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5 1/2 year old that cries a lot!

(4 Posts)
MoooCow Tue 02-Jun-09 21:07:56

My lovely, happy 5 year old crys a lot. If something dosn't go her way with freinds or with us her parents, or if she does something by mistake, or if she can't do something, instant tears and tantrum.
Im a bit worried because I dont see this ever in any of the other kids at school or in her freinship group, I'm worried that she is going to ailienate herself soon.
She had a freind round for tea tonight and cried 4 times...1, to wait for icecream after school, 2 she didn't get a go on the swings, 3 she spilt her water!, 4 she didn't get the bowl she want'ed.
She is on the whole a very god girl, but this bursting into tears is driving me mad, and I don't think it's good for her relations at school...any thoughts?

justbrowsing Sat 06-Jun-09 23:43:59

hi moocow
this is like ds- he's 6 though, and things have improved a lot in the last year.

He will now only cry once or twice and only for things he really wants.

He used to cry any time he had a playdate when the friend was leaving. Now he will only cry when his best friend he's leaving.

I find it quite embarrassing and I don't know how to react, if I say stop crying he will start sobbing and cries louder so ignoring is best for me.

He also cries when he wants something and I say no.

I never give in now to his requests (macdonald one of them).

I actually take the blame for this, as I used to give him anything he wanted to make him stop, and that has landed me with a worse problem.

Any advise or experience that it will pass would make me feel better too

PacificDogwood Sat 06-Jun-09 23:52:31

Your DD sounds a bit like my DS1: the world's most dramatic child with absolutely NO frustration tolerance! He is now 6 and overall things are getting better. Interestingly there is no problem with his behaviour at school hmm.
When he cries over not a lot I try to remain as calm as possible and talk to him about it when he has calmed down. I might say to him: "I'll talk to you when you feel better." He sometimes goes away in his room and I hear him bumping around quite obviously struggling to compose himself. He then comes back and apologizes.
I think he genuinely has a hard time tolerating adversity, no matter how small, and often feel quite sorry for him. Compared to easy-going DS2 life is oftern v hard for DS1. I find him being older and more articulate has really helped. We read books about feeling angry/annoyed/losing/not getting a maths answer right instantly/having to wait ones turn/accidently getting splashed in bath etc etc - all the kind of things that set him off. He was also a terrible screamer as a baby, which I now recognize as a personality trait rather than there having been anything in particular wrong with him - or my parenting hmm.

Sorry, no real advice, but IME it does get better with time.

justbrowsing Sun 07-Jun-09 00:36:24

pdw - interesting how similar our dss are.
Mine is an angel at school or with his grandad (old school) and never has tantrum when he's either at school or with grandfather.

We talk about feelings too and he says he can't control himself - he's got an urge he cannot stop.

I am not making a fuss anymore about it. DH used to get very incensed especially if the tantrum was because he wanted to go to mcdonalds!

Now I mostly ignore it, he calms down in his own time - the whole process is quicker if there is something new to distract him!

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