Why are some days so crappy? :((3 Posts)
It's Mother's Day here today. My parents, my niece, and my in-laws came for a visit this afternoon - which should have been pleasant for all concerned.
Why is it that after all my effort of baking a cake, providing food for our visitors, buying gifts for both mothers, and making sure that the entire house was clean, did my ds (4.8) decide to carry on like a possessed person this afternoon??? It was only last Thursday that I told him how proud I was of his good behaviour lately... well NOT today. Firstly he defied his dad several times when told not to do something, then when my MIL and FIL turned up, ds decided he wanted to have a lie down on the lounge with his blanket and pillow (where we were all sitting!!) and threw a wobbly when dh told him to move. Then - when I thought things were finally settling down - ds told MIL & FIL that it was time for them to go home.
He honestly must have vibes that I want him to behave for my MIL, because this is the second time that he's behaved woefully when she's around - I guess I'm extra sensitive about it because she's made several comments to me about my 'badly behaved' nieces (she's called them 'wild' and 'little monsters'). Ds doesn't see her very often anyway and therefore probably doesn't really see her as his grandmother, and he says that FIL 'scares him'... I don't know why though, as he is a nice man. I was thoroughly worn out when everyone left and I quite frankly I felt like knocking ds into next week. Sorry, but you know what I mean. It seemed that no amount of threatening or coaxing him to behave today worked at all.. it's times like this that I wonder whether or not I have raised a civilised child. Perhaps it's a maturity/testosterone thing but I certainly hope he grows out of this. Any assurances of other people being in the same boat would be of great encouragement....
You have raised a civilised child, you siad yourself that last Thursday you were proud of him, but kids will be kids and boys will be boys. Maybe he did sense you wanted things to go well and sensed you were tense and acted up? Kids have bad days, just like the rest of us. He woke up on the wrong side of the bed, or whatever! You have to have bad days to appreciate the good.
HAppy Mothers Day btw,
my ds's definately pick up on the stress involved when parents in law make a visit - the organising, cleaning and cooking. they are both very judgemental aswell and only come down occasionally but i still feel we're all on trial. once we've run out of conversation all eyes turn to what the children are doing and they sense this, becoming self conscious and go into manic entertainment mode, sensing they have to perform in some way. we've found the more sucessful days have been when we've gone out for a walk or a meal thats been near a playground or open space they can race around. older generation can be extremely difficult to please - ds saying it was time for them to go home was probably picking up on your tiredness and being refreshingly honest? as my ds1 has got older and more confident my mil now suggests he's a little precocious
i use to feel i and the way i brought up our children was being put on trial and now realise there is 'their' way and 'my' way and i now defend them if i feel their remarks are out of line. maybe try a different location next time? threats, humiliation or coaxing doesn't work - i would just be honest with him and if his behaviour isn't to their standards do the same but with a compliment - maybe say he's tired because he's been so excited waiting for them to visit and couldn't sleep the night before and remind them we all have off days!
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