun 07-Jun-09 20:29:10

I am envy at all of you who are sending your dcs into reception at nearly 5 instead of barely 4!

FabulousBakerGirl Sun 07-Jun-09 20:46:42

My daughter was 4 and 1 month when she started reception, sad.

CarGirl Sun 07-Jun-09 20:49:30

dd3 was full time within 2 weeks of her 4th birthday, at least dd4 will be about 4 & 6 weeks when she's full time sad

womblingfree Sun 07-Jun-09 20:50:37

DD is fine about going every day. DH works at a school so she knows she will be doing similar times to him and have the weekends and the same holidays off and thinks that's great. I think she will just miss her friends. We were in the car the other week and she burst into tears and said 'Mummy I'll never, ever forget my friends from nursery,' and the list of who she wants to invite to her birthday party (also weekend after starting school) gets longer every week,

CarGirl Sun 07-Jun-09 20:54:59

Don't think dd4 is bothered as her 2 next up sisters are there already 95% of her pre-school will be in her class etc

blametheparents Sun 07-Jun-09 21:02:40

And DD has started having tantrums like a 2 year old. She is testing my patience. Interesting what you say cargirl about 6 terms at pre-school being too much, I totally agree. Although they have different 'themes' each term, essentially it is quite similar each time. i think DD is as fed up as me of playing with the play dough! lol

I just hope school lives up to her expectations. Luckily lots of her friends from pre-school will be going too, just not sure which classes they will be in yet.

Kayteee Sun 07-Jun-09 21:31:57

Don't know if any of you know this but if you feel your dc are not ready to go to school they don't have to.

You have the option to home-educate for as long as you like. You can keep your dc back until you feel they're ready OR indefinitely.

CarGirl Sun 07-Jun-09 21:33:55

Kayteee I don't think I could HE dd4, nos 2 & 3 yes but 1 or 4 absolutely not they're far too sociable, not to mention the fact I need to work in order to eat!

FionaJT Sun 07-Jun-09 21:34:58

Yes, to answer the original question! Your dd sounds just like mine at the monent, Womblingfree (minus the bedwetting, thankfully!!), and in a similar social and academic situation too. In fact, this is the first time in months I've logged into Mumsnet, to try to shed some light on the situation, so I will join the chorus of 'Thank goodness it's not just me'.

Kayteee Sun 07-Jun-09 21:37:29


the social side can be great as there are sooo many people doing it these days but obv work restrictions apply to some.

Just wanted to mention the option though because it never ceases to amaze me how some parents don't even know that HE is legal sad

tribpot Sun 07-Jun-09 21:41:30

ds has been a nightmare at nursery since he discovered he would be going on to big school (has cried about this). Not helped by the fact they also brought some of the 2-3 room kids over at the same time. He's never settled at nursery, so in that sense it's not so bad but now he's especially bad about being left in the morning and I dread to think what school is going to be like.

CarGirl Sun 07-Jun-09 21:45:32

tribpot sad

Kaytee - really? I would certainly HE is my dc weren't coping/happy/didn't suit school

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