Clingy 3rd old DS driving me mad, help!!!!

[star1976]

My DS is 3.4 yrs and has for the past month got so clingy that it is litteraly driving me mad.

If I try to have a conversation with someone (anyone except him) he interupts desperate for my attention, screams if I leave the house without him, and won't leave the house with his dad. Even to the park to play football, which he normally loves!

I am a childminder and therefore spend all day with him and have since he was born, but he has never been like this before.

DP used to bath him every night and now he is always asking for me to put him in the bath, DP is not allowed to put his shoes on or anything, it is getting ridiculous!

He is due to start going to nursery 5 afternoons a week from September and really need him to get out of this before then. Is also causing friction between me and DP as I think he should be making more of an effort to do things with him and he just says 'he doesn't want me'.

Any advice would be much appreciated

[loulou33]

My ds1 (3.5) does very similar things in phases. currently i am the favourite but sometimes it's dh. I usually totally ignore 'i don't want you to do 'x', i want daddy' and within a few days it is gone. Dh however, gets very offended by 'i want mummy, not you' and gets cross and then goes off in a huff (therefore ds1 gets what he wants as i have to take over). Ds1 carries on asking for me for everything once dh has got cross with him.... i guess i am saying that i would ignore all silly requests, like 'i want mummy to put my shoes on' - you may have to ride out a few tantrums i'm afraid. I would also carry on going out etc whilst still ensuring he has time on his own with you (and i mean just the two of you, no one else). I know you spend all day with him but how much time does he actually get on his own with you when other children or dp aren't around?? I have noticed ds1 has been more demanding of my attention since ds2 was born and i now make sure we get at least 15 mins each day, just the 2 of us to do what he wants.

Ds1 also interrupts all the time - we ignore him and then when we have finished allow him to say whatever it is (usually nothing) and give him praise for waiting if he manages to be quiet (this is very rarey).

Sounds very normal to me but i guess i'm used to it!!