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My 2yo dd doesn't like her daddy (my dh).

(9 Posts)
Confuzzeled Sat 30-May-09 17:59:14

I'm just wondering if this is normal?

Basically if I'm around she wants nothing to do with him. If she's alone with him then she's fine, she'll play but she never snuggles into him for hugs or anything.

He spends time with her and me but doesn't do bath or bed times because he's not usually home till about 7pm.

She goes to nursery and practically pushes me out the way to get in the door. So I don't think it's separation anxiety.

If I go upstairs to the loo when dh is out she'll just carry on what she's doing. If I go up to the loo when dh is in the sitting room she hold onto the stairgate and scream.

I think it's getting worse too.

I'm pregnant, due to pop in August and I'm worried that this behaviour will continue.

vesela Sat 30-May-09 18:15:16

When did it start? My DD is just 2 and recently, for the first time, started to insist that I and not DH do certain things like read her bedtime stories.

She's also just started nursery and also runs in without a backward glance, so I assume her sudden Mummy preference at certain times is some sort of counter-balance to her new-found independence.

LovelyTinOfSpam Sat 30-May-09 18:20:29

I am in the same position, DH does loads with DD, she's looked after at home and we probably do about 50/50 on the childcare front.

Yet she has started showing a preference for me, and it's quite upsetting for all of us. So far I'm telling her not to be so silly. Hopefully it will pass, I'm sure it's just something they all go through.

She's 22mo BTW.

missmapp Sat 30-May-09 18:27:12

Ds1 went through a phase of this, we just stood firm and insisted that daddy was going to read the story, or play the game or whatever it was that ds was objecting too. We also made an effort for dh and ds1 to do activities together, just the two of them, it seems to have worked and things are back to normal. I think if you stand together and your dd sees that you def come as a package, they stop pushing those buttons!

Confuzzeled Sat 30-May-09 18:54:02

It's always been a bit like this but it's got worse since maybe the beginning of this year.

She doesn't like me hugging or kissing my dh either and tries to push him away. But she'll give him a hug and a kiss if I tell to.

It is upsetting for me too. My poor dh gets really upset and is really trying to get involved with her. She's fine when they go out just the two of them.

LovelyTinOfSpam Sat 30-May-09 19:15:12

Just done bedtime. Daddy changed her nappy but mummy had to do her skin cream, brush her teeth, put her pajamas on and read the stories.

We're going along with it for now, the thing to remember is they don't actually mean it.

As evidenced by the fact DD will give DH a night night kiss but not me hmm

There is no rhyme or reason to it and they don't mean anything by it. Reassure your DH that it's just a phase and they all do it, show him the thread if that will help smile. I know how it is though, my DH gets ever so sad when it happens and I am sad on his behalf.

Confuzzeled Sat 30-May-09 19:19:39

He says he thinks it's just a passing phase and she'll like him better when ds arrives.

I do hope so.

rubyslippers Sat 30-May-09 19:21:55

i have the opposite problem with DS and always have

i reassure myself by thinking it is a phase and at some point he will want me more

also, people say that igrnoing shows a sense of securiy in the relationship IYKWIM

MIAonline Sat 30-May-09 19:27:31

I totally agree with missmapp's approach, we had a very short phase of this just before DS turned 2. It is just another way of a toddler asserting control. We just used to brush it off, distract and stick to whatever was going on, so that it didn't become an issue. It passed very quickly.

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