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4yr old resisting pre-school

(4 Posts)
ABitStretched Wed 03-Jun-09 11:33:54

ds1 (4) has just started resisting pre-school. He is fine all the way there then gets emotional at the door. He's fine all day when he is there. He is being assessed for ASD and we have had problems like this before but only when it is accompanyed by other behavioural problems and other signs of stress. At the mo' everything is sweet, just this one thing. We've talked a bit about primary school - maybe this is causing it? any clues? or strategies for dealing with it. I've tried asking if anything is wrong and have so far got that he doesn't like playing Power Rangers with one boy coz he hits ds1 and he doesn't lik playing barbies. Nursery assistants always say he's had a good time.

Kayteee Wed 03-Jun-09 21:52:04


nannynick Wed 03-Jun-09 22:14:58

Does he have to go to pre-school? Is pulling him out for the rest of this term and spending lots of 1:1 time with him and option?

When did it start happening? Can you pinpoint when the resistance started... then can you find a cause. My gut feelings in these matters is that an event occurred that has unsettled him - it may be something another child has done, something an adult has done.

Talk with the nursery manager, what is their view?

Ask him what he likes at pre-school... keep him thinking about the positives rather than the negatives.

blimey Thu 04-Jun-09 11:06:53

I have noticed that my 4 year old is getting ambivalent about preschool at the mo and his behaviour is also deteriorating there. Last year a lot of the 4 year old boys started misbehaving in their last term or 2. I think they start to get a bit bored and ready for the next stage. I also wonder if they are busy testing boundaries. From my obs it seems like a dev stage and I am thinking a lot about how to tackle it. I have given him one day off preschool and chat alot about his strengths etc.
I think there are issues around peer relations which seem a lot more important at the mo and self esteem seems linked in with popularity and who is friends with who.
Could you get a friend of his round to play? I think building alliances with others can help.

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