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Bedtime..hell on earth..ds refusing to go, screaming blue murder, won't stay in bed. What to do?

(18 Posts)
tiredandwornoutmum Sat 06-Jun-09 20:08:20

Recently Ds 3.9 is creating havoc at b/t. Twice this week he is absolutly fine, then soon as we start the bed time process he finds he wants something. Today it's a lolly just as we go upstairs hmmobviously thats no going to happen, so we get meltdown, screaming at the top of his voice 'I want a lolly now' over and over and over and over.
How do you cope with the NOISE..it goes right through me..and probably right through to the neighbours as well.

Do the bath and dry through the screaming/hitting/kicking. Then refused to let me do teeth, try several times, so I say ok fine, thats it I'm not doing it now, you'll have to go to bed without your teeth being brushed. Then of course ds wants them done, so I try, and he fights me, so I stop, he wants them done again, so I try and he fights it (repeat ad nuseum) After an 20 mins of this finally get him into bed and he's calmed down.

So sitting downstairs just now,I think I can here him breathing which is odd as I can't normally hear it, so go to investigate and he is out of bed, out of his room and he has taken every single bit of washing drying on the radiators upstairs and put into the laundry basket shock

He is normally such a good boy at going to bed and sleeping straight away so I don't know how to stop this behaviour and keep him calm ready for bed.

Help!!

tiredandwornoutmum Sat 06-Jun-09 20:10:30

And now..just as I've come downstairs again, the tw*t nextdoor has just started to play on the drumset ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

GoingLoopy Sat 06-Jun-09 20:24:28

IS he overtired?

my neigbour gave her dd a cold shower when she wouldn't ^STAY IN bed - i wouldn't suggest that though.
He is testing you to see how far he can push you at bedtime. Put him back to bed with no discussion, say good night and leave the room.

psychomum5 Sat 06-Jun-09 20:29:13

as he had anything different to eat today, like some ice lollies as it is summer weather.....something with colours in??

mine only tend to do this when they have had sweets of fizzy (altho saying that, they don;t need anything much to tip them into hell-at-bedtime-mode!)

tiredandwornoutmum Sat 06-Jun-09 20:30:48

He has been very tired recently, last week (half term week) we went away and he had lateish nights for a whole week...so I do think he is over tired and is still catching up.

But thats twice now he has taken himself back out of bed once I have gone downstairs, and has 'done' other things upstairs without making a sound. On tuesday he was alseep (or so I thought) and then at about 9 o'clock (2 hours after I'd put him to bedshock)I heard a sound coming from my bedroom and went up to find he had sprayed all my purfume all over a mirroe, taken ALL his soft toys and put them into my bed and was currently say in my bed with his pencil drawing on some paper he had foundshock

I'm now worried he could get upto all sorts when I think he is safely in bed..will be constantly checking he is actually asleep now.

tiredandwornoutmum Sat 06-Jun-09 20:32:32

Hmm, he has had candy floss today (from the school fate) I wonder if that has anything to do with it.

tiredandwornoutmum Sat 06-Jun-09 20:32:41

Hmm, he has had candy floss today (from the school fate) I wonder if that has anything to do with it.

3littlefrogs Sat 06-Jun-09 20:33:23

Agree with the overtiredness suggestion.

Consider starting at least half an hour earlier, and the offer of a really nice story or game in bed.

Alternatively - is he sickening for something?

3littlefrogs Sat 06-Jun-09 20:35:54

And close and secure all the other doors and windows. They do get VERY adventurous at that age. (A friend's child got out of the window and sat on the roof. she didn't hear a thing until her neighbour was frantically banging on the door).

tiredandwornoutmum Sat 06-Jun-09 20:37:59

3 little frogs!!! shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock

tiredandwornoutmum Sat 06-Jun-09 20:38:50

We have lots of stories and songs and cuddles normally.

Cathpot Sat 06-Jun-09 20:38:50

All my sympathy, I find trouble at bedtime so irritating as I have had enough by then and want my chance to just sit down.

Have you gone down the sticker route- I ask because DD1 was being hugely irritating at bedtime 2 weeks ago and 69p on stickers later and bedtime is transformed. I also got some v tacky hair accessories and if she gets ten stickers she gets to choose one. We are one present down and 15 good bedtimes in a row now.

Also 'looking for the tooth monster' game helped with teeth issues, you have to chase it round the mouth with brush and finally catch it and flick it off into outer space etc etc.

There maybe a reason he is being difficult just now or he may be just 4 years old and pushing your buttons, either way I heartly recommend some sort of bribery and lots of distraction! Good luck

3littlefrogs Sat 06-Jun-09 20:40:05

Sorry - didn't mean to scare you, but IME when they are approaching 4, it seems like they get a new lease of life and energy, but don't have any sense of danger. It is as well to be forewarned.

psychomum5 Sat 06-Jun-09 20:44:43

could be the candy floss...........tis pure sugar after all, with a colour........tis like speed (I know, I have been foolish enough to allow it for mine.............never again tho, never never never!)

tiredandwornoutmum Sat 06-Jun-09 20:46:07

Really hope it is the candy floss..because that suggests this could be a one off [hopeful emoticon]

GoingLoopy Sat 06-Jun-09 20:56:00

you being tired and worn out defintely doesn't help.

my ds1 is a few months older and agree its a very challenging age! You have my sympathies (i had a complete breakdown a couple of weeks ago). lots of praise and positive attention seems to work well. stickers and reward charts have never been that successful for us but definitely worth a try.

We also do the tooth monster game and start by asking what he has eaten today that the tooth monster likes to eat, but he needs to be calm before you start that.

HAs anything changed in your bedtime routine that could have upset him or means he gets less attention and cuddles at bedtime?

WE ahe almost totally cut out any foods with additives in (I have my secret stash for me of course!) because it definitely affects his behaviour.

Ds1 gets lots of attention until its time to sleep then that is it finished. I always tell him that I will come back and see him in 5 minutes. Don't do anything to encourage him (positive or negative attention) to get out of bed again. He knows its naughty to spray your perfume everywhere so don^t go mad, just lead him straight back to bed with no discussion or conversation.

I definitlely think he is testing you, so the quicker you stop this the better if not it will become an on going drama at the very time of day when you deserve and need your quiet time.

tiredandwornoutmum Sat 06-Jun-09 21:38:28

Thank you goingloopy..yes I definitly need to do the rapid return without any telling off/or questioning. i admit I did ask him why he had done it and then gave him lots of cuddles..so of course he got what he wanted didn't he?

tiredandwornoutmum Sat 06-Jun-09 21:39:23

When you do return him to bed, saying nothing. Do you re kiss him and say goodnight?

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